By Hans Miniar Jónsson, 2012-11-26
It is the natural inclination of the human being to be accommodating. To bend to the will of the environment, and in a way this is possibly one of the primary reasons the species has been so successful. Because we're so adaptable and eager to adapt.
However, this is also probably one of the primary obstacles to our happiness.
Let me explain.
We are not all just one environment, one surrounding, but a diverse cultural and geographical array of great diversity and our adaptability is not absolute. Instead, our adaptability appears to decrease with age, which is understandable to an extent. Once a habit has been reinforced for 20 years it becomes all that harder to break.
This creates a pattern where we spend our early years being molded and shaped by one environment only to leave it for another in adulthood and beyond that we find ourselves discovering that our environment is not static, it changes.
Yes, we are eager to bend to fulfill our place in our surroundings, but this gets harder with time, and even more difficult the more foreign our surroundings are to us.
And so, we find ourselves either trying to change the world around us against it's will, or we try to change ourselves against our own will. Neither are exercises that are likely tosucceedand so we reap nothing but anger, hostility, pain and resentment for our efforts.
By changing the world around us I do not mean the fight for freedom, I mean the fight to oppress. There's a difference between demanding that the world allow you to make up your own mind and demanding that the world agree with you.
When we inevitably find that we are unable to control the beliefs of others we seek out those who already agree with us, seekingsolaceand support in a smaller environment, a society within society. We do this in part because we are adaptable, and so our beliefs, feelings and ideals will always be fragile, changable with the environment we inhabit.
Sometimes we do this because we need somewhere where we are free of fear, but sometimes we do this because we need to find somewhere where we aren't demonstrably in the wrong.
The adaptability we have isn't patient and so exercising patience is often difficult. It can be seen as something that goes against our nature. But truly, I believe that patience is never the less essential in order for us to be able to find happiness in life,in spiteof our adaptability.
Our adaptability depends on freedom and harmony. The freedom to live in harmony with ourselves without detriment to our harmony with society. It's only when we have that freedom and that harmony that we can experience true joy.
And so, when society won't change to accommodate us we become frustrated and angry, and when we sacrifice our own harmony for sake of society we become depressed.
So where does independence factor in?
We, as a species, aredependenton one another for survival. No man is an island and no man can be. Our minds and bodies deteriorate without the support of ourpack-mates without human contact, and we can not hide from this reality of our nature.
But we have become too dependent on the thoughts and ideas of others. Too dependent on agreements. Too dependent on things that do not affect us, that aren't ours.
We carry the weight of the opinions of others upon our shoulders as if their opinions were our food and drink.
At times, the opinions of others can be a matter of life or death, for example when their opinion calls for our deaths, but in reality, most of the time, the opinions of others are not something that affects us so deeply, not unless we choose to make them affect us deeply.
Life is like one big classroom, and carrying the opinions and ideas of others on our shoulders, allowing them to weigh us down, is as if we are carrying the schoolbooks and schoolwork for all the other people
These things aren't ours. These things aren't ours to carry. These things aren't our responsibility, and yet we insist on carrying them upon our shoulders, even if these aren't even truly the right things. We assume and give opinions to others and then proceed to choose to weigh ourselves down with our own assumptions.
Independence, true independence, is to see, to know that what we are carrying isn't ours to carry. This realization allows us the freedom from the weight, should we choose to put it down.
It is in that moment when we claim our freedom to be in harmony with ourselves and in turn give openly the same freedom to others, because by realizing that our opinion isn't theirs to carry we stop trying to place it upon their shoulders. We free ourselves and we grant freedom.
And those that learn this do get asked how they found the strength to defy convention, how they found the courage to stand up and be themselves even if it meant being different, and the answer is simple.
We found the reason to let go of what wasn't ours to carry anyway.
And by spreading this word, we spread freedom.
Is there any greater gift?
By Jeremiah, 2012-11-26
Ive decided to freeform my locks, this is a journey that I will document on this dope site.....My hair has been growing one year and naturally goes into locks, so tonight i officially stop touching it and I will let nature take its course.
Samson had 7 locks......
By Marlee Batchelder, 2012-11-25
My hair is going crazy. It is SO absurd in the back. My dad commented on how rediculous it looks today. I simply told him that it was going to get "worse" beforeit gets better. What I didn't tell him was that it already *is* better. The "mess" of my hair is such an enjoyable wonder to me.
I'm still trying to figure out what the deal is with the thickness of my hair. I've split a few dreads that I think would be better as two.Since I don't have *super* think hair, I've decided that I'drather have numerous smallerdreads than a limited number of thinker ones. Now I justneed to figure out how thick/thin I want to go. I have another one or 2 that I think I want to split, but I'm not sure h much theyll thicken up or if it would just be fine to leave them as tthey are now?I don't know. It's been about 3 months now though since I've stopped brishing, so theyre really starting to lock up- I have to hurry up and mkake my decisions before they've locked up too much!
By Kristian Brooks, 2012-11-24
By Jonathan Farr, 2012-11-24
So i just started yesterday and my hair is not that long at all (2 inches barely) but why wait more time till it is long right?
Any way i am notexactlysure how often i should wash my hair. normally i shower everyday, but dont wash my hair. should i just wake up and go on certain days with my hair lookin crazy and no shower?
I have very curly hair that will probably dread fast. anyway tips and suggestions are great!
By calipark, 2012-11-23
blog sesh: natural dreadlocks are badass... keep your hair clean, cover it up when necessary and go on with your day.. wake up and marvel @ the total mess in the "reality" of a mirror.. week to week watch the matted mess sprout dreads... by 6 months your hair takes on its own character dread by dread.. by 1 year each dread has solid roots like a tree, and transforms on their own. the result of simply living your life and letting them do their thing -- becoming a reflection of that part of your life, more comprehensive than what a mirror could ever do. point being: you can do whatever you feel is right, and as long as it's something that produces results, you will find that patience and perseverance ALWAYS pays off. and you can ride each wave with that in mind until you get everything you want.
By ☮ soaring eagle ॐ, 2012-11-22
1: thou shalt wash thy dreads lest the wish to be stinky
2: though shalt not touch comb or brush to thy head wether thy combeth the forwards or backwards
3: thine dreads shalt be thine and not covedeth any others
4: dreads shalt be created by thine god not by thine stylist
5: thou shalt poketh holes in thine head and thine ears before thine dreads
6: thou shalt not seeketh to haveth perfect dreads for only the devine shal be perfect thou dreads shalt instead reflect the imperfect nature of thineself
7: if thou rusheth to be dreaded thou shalt reach thine dreads death
8: thou shaly learn the lesson of the dread and not try to teach thy dread how to be dreaded
9: to seeketh dreads is to seeketh thine own nature, to seeketh the dread look is to worship false idols
10: dreads are the result of a spiritual journey not of effort and expences money6changers shaly be cast out and stricken bald
i wrote this awhile ago in the designer patented dreads thread but just came across it today (didnt remember writting it) but thought it was worth reposting here
By Xephyre (Nae), 2012-11-22
By Diego F., 2012-11-22
Nearly six months and lots of things are happening to my hair now...
had to complete rip apart a congo on the back of my head some days ago...
and today i had to rip several dreads, including the ones of my fringe, and some of the sides, because there were hairs from one dread inside the other... now i'm with a lot of frizz, but the dreads are not harmed [the sections still together, and still tightening well]...
i don't care too much about the frizz, never cared, and never find it a problem... but hope that in time they will resettle themselves in their next neighboors or form new dreads with new growth...
Some of my sections and dreads are becoming tighter...And there are some that strangely are becoming loose [this is perfectly normal, right?], but i'm just enjoying the ride.
No more fears, i'm not too anxious like i had been for a long time of my journey.
I just have to thank everyone in this site for all the learning and support!
By Kerry Lee White, 2012-11-22
So, a week into this and I can honestly say, why did I not do this sooner? Oh yeah....because my job had a problem with people looking different. Well I've had good feedback from my friends, I doubt they're surprised by anything I do anymore but they like them ^.^ My mother still doesn't know :P
I went to town yesterday just for breakfast and a bit of shopping and there were a lot of starers o.O I'm not really a fan of any sort of attention lol, so kinda just avoided eye contact with the humans XD but mostly they seemed interested rather than disgusted. And no one moved away from me assuming I had smelly hair!
Well I had my first wash with Dr. Bronners and after trawling through this site I expected for it to fall out and kept telling myself not to panic. Funnily enough though they didn't....so I thought ok, maybe while I'm sleeping (I'm always on the move while I'm asleep!) but nope, so I'm just going to leave them be, stop putting a time frame on every step of the way and just see how things go.
My children are indifferent really....mummy does weird things, that's our mummy lol. They've not really said much at all only asking a few questions on how long will I grow them and can they be taken out etc. They're interested let's just put it that way.