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Hey all,
This post is more of a relieved rant than anything else. Today was horrible. I get back a test which I failed and have very little faith in passing when I take it again. I realized that the college of my dreams may flat out be too expensive to be realistic (even though it was practically MADE for me and I am absolutley confident I can get in). I had a counseling session for my non-existant drug/alcohol problems-apparently whether or not it was my fault, when I am in a car accident and have minute amounts of weed and wine in my car I still have over a THOUSAND dollars in fines and fees to pay. (There goes what I did save all summer for college) I got absolutley nothing done academically because I had too much other shit to do. I could continue...but I'll spare you...
There were only two things that got me through the day.
1) Trevor Hall
WATCH THIS^ This is not a question or a request.
2) My dreaddies 
someone came up to me today and asked if I was dreading my hair..which means my hair is forming enough for people to notice. Which is amazing.
Also, another story I hope you guys can appreciate the way I do....
I have a buddha necklace that is leather and the pendent is probably 2 by 2 inches wide/tall and maybe an inch deep. I've had it for months. Its made from just an old buddha that these two guys found and made into a necklace (it's what they do). And I lost it last weeknd. I took it off to play frisbee with some friends and ended up forgetting it in the grass, going back an hour later to find it already discovered by someone else. I was really upset at first. And then I realized- I didn't love that necklace because I enjoyed posessing it. That necklace was important to me because of what it meant, what it stood for, what it reminded me of. Maybe it had already taught me what I needed to learn from it. Even though I am still sad that I can't proudly wear it around my neck and enjoy the aesthetics of it,I wonder who gets to wear it now with enthusiasm. Maybe my buddha can teach someone else all that he taught me. Maybe more, maybe new lessons. I think it was just time for it to leave me. He was ready to seek out his next student.
Well, it's 14 months for me today. I love my dreadies, even though they are not really that.
They don't look like that. At all. When I lift a part of my hair up, you can kinda see them, but when my hair is down, as it normally is, it just looks messy. Now, that wouldn't be a problem if I was at, I don't know, 6 months, or even 9. But I'm 14 months in, and for the past 4, nothing has happened.
Literally - nothing. One of them has maybe moved a loop a bit up, and that's it.
I am unemployed, and I really need a job. I realize they cannot discriminate against spirituality/religions, but I'm not even sure there is something like that in Serbia (regarding the law), and even if there is, they would never tell me I did not get the job because of my hair.
After the interview, they just don't call back. And even if I were to ask, the valid reasons they can give me is that I have no working experience in that field. Which is true. But in order to get experience, somebody has to hire me. And to get the job, I have to have experience... And so on. Catch 22.
So, I love them and I hate them.
Aaand, winter is coming, and I can't sit indoor all day drying my hair.
This is my hair last night,
and this is my hair 10 minutes ago, sunlight an all. And it's wet, so it's supposed to be more defined than usual, but... Well, you can see.
If I were to comb them out, which I believe I will do, I will keep a couple of them. The two behind my ears which are the the only mature ones I have (they have been that way for a looong time), I sometimes tie them back to keep the hair out of my face. And maybe a few more special ones.
But I'm afraid I'll regret it. On the other hand, I've been thinking about this for months.
It kinda frightens me that I used to break up with boyfriends and completely cut them out of my life after only a week of doubting the relationship, and I cannot bring myself to comb my hair after months of thinking about it. That sounds rather wrong...
I think I am being overly paranoid I posted another picture and this is just after I rinsed them. Is the root suppose to look like this?
So, no one in real life has noticed (or at least said anything about it yet) that I have stopped combing my hair. It will be very interesting to me to find out when someone is going to make the first comment. (Hopefully it won't be brutal, and perhaps even maybe will be positive. One can hope.)
I did a lot of gardening tonight to try and clean the yard up a bit, and I feel better about it now. Got eaten up a bit more by mosquitoes. Summer is over here now but they are still hangin' on.
Don't think I am going to wash the hair tonight, but I may just soak it in the tub. With perhaps a bit of BS (baking soda, that is) and ACV. Good for the skin as well as the hair! :P So maybe that does count as washing? Anyhoo.
Any ideas on how I could decoratively cover up my bathroom mirrors? I was thinking maybe some nice fabric or something. Or maybe some large posters. That would be cool.
.
. I am so happy to be doing this. I feel comfortable with the fact that I will have dreads. I was never comfortable with my hair before. I have found my thing 
So, I feel kind of depressed right now. I really hope that I am not on a false trail here with the idea of going for these neglect dreads. I mean, many times with many other things I have not been able to follow through. Especially when it comes to patience. But I REALLY want this. So I am going to stick it out for now, even through the rough times. I am going to give everything over to mother nature and just let things run their course.
I am going to drink my hot tea, enjoy not being at work, feel the feeling of my toes in socks without shoes, and enjoy the cooler night temperatures that fall has brought. I am going to cede control of my hair and try to just forget about it for a while. Maybe I will even tape over the mirrors and just let vanity completely go. Isn't that part of the point, after all?
Sigh. There is always so much room for progress. But at the same time, while I realize that, I just want to be in the moment now and enjoy it while it lasts.
Peace.
Best parts: Not combing hair is great, scalp itchiness and grubbiness issues seem to be working themselves out, enjoying washing every 3-4 days versus every day, enjoying using way less hair products, enjoying more volume. Feels great.
Worst parts: Hair doesn't look like it is necessarily doing anything, but I guess it has its own schedule.
Other observations: I think that my hair sections out better with the bs and acv washes, but the bs really makes my scalp flare up. So far, the best combo was the recipe that I found from nescalocs youtube where the baking soda, acv, sea salt, lemon juice etc. was all mixed together in the sink and used as a soak. That did not bother my scalp at all, in fact, it calmed it down quite a bit. I had a lot of build up from the bs though after only using it for a week and thus had to wash with shampoo 1 time (I bought a special clarifying organic shampoo with no cones or moisturizing ingredients, so hopefully I wasn't undermining my progress). Anyhoo, at least the scalp is at a tolerable level.
I know it's stupid, but the one thing that gives me hope is that even fine, soft dog's hair will dread when it is long. So if their hair can dread, so can mine. I just gotta keep pluggin' along. The combs and brushes are in the drawers for now, but maybe when I get further along in this journey I will just gift them to someone else or otherwise altogether get rid of them. After all, I don't think I will ever be needing them again!
Minimalism strikes again! :P
I've always be a fan of dreads and been on the fence on whether I wanted them or not.
July 31st, I created my first dread on my left temple using the backcomb method. As I did not have a proper comb to do it, I did not get satisfactory results. So I did more research on alternate ways of dreading and tried the Rip and Tear method. On August 4th of this year I uncombed my original dread and did it again. Sadly, it came out thinner due to some pulled out hair.. I planned on only keeping that one dread, but as one of my friends put,
"Dreads are addictive. Once you made one, you'll want to make more."
And he was right. On September 20th I created my second dread on my right temple. They are my two babies and they are the only dreads I have now.
I do plan on dreading my whole head. I just don't know how I would like to go about it. My hair is at mid back and I really want it to grow down to my butt. So I'm stuck with the decision of whether to dread all my hair now, let it grow then dread it, or continue going one by one. As of my maintenance, I was palm rolling them, but noticed it didn't help and after research and this site's Dreaducation, I've definitely decided to just leave them alone and let them do their own thing.