By Kaitlynn Cassel, 2011-11-16
Okay so....my dreads are almost 3 weeks old, and i absolutely LOVE them. A few have come apart a little, but after reading what a lot of you say on here i trust that i don't have to worry. They'll fix themselves, by doing their own thing. There is only 1 section that i'm worried about, and that's a little area in the back that is a lot shorter than the rest of my hair from breakage before i dreaded it. I think i'm just gonna leave it alone and see if it dreads on its own, or at least let it grow out. But anyways I was just wondering if anybody had any little "secrets", advice, tips etc, that they would like to share. I researched a lot before i did them, and i'm very confident in them. But i'm always open for advice!!! It would be greatly appreciated!
By Aika, 2011-11-15
This blog post is basically to say how much I love all of you. Never in my life would I have thought that I could feel so connected and at home with people I have never met before. Sure, I only know everyone here by their online profile and the things they say or pictures they show, but tonight it hit me how much joy this community brings me. The love, support, guidance, and fellowship that this website promotes and hosts is unbelievable. I'm not a big fan for online social networks and things like facebook, but this is completely different. For example, I had to deactivate my facebook account because it was making me so depressed whenever I would surf through people's profiles and pictures and read my newsfeed. The whole atmosphere of facebook is like a huge popularity contest to showcase who has the most exciting life or best pictures, etc. and it puts me under pressure to try to stand out and be noticed and gain comments. I would waste hours just looking at other people's "lives" and feeling shitty about my own. But on here...it's the complete opposite. I come on here and I love to see everyone's journeys and all of the interesting discussions and blogs people share so freely and honestly. Just tonight I went on facebook after reactivating it last night, and I already started feeling anxious and insecure about myself. Then I came on dreadlockssite and was reminded of my individuality and how happy and lucky I am to be free to be my own person....not caring about what I don't have or what I'm not doing, etc.
Anyway, I really felt compelled to share with everyone how much I value all of your beauty, honesty, and companionship in my life. This is more than an online social network or forum...I'm not sure what to call it, but it's refreshing and inspiring. So thank you everyone for always sharing and supporting each other to make this a community of peace an love. And most of all, thank you Soaring Eagle for making it all happen. I hope you know how much you're appreciated and loved.
By KnottyPrincess, 2011-11-15
This is an update from my last blog. If you haven't read it, it's about my search for my biological father. My grandfather's wife has been helping me search for him and in my last blog, I said that she thought she had narrowed it down to two possibilities. Well, as of tonight, we believe we may have it narrowed down to one possibility. Now this doesn't mean that it's ABSOLUTELY him. It's not a sure thing. I called my adopted mom and asked her if she had any paperwork that he had signed when my parents adopted me. We were hoping to get a middle name or at least initial out of it, but he didn't sign with one. HOWEVER, she found the envelope with the address that they had mailed it to. It was his mother's old address. So, my bio-mom and I called my grandfather's wife and told her, and she said there is a man she found by that name living on the same street! I'm hoping and praying that it's him. I really hope he's either still there, or we can track him to his next address. I'm feeling a huge mixture of emotions right now. I'm excited about the possibility, but I'm also so afraid that I'll never find him, or he'll be dead... What if I do find him, and he doesn't want anything to do with me? My adopted mom and my biological mom keep telling me that they don't think that will be the case because he really loved me and he was a sweet and loving father. I am BEGGING God to help me find him. I just keep praying that this lead means something and that it leads to something positive. I'm trying so hard not to get my hopes up...but it's so hard not to. I will be so devastated if he turns up dead or we don't find him. But if we don't, I'll keep searching. If he's dead, I'll mourn, and then move on with my life.
By Sonja-Skye, 2011-11-13
IF WE ONLY HAD OUR RIGHTS FOR ANOTHER DAY.......
what would we do?
stop and breath the fresh air,
or waste it petulantly on technology and worrying about time?
IF WE ONLY HAD OUR RIGHTS FOR ANOTHER DAY.......
would we take into account that we are lucky, and that YES, there actually are more people out there who need their civil rights restored?
IF WE ONLY HAD OUR RIGHTS FOR ANOTHER DAY.......
would we really be so cruel and selfish just to think of ourselves and not worry about how many people are merely dying without a scrap of food, or even one little shred of dignity, OBVIOUSLY not how they would like to be remembered, but do we notice they don't have the choice?
IF WE ONLY HAD OUR RIGHTS FOR ANOTHER DAY.......
would we maybe stop all this foolishness, and realize that we aren't the only ones that live in this world, there are plenty of other life forms here too.
IF WE ONLY HAD OUR RIGHTS FOR ANOTHER DAY.......
would we really need to worry about money and the conformingly growing desire to possess it, own it, use it and store it?
what would we do with that money when we die? leave it to family members, or friends, why not pass it on since we'll have no use for it in the grand scheme of things!!!!
By KnottyPrincess, 2011-11-12
This is my first time ever writing a blog. I am usually really shy about sharing my writing with people for some reason, especially when it comes to writing about my life and feelings. I feel, however, that this is a place where I can share without fear, because everyone here is so positive and loving! Plus, I have great news that I want to share with everyone! So...here's my story.
When I was a baby, I lived with my biological parents for a few months, but then my biological mother went to prison for drug charges. (I know I get right to the point. haha) She called her ex-stepmother whom she had remained very close to over the years and asked her to get temporary custody of me. I guess she was afraid that my biological father, who was very loving, but also had problems, would take me and she'd never see me again. So as far as I was concerned from that time on, my biological mother's stepmother was my mom. When I turned five, I was legally adopted. From this point on. When I refer to my mom and dad, I will be referring to my ADOPTED parents.
I always knew I was adopted. I don't think I understood what that meant for a while, but as I grew older, it was just something I knew about myself. My life growing up was very happy. I lived in a small town in New Jersey (Yes those exist...New Jersey isn't all wall to wall apartment complexes. Ever hear of the Pine Barrens?) I grew up in a middle class, Christian home. I never needed anything, and I wanted for very little. I guess you can say I was a bit spoiled and very sheltered. I won't deny that. I love my adopted family as if they were blood. They have sacrificed so much for me, and I would sacrifice anything for them. We have a VERY strong bond.
My biological mom struggled with drug addiction for a very long time. She lived in Colorado, and we'd only be able to talk on the phone. She was in and out of my life throughout my entire childhood. My BEST memory of her growing up would be the time I went camping with her, my parents, and my biological grandfather in Moab, Utah. We spent the whole week giggling and hugging and sleeping under the stars (because really RV's are lame and we're way too cool for those..jkjk lol) We had the best conversations and time seemed endless. I never wanted my time with her to end. I wanted to live the rest of my life, with my adopted and biological family all in one happy place, sleeping under the stars.
My biological mom continued to struggle with her addiction for a few more years. I'd pray for her every night before bed, but nothing ever seemed to happen. She never called me, and no one in my family knew where she was. I couldn't understand why she wasn't in my life anymore. Eventually I made myself forget about her because I didn't want to think about it anymore and just forgetting was a lot easier. When I was in my pre-teens, she went to prison again. By this time, I was so angry at her. (I was starting puberty though, so I guess I was angry at everyone and everything.) I just didn't understand why she couldn't just pick me over drugs. Why were drugs so much more important than me? I used to get letters from her, and I'd respond to some, but most I just kept in a box because I felt like I had nothing to say to her. I had virtually given up on her.
With her back in my life in the form of letters, it made me start thinking about my adoption and this is about when I began to understand what it meant. I started to think about my biological father and I wondered who he was, where he was and why he wasn't in my life. I have absolutely no memory of him. So I started asking my adopted parents. My mom told me that he was a very sweet dad and that he really loved and cared about me, however he struggled as well. I wished he could be in my life, however I thought it could never be possible, so I just pushed it aside and forgot about it.
When I was in High School, my biological mom went into a drug program, and eventually got out and continued an outpatient program. I heard from her a lot. She'd call me often and we'd have long talks. I let go of my previous anger. I understood by that time, that drug addiction is a very difficult thing to overcome and loved her for pushing through and fighting her addiction. She has now been clean and sober for almost a decade! Anyway, the more I spoke to her, the more the thoughts of my biological father returned. I wanted to find him, so I began searching on the internet. His name is a VERY common German name however, and I didn't know anything else about him. I would spend hours typing in searches, and checking different social networking sites. I thought it'd never happen so I just pushed it aside, but as always, it lay there, dormant.
Now, let's get to the present. I'm 22 years old now, and my 17 year old sister, who was raised by her aunt on her father's side had already moved out to Colorado with our mother. In early October, my biological mother called me and asked me if I'd move out too, to help with her business. The business was not her only reason for asking me to come out. She also really wanted to re-connect with me and have a real-life relationship with me rather than an over the phone one. So...two weeks later, I moved to Colorado. When I got here, one of the first days, we wound up talking about my father, and I expressed my desire to find him. She explained to me that my grandfather's wife is VERY good at finding people, so we called her and gave her as much information as we could (which isn't very much!) I figured it was worth a shot, but doubted we'd get much out of it. Afterall, my internet searches never seemed to get me anywhere.
It's been a few weeks since we had that conversation with my grandfather's wife. Though my mind would occasionally touch the idea of finding my father, I shy'd away from thinking about it. Yes, I know, I have a bad habit of dealing with everything by pushing it aside. haha Anyway...My biological mom and I were outside smoking a cigarette tonight, and she told me that my grandfather's wife thinks she has it narrowed down to TWO PEOPLE! In all my searching, I never got remotely close to that! Even though it's not a 100% sure thing, for the first time in my life, I am SO CLOSE to finding my father and hopefully talking to him! For the first time, I have HOPE of finding him at all. I can't even begin to describe how I feel. I'm in shock, and I'm excited. At the same time, however, I'm so scared that neither of these men will be my father. My BIGGEST fear that goes along with that, is that he's dead. I'm hoping and praying that he is one of the two men that my grandpa's wife found because if it's not, I will be so heartbroken and devastated, BUT I won't give up. From now on, I will keep trying. I realize now, that no matter how hopeless or far away something seems, it's a lot closer than we really think.
Peace and Love <3
By Cathy Givans, 2011-11-12
I am almost two full weeks into my dread journey and I am so in love with my natural dreads. I have found freedom through this method of dreading instead of the confinement of the constant maintenance I felt I needed to do on my tnr dreads. I love watching the new daily habits of my hair and even though the back looks like a great big fuzz ball, I am definitely noticing some sections. I do have a lot of little sections that I worry won't be big enough but I am surrendering control to nature. There are some bigger sections and even some definite knotting going on. I have experimented with beads a bit, but am afraid to put too many in because I don't want to disrupt nature's course by creating sections that might not have been created had I left my hair alone.
The biggest and most exciting news is the arrival of my organic dread bars. I ordered two - the Nag Champa and the Dragon's Blood. I must admit, the Nag Champa definitely appeals to me more, but they both are great. I was so excited when I got the package that I sniffed only about two seconds and then commenced with ripping into the box. Luckily, I was due for a wash, so I promptly headed to the shower and enjoyed the wonderful smell and feel. I did notice that before I did my ACV that there was a residue feel and I started to worry, (I have had tons of issues with residue because I have such hard water and obstinate hair) but as soon as I did my ACV, all residue was gone. I noticed that the shampoo bar did something very different and amazing to my hair. In just one wash, it looks healthier than it has been in forever and its natural curl is back. The feel of my hair is definitely softer but it also seems that I can feel the knotting better as well.
Overall, I am so glad to be on this journey. It is a journey that I never would have imagined for myself and outside of the community here, I haven't disclosed it to anyone. It is private. It is reflective. It is soulful. It is mine and by not sharing my journey with the world, it has already been more personal and more significant in the bigger journey of my life.
By Panga, 2011-11-11
My hubby's grandma (Honey) is very outspoken on her opinions, no matter what the conditions are. Since I started this journey, she has been against it and has said some pretty stupid/ignorant/harsh things. I have tried to ignore her, but have struggled with it. I have been told by my hubby that its just better to ignore than to discuss or argue on most topics.
Honey has said many times she doesn't understand why I would do this to my hair (even though I've told her in length about why I'm doing it). She says things that I allow to bother me. I shouldn't care about what she says, but sometimes its hard. The main thing I want is her to just drop it and mind her own business. But telling her that hasn't worked.
Just a few days ago I was picking my daughter up at her house and we were talking about my munchkins hair. Her hair is super curly and wavy. Honey was saying how when she was younger she wished she had hair like my kiddo's but she had long straight auburn hair and had such trouble trying to think of things to do with it. Then she made a few comments about how the color of her hair was what mine used to be like, before I did this to my hair...That my hair looks "dead" and has lost the pretty color. That mine also smells horrible. But now she wants to know what the hell I put in it to make it smell so bad. That my hair used to be so beautiful and now I've ruined it.
That set me off. I was so furious she would say this to me (and in the company of my 4 year old). I tried my best to stay calm and said that my hair is the same color it has always been, that my hair doesn't smell, my hair isn't "ruined" and most important that I think I am beautiful so that's all that matters.
And she shut up. End of conversation. I left the house with my daughter about 5 minutes later (my daughter was pulling on my arm trying to leave).
The only thing I was concerned about was the smell. That bugged me. Did my hair really smell? Here I was telling her it didn't, but what if it did? I don't want my hair to make people think that all dreadlocks are smelly and give them proof! I've since asked my co-workers and my hubby about the smell. They say they can't smell anything. And yes, I had a few of them come up to my head and take a big sniff of my locks, which was kinda awkward but no one complained!
Long ass rant later, my pride in my dreads is stronger. I love the journey I'm on. I wake up every morning feeling the crazy new additions/changes. And man, that felt good. To just say "I am beautiful" and believe it. I honestly don't think I could have done so prior to dreads. I am only 4 or so months into this, but I have grown more confidence than I have done so in years. If she brings up my dreads again, I'll just tell her exactly what I think : I am beautiful inside and out.
By kye, 2011-11-11
Yo, Like I feel interest with online forum participation. Too bad I cannot afford highspeed up to date internet series: what i would like to do as a member on this frum is not available. Im writting this blog to say I have been Dreading As a Life style.
To me dread locks " dread " is awesome. See i feel as my dreads mature it reflects My etheral and physical growth metaphysically and spiritualy. Of course The Lock " lock " Lockin in on the sorcery of my surroundings. Condensing my aural physique into my Growth. Live Love Life prosperity interested with open eys.
By Dizzie Devil, 2011-11-10
A woman with an idea for a lifestyle change, armed with a metal flea comb and determination, can be a dangerous combination. With that said and out of the way, i'm sure you have come to the conclusion that this "woman" is me! Ha
A flee comb? Really lady? ummmm yes, afraid so. I was so stuck in the same rut as many American woman are, of wrongfully believing that everything should be uniform and sleek to be beautiful. This is a result of constant brainwashing by the media, billboards,commercials,magazines,reality TV! Ahhhhhh Enough already! So I took my flee comb and bar stool to my bathroom and began what I thought was the right beginning to my "Great Dreadlock Journey"
Journey? You say? Armed with a comb, no no, a flee comb? Wowza. What was I thinking? Oh, right, beautiful locks that all look the same and are tidy and neat! Shhhhhhhhhut your mouth! I'm not finished...lol SO I look myself in the eyes and say, "lets do this" I had read online somewhere, no wait, I had seen on youtube that this girl and her mother dreaded her hair one day in 8 hours. Wow, 8 hours huh? Now if you will know anything about me it is this....I pick up things in a heartbeat and am more than proficient at it if not from the very start, then soon there after. So im thinking, Hell, I can do this myself in 8, NO PROBLEM!! Boy, was I mistaken!!! So three days and probly about 18-21 hours cumulatively, I finish. Which, if you have looked at my few pics (sorry not more) you will see how, armed with a comb of the flee variety, determination and a lot of brain washing, they came out lovely!
I am so used to fixing my hair and it having to be so nice and not a hair out of place that I looked all over online to figure out and learn how to "tidy those locks" All the nerotic twisting and pulling and finger rolling and possible crocheting, I say possible cuz and thank goddess for it too, I couldn't get it right. So after trying all that and some "Knotty Boy" products, I wasnt satisfied. So what now you say? I look for more product! Guess who I find??? Oh yes, you guessed it, Dreadhead HQ!! Now this is, what I now know to be, just another corporate POS company, out for blood! ooops, I mean money! Selling you on the idea that you need all this stuff to be beautiful! Sound familiar? Just like all the rest of the corporate America media....UGH! I bought it too, silly me. What saved me? My awesome fiance, Lucky! He found your site, SE, and told me to read your "Dreaducation" piece, and this big beautiful bright light went off in my head! I immediately cancelled my order for above mentioned companies hair poisons, wait scratch that, I tried to. I called and got a recording that refered me back to my conformation email and to reply back to it for any disputes. Aaaaahahaha MAN, was I dooped!
All is well now. Armed now with a full set of pretty locks and Mr. Soaring Eagles knowledge, I am a new woman. I stripped my hair of buildup using his baking soda cleanser, which I infused with a pomegranate raspberry green tea, most for the wonderful scent, and I didnt have lavender and rosemary yet, and added 10 drops of teatree oil. My once itchy, flaky, screaming foe mercy scalp, is wonderfully invigorated and lighter and softer and smelling...."so fresh and so clean, clean" haha I used rice vinegar cuz I didn't have ACV, it works just fine for now. Seriously SE, I love you man! You saved me from corporate dreadlock suicide!! My tam is off to you, sir!! Now I have locks of love!!
Loving my newly soft locks, and feeling free!!
By ashr, 2011-11-10
SHE'S OK AGAIN !!!!
She hadVasculitis in her brain, but it's been sorted out and she's on the road to recovery.
So happy !
Thank you for all your thoughts.