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Mourning a lost love; embracing a new friendship

user image 2009-10-20
By: Didjeridurian
Posted in:
We tend to become attached to people in life. When someone is "gone" we mourn them. When someone we love dies we have to accept that they are gone and be happy that they are moving on. If we have a deep understanding of the nature of the universe we know that we are all just passing through. We know that we are the ones who perceive their passing as a "loss", but they are on a beautiful new journey.Even with the deepest understanding we feel the pain of our loss. We mourn the times we shared, the feelings we created together, and every little nothing that made that person so special to us. We cannot help but mourn for the beauty that has passed, or the ties that have been broken. Don't be afraid to mourn, don't hold back the tears. But just know that the night, the winter, and the emptiness must come. For the night is the herald of a new days sun, the winter is the bearer of springs great renewal, and the emptiness is the canvas ,that without which, nothing could be created. We will do well to accept these things and keep our awareness within their grasp as long as they remain. Do not cheat your mind forward to the coming renewal, for to not appreciate the darkness for its natural place would be a travesty unto your own experience. Let the renewal come to you in its own impeccable time, and for your patience and wisdom will come the promise of unsurpassed beauty and joy.I write this having lost my deepest love. Not through tragedy or mortality, but through the nature of change. In this experience I am learning that we only mourn what we no longer have. When you cultivate a deep love for someone you may find yourself becoming attached to some of the qualities that you perceive to define that person. You may pledge yourself to that person for those qualities that allowed you to develop such a deep connection. If you remain true to yourself you will realize that attachment has no place in nature. Nature is forever changing and becoming new. To love someone unconditionally is to understand their potential and their right to change and become new. You must also be aware that the same applies to you. If you are changing and finding new directions, and they are changing and finding new directions, you must realize that you may just find it impossible to continue a relationship. It is no ones fault. However when we invest so much time, energy, and emotion into such a relationship we can tend to reinforce our attachment to the person that we perceive them to be.Sometimes two people change and grow in the same direction. When this happens the love and bond becomes stronger and deeper, however when two people grow apart, you must be honest with each other and yourself. You must know when to let the other go. If either person stays in the relationship just for the sake of the relationship, you will be holding yourself and your lover back and creating underlying resentments and discomfort.To accept this occurrence is to accept the loss of a relationship that is a very large part of your life. You may be gaining a new relationship with the same person, but it is inevitable to feel the pain of losing a love so deep.In this way my heart feels the pain of loss, but my mind acknowledges and appreciates the new friendship I have found. My greatest lesson is to head the warnings of attachment. The most glorious part of nature is that everything is always becoming forever new. Having that in mind, we would be wise to love and appreciate what we behold, but never expect it to remain what it is forever. Open your heart to the beauty of ever new creation and open your mind to the infinite possibilities of your individual experience.I may need some time away from as many things as I can for a little while. I also may like to keep interacting as per usual to keep myself sharp. I just want to put it out there so if I happen to dissapear for a little while you don't think I am abandoning anyone. Love to you all.
01/03/24 06:28:11AM @bkstantforw:

I'm sorry for your loss bro.... Embracing the pain of loss while acknowledging the potential for new beginnings reflects a deep understanding of life's continuous cycles. Take the time you need for self-care, whether it involves solitude or regular interactions, and know that your journey is unique, filled with both challenges and opportunities for growth

Dirty Momma Funk
10/29/09 02:09:12PM @dirty-momma-funk:
Hey might want to think about joining the "Relationship Support Group" here. This would be a good post for that section.

Lonnie Berg
10/21/09 03:00:55PM @lonnie-berg:
My heart and prayers are with you Brother and wish I could bring you some comfort in your time of need. I've been there after a 14 year relationship needed to come to an end, I feel I can relate and if you wanna talk or anything I'm here for ya, namaste'

10/21/09 02:17:40PM @iain:
I swear i hate october,I can relate to where your thoughts are at, my own are the same for the same reason,I felt like cutting my dreads and disappearing,I hope you're all right, and your words have helped me to.

10/20/09 09:43:13PM @echolynnrain:
Wow brother. That was really beautiful. Loving you! ~hugs~

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