By fire dancer, 2014-03-25
Six months before my 30th birthday, I decided I was going to quit smoking. In order for my insurance to pay for Chantix, I had to attend smoking cessation classes. This was the beginning of the rest of my life. In these classes we were taught about changing our language. Instead of I NEED a cigarette, it was to become I WANT a cigarette. Instead of I WANT a cigarette but I CANT, it was to become I CAN have a cigarette, but I dont WANT one. We were also supposed to develop a mantra, something to chant to help us through a craving. Mine was on the generic basis of I think, therefore I am. With that in mind I came up with simply saying, I do not want a cigarette over and over in my head until the craving passed. I had my last cigarette on September 28th 2010. I translated this into other aspects of my life.
I used to spend hours in front of a mirror and in salons, thousands of dollars on cosmetics and clothes. I was obsessed with looking beautiful, attempting to recreate the images in magazines and television. This put my self-esteem at a major low. How was I to know I was beautiful? I was consumed by what other people thought of me. My husband told me everyday he thought I was beautiful, but this didnt count; he was supposed to think that. I had children and my body changed and he still told me how beautiful I was to him. That wasnt enough for me. I wanted to be beautiful to EVERYONE, and how could I with all of these stretch marks, this loose skin, freckles, frizzy hair, puffy eyes, pale skinthe list went on and on in my head, the list of all the things wrong with me. Then it dawned on me, I think, therefor I am. I was constantly thinking about all of the things that were wrong with me, so I only saw those things. When I would start to spiral into that thought process, just like when I would crave a cigarette, I would chant to myself over and over in my head, I am beautiful. After a couple of months I gained confidence, I lost weight, my skin cleared up so I was wearing less make-upso my skin was healthier. I was actually becoming more beautiful. The final push was 2 years ago. I had always admired women with dreadlocks, the confidence they showed and the beauty they embraced. A beauty outside of the normal conventions I used to be so obsessed with. After a little research, a huge show of support from my husband, and a whole lot of excitement, I decided to go for it. Through the process of allowing my hair to dread naturally, I have learned patience and to care a whole lot less about what others think of me. I am happy, I am healthy, and I am beautiful.
By Rheana Hayes, 2014-03-24
.....to never wear a hat to cover my natural dreads for the sake of not being looked at funny in public.
By Amy Wilbur, 2014-03-24
If you can't see the ingredients, they are water, organic coconut oil, potassium hydroxide (because it's liquid) organic olive oil, lavandin extract, organic deal hemp fun, organic jojoba oil, lavendar extract, citric acid, tocopherol.
Got it at a local organic harvest market for $6 and some change. It's fair trade, as you can see, meaning all the ingredients are from other countries and they were paid fairly for them.
There are no foaming agents, which means no suds and I can actually use it as a body wash as well.
I washed my hair about 2 days ago so I have to wait one more day to use this but I CANNOT WAIT! I absolutely love the scent of lavender and cannot wait to see how well this will work in helping my hair dread naturally.
I know soaring eagle suggested something else for me, but I'd rather choose something that's local and support my economic area!
By Rheana Hayes, 2014-03-24
It's been five days since I freed my hair. Seeing it's length and assuming it's quality, I quickly decided that my hair was going to be the kind of hair that would fight locking, slip and slide, wake up straight and smooth for six months. I'm relieved to say that I think I was wrong in my assumptions.
I am like an over eager rabbit, which disturbs me slightly. I have thrown myself into reading everything I can on this site and thinking constantly (though very happily) about the "process" of ALLOWING my hair to be natural. This is a contradictory concept. Process...of allowing... something to be natural. It's only a process to the psyche that has to release control... It's only a process of nature, and only a process to ourselves because we have strayed so far from releasing to nature. So I'm not going through a process... the universe is. All I am doing is releasing my egoic sense of being able to control life through the reflection of letting my hair go free. So the fact that I am an overeager rabbit, wanting to know how I can do this faster or that faster... I know it's completely going against the whole point. The point is letting go and letting God... and I just find my mind doesn't want to. Shrug. That will be changing as I walk my path.
One thing that has coincided with this decision is that I'm going back to therapy today for the first time since I moved to a new state. I moved back in November and it is now March. I was in counseling and treatment for a year prior to the move, for bipolar disorder among many other weird little psychological issues and insecurities. The biggest problem I have had in my life has been that I am too hard on myself. When I hear that spoken aloud it doesn't ring right with the ears, as though I'm afraid that statement will be judged by you, the reader, as a cop out for a biggest problem. (erase erase erase that thought real quick.....Om Mani Padme Hum!)
The truth is, I haven't loved myself properly... therefore can't believe that I am loved by others. I have beat my psyche to a bloody pulp for many years, and over the last year after a huge breakdown, I found that I could... that I did have the power to get on the other side of this wall I've been building for so long.
Another issue I have is that I am a powerful empath and very affected by the energies around me. I am an energy worker and have so much information... but I haven't been doing the WORK. The meditation daily, the grounding, shielding, cleaning, strengthening of the chakras, blessing, chanting, praying, writing, being outside... Feeding my self. My self is starving and my mind is a glutton. I'm a sucker for mental stimulation, and obsession fits comfortably in my mind. I really want to find that the choice I have made about hair will actually improve the quality of my life, and improve the strength of my spirit and my energy.
I have read on and on about the natural hair of mystics, warriors, gurus, and psychics, and am hoping for a big "Wow!" experience. Which is, as I stated earlier about the hair "process," completely against the point. I am a Shaman and I do seek the source of the universe through "spiritual ecstasies." I have had spiritual ecstasies and peaks through healing modes, intense meditation, extreme traumas, and drug experiences. I'm seeing that locks are not about a spiritual ecstasy. They are not anything about instant gratification or a rush of magic. They are the magic of the every day, and of allowing life to unwinds timelessly. They are not about WAITING. They are about HAPPENING.
So this is Day 5. My first day back to therapy. My fifth day obsessing mentally on absorbing everything I can about locks. My sixth day of a hypomanic state. An unnumbered day of trying not to go against the grain.
But let's forget time for just a little while. Let's just... let life happen... right now.
By Amy Wilbur, 2014-03-21
I just started my dreads, I'm Caucasian with thick brown hair.I've been doing it in sections, my hands get ridiculously tired :/ gotta take a break. I've been using the twist and rip method.
but my question is: is it better to leave them down, leave them in a pony tail, or a messy bun - or does it matter?
When I get my whole head done I'll put a picture up But I'm so excited about dreading my hair, I can't wait to see how they turn out.
By Meeoko, 2014-03-20
Man! So I know I haven't really been keeping on top of photographing my progress and stuff but now that I've just done it and had a nosey at what all of my dreads are doing in more depth I can't believe how busy they've been! I mean seriously! They're all zigging and zagging and looping and doing all sorts of cool, awesome shit!
So this is the three month mark of my dreads now using the neglect method.
I can't wait to see how these all turn out! Really hoping to get more on top of my salt washes now so that things can start to tighten up and I can be a bit more adventurous with beads (won't be trying wraps for quite some time as I'm pretty sure my hairy darling will eat nearly anything I put near them).
Here's the underside:
This might also give you some idea as to the extreme levels of frizz going on up in there atm:
But best of all are some of the individual things my dreads are doing. What started off as fairly small zig-zags, lumps and bumps have now evolved into something completely different and my dreads are taking awesome squiggly wild dreaddiness to a whole new level! Check it out! Seriously, what is that? It's my favourite dread - makes me think of a treble clef! <3
So yeah, very happy with dread progress at the moment, though I must admit I haven't been keeping up with the salt washes so much so frizz and dandruff are still reigning supreme atm.
But regardless, I'm really pleased with the way my dreads are forming and even more so because last night I showed my grandfather them for the first time. He's my favourite person in the whole world and at first I thought he would disapprove as he didn't like my last set of twist n rip dreads, but instead he gave me a beaming smile and said that he loved how wild it made me look! So that's given me a huge ego boost!
Roll on month number four baby! :D
By ☮ soaring eagle ॐ, 2014-03-17
Members from Russia and Ukraine lets talk about this war threat. War isn't personal, its political, so lets discuss this on a personal level, from your perspective.
I don't want to talk about world opinions, but your thoughts, fears, and insights.
By Owl Lady, 2014-03-16
It has been a long time since my son has had his hair cut. He is 14 years old and a bit OCD about who cuts his hair. He has been seeing the same hair dresser for the past 6 years. His hair was so long I kept asking him if he was going to dread his hair with me however he was not up for that. So last night I brought him to his favorite hair dresser. I really love her, she is so patient with my son and they both crack me up as I listen to their conversations and especially my son's dry British humor. Any ways, she was the first person that said something about my hair and the first person I felt I had to educate. I myself do not even know everything about dreads but I do know from what other people have said to stay away from wax. She told me that I should have back combed and used wax to keep the frizz down...but I honestly don't care about the frizz.
She then went on to tell me a horror story about her brother in law's dreads and how he had went on a camping trip, he returned to having to cut his dreads off because he got lady bugs infested in them. She said that when she cut them they smelled and had dead skin in them and were just super nasty. As horrible as the story was I did not tremble I held my head high and thought to myself as horrible as that is for him that will not be me. hahaha It was weird however to be kinda put down by someone who had thinning hair from over dying. That although it was a hair salon and they should care about your hair they did not care about it entirely because blow drying, flat irons and the use of chemicals in it is not good either! As the woman next to me was spraying the crap outa her hair with hair spray making me gag it put things in prospective that I was different. The hairdresser talked me into buying my son some hair gel for his new do and since it was not tested on animals I gave in, she then joked about now I will have to compete for bathroom time now that my son will be doing his hair. I reminded her I am lowmaintenance....and thank God! That whole experience was really an eye opener for me. Although I support my son having free will to make his own choices I do try to push my views on him a little but he is young and I have faith he will learn. I am thankful I am not a high maintenance person and I look forward to defending my dreads
By Owl Lady, 2014-03-15
So the nightly conversation with my son is about God and other religions (which came up because of our visits from Jehovah witnesses) I tried explaining in my own way the discrepancies of religions which mind you made him more confusedso I ended the conversation with God is all love and wants us to love everyone. He then responds So God is a Hippie LOL my kid cracks me up!
By Owl Lady, 2014-03-15
The Sea brought forth;
a seed within me
placid by the rushing waves
still like the rocks that rest in her path all of their days
along a sand filled shore
I feel the life that moves in me a little more
her glory, her love
her pain, and her rage
yet she will become sacred again today.
All that lives within her needs
creatures from above praise her,
And still she is the greatest mystery.
Her calming voice whispers secrets to me
The Spirit who made her has made me..
The voice becomes prominent as she pulls back
words spoken without a sound
my love I have found
you properate me and make me whole.
A thousand words cannot cover these shores
I am non existent as I face the Sea
She has a power over me
I look at her amongst all her glory
She stares back at me;
Who are you? Let go of your worries!
she proclaims linguistic form to me
you cannot buy peace or solitude it is a cardinal virtue.
My mind wonders off as I think about that thought
It is then that I am brought where the pathway marks the spot
in his arms I move along
shaped by the roots of time
awakened by the dreams that dance in my mind
I am becoming what I set out to be
I realise then that honesty flows deep from my seed
spinning in and out of me
sweet surrender has found his way to me
though the path we walk upon is shaded by the many trees
I feel protection over me
vigorously he walks beside of me
his voice sings love to me
It is now that I have come upon all that was created for me