By Athena G, 2014-04-11
My grandfather(73) passed suddenly on Saturday (4/5/14). This leaves my grandmother(66) alone with three dogs and two cats. She has had multiple health issues her entire life, cannot drive, and has to move around with a cane, but she falls quite frequently. Obviously, I want to do whatever I can to help her during this difficult time.
Having said that, she is a blatant racist, republican (everything is Obama's fault republican), and likes bringing up all the people she has struck as a result of irritating her. And since I am single, living at home, and not tied down by babies, I have been selected to move in with her. I say selected, because this was decided without even asking me how I felt about it. I thought I would be able to find a different solution, mainly because I have lived with her before (before my grandfather passed) and they made it painfully clear they didn't want me there.
But yesterday, while everyone was sobbing and paying their respects at the casket, she asked me if I would be moving in. I never had a choice, and in that moment I couldn't say no. I do want to help her, and I understand WHY I am the perfect (and really only) candidate to move in, but I was never consulted, and they told her before I could even make a decision.
In the midst of not knowing how to handle the passing of my grandfather's death' I'm harboring resentment towards my family. I'm 24, and single for the first time in 10 years. I wanted to start my life this summer, and instead I'll be confined in a home with a bitter old woman whom I have NOTHING in common with other than genetics. That's harsh, but I'm taking a moment to be selfish. I can either become the asshole of the family or become a caged bird. I'm mostly upset that they asked me after they confirmed it, and when I tried to find other alternatives they were shocked, and upon confronting them, they agreed they did it behind my back because there are no other options. "RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!"
I've suggested the alert pendants and care-givers, but those ideas have been rejected.
So I'm asking this dready community for advice.
By Rheana Hayes, 2014-04-10
I have to say that my hair looks messier and closer to dreading in the few pictures I put up during that first week than it does now. The good news is that I have stopped thinking about it. I suppose I will take a picture at around a month just to see if there is any more progress, but right now there isn't much forward movement to show. I have kept up with my spiritual treatments a bit, communing with my hair as an intuitive tool... asking it for good dreams... meditating on the sensation of my hair and scalp, and giving it some Reiki love from time to time. I got my wool hat in the mail finally and I suppose it could be helping a bit. It sleeps good, doubling as an eye mask and staying on my head all night. I have a hard time keeping my hands out of my hair, wanting to tuck it behind my ears and trying to tuck it into the tam. I have longer hair for the first time in many years so it can be irritating feeling it tickle and poke at my shoulders. I try to let the jets in my bathtub form some knots, but they seem to fall out the next day. I'm only salt spraying a couple hours before washing, washing every three days. I'm using the Baking Soda wash now with Dr. Bronners as my standard body soap and bath soak. I think the texture of the baking soda might help the locking minimally. I had strung some shell beads through my hair for a few days, but the shells themselves seem to be shaped like tiny combs. First they broke the hair as if I had backcombed, soon they wanted to slide right out, and finally I let them, seeing that the shape of the shells might be preventing matting after all. Any separations in my hair are too thin to hold a 6mm bead. I opted out of wrapping this early. I wanna make sure I'm doing everything I can to promote the matting process, but it's not in my hands, it's just something that has to do itself. Meanwhile, I forget that my hair is a mess when I go out in public... I carry my head a bit higher as well... as if to say, "No.. I don't brush my hair, and, No, I don't think there's anything wrong with it." I can't say that I haven't been thinking about going through a day of twist and rip or back combing... It's tempting when you have been weeks without brushing and see no change. But then I just remember that man made locks don't lock. If I put my healthy hair through hell by literally ripping it up, it's only going to end in half ass "locks" that will fall apart on me in no time. I have spent three years getting my hair past my shoulders and there's no way I'm going to mutilate it for a hairstyle. I learned after coming to this site and contemplating for a bit that this whole thing isn't about a hairstyle after all. It's about something much less shallow. For now, I'm no longer counting. I can't tell you the number of days of my journey. In a moment, I will check my photos and I will find out how long it's been. If it's been a month, I'll take some pictures. Otherwise, I will quickly dismiss the silly numerical quantification of "dreading," and resume the perspective of simply letting go and letting flow. That's not to say I won't be putting in effort. The spiritual stuff, the salt spray, the wool tam, the baking soda, and with luck some helpful beads.. any other tips or tricks are welcomed and will be put to good use. I will keep doing what I can to encourage, but a big part of doing what I can is forgetting. What I can do is forget. What I can do is no longer count.
By DreadfulWishes, 2014-04-06
Sorry I don't have any pics, but suffice to say that most of may babies are coming along pretty well while others have fallen out completely....
I've continued the baking soda/acv rinse routine - which I love! My hair feels soft and healthy, is very shiny, and has never curled more in my life! Even if I don't stick with dreads forever like I want to, this will probably be a staple for me anyway.
It's just a little frustrating because I feel like things are happening unevenly. I'm a fixer by nature, and seeing some of them stick really well and others go back to simply being curls makes it a bit difficult for me to keep my hands off of them. It's happening particularly right behind my ears. Evereywhere else seems to be doing fine other than some smaller loose strands that I'm trying to encourage back into the more solid dreads. I'm really worried about accidentally running my fingers through the ones that have completely fallen out and pulling them apart even more. Any suggestions on how to avoid this? Or is it just a habit that needs to form?
Also - sometimes after showering, or even at random times during the day, I'll pull my hair off of my shoulders or something similar and somehow pull like 10 or more hairs loose at the same time. Sometimes there are also partially loose hairs that stick out 3 and 4 inches from the bottom of my dreads. In these situations would it be better to cut off the loose hair where the other hair stops? Leave it? Pull them out? I feel like this is probably contributing to some of them coming loose because I must be pulling out some of the structure of the dreads.....
Everything outside of that seems to be moving along alright! I'll take some pictures soon so I can have references to what I'm actually talking about
Love and Peace -
By b foreal man, 2014-04-04
HELD WITHIN A VACANT SPACE WITH EYES TO SIGHT THINGS, AND WITH ALL MY SIGHTINGS IVE LEARNED THINGS LIKE HOW TO PROTECT MYSELF AND HOW TO SURVIVE WITH THE RIGHT NUTRITION'S. CURIOSITY OF MY SURROUNDINGS INFLUENCED MY LEARNING OF WALKING AND I BECAME INTERESTED IN THE THINGS THAT STUMBLED UPON SUCH AS THE FRONT DOOR THAT LED TO THE PORCH THAT LED TO THE STREETS WHICH LED TO PHILLIE WRAPPERS AND 40 OUNCES AND ALL THE WAY TO NEEDLES WHICH YOU SEE ON THE GROUND...IM NOT REALLY SURE WHEN I FIRST ALLOWED SO MANY OTHER EYES AROUND ME I JUST KNOW THAT I WAS MORE COMFORTABLE WITH THEM THERE. AS TIME PASSED A CLOSE SET OF EYES TURNED INTO A PAIR OF X'S ( X_X) AND MONTH LATER THE REST GREW REFLECTIONS OF PRISON BARS. DURING MY SOLITUDE I HEARD A QUIET VOICE SAY UNTO ME "ITS TIME FOR UNDERSTANDING" AN UNDERSTANDING THAT THIS VERY VACANT SPACE WHICH WE ARE ALL PLACED INSIDE OF IS ACTUALLY THE TEMPLE OF GOD AND WE ARE NOT TO HARM IT. (FOR WHOSO DESTROYETH THE TEMPLE OF GOD; GOD WILL DESTROY THEM) AND I CRIED UNTO GOD FOR FORGIVENESS AND PRAYED FOR GOD TO BLESS ME WITH A CORRESPONDING TEMPLE WHO ALSO BELIEVES. AN EXACT YEAR LATER.. I FOUND HER.. SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL! AND TAUGHT ME THAT LOVE COVERS A MULTITUDE OF SINS AND I LOVED HER SO VERY MUCH. I PRAISED GOD FOR ANSWERING MY PRAYERS ON TIME. WE PRAISED GOD TOGETHER AND HELD EACH OTHER TIGHT FOR TWO YEARS STRAIGHT ONLY TO LET A SMALL GAP IN BETWEEN FOR OUR MINI TEMPLE WHICH WE BUILT TOGETHER.AND GOD BLESSED US WITH. BACK TO THE UNDERSTANDING THAT GOD PLACED IN ME TO SHARE TO MY FAMILY AND BEYOND...
TO LIVE HOLY IS IDEAL BUT NO TEMPLE IS PERFECT BUT IT IS OUR MISSION TO TRY. IT IS OUR MISSION TO FIND OUR OWN WAY THEREFORE THERE SHALL BE NO PROGRAMMED MINDS! RESEARCH YOUR BELIEFS IN YOUR HEART TO ULTIMATELY KNOW. SPREAD PEACE AND LOVE TO ONE ANOTHER, STAY PATIENT AND HUMBLE UPON YOUR JOURNEY AND REPENT FROM SINS COMMITTED BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY REMEMBER GOD LOVES US ALL NO MATTER WHAT...
PRAISES TO THE MOST HIGH
-BRANDON FOWLER 4-4-14
By Brittany Goeden, 2014-04-04
Well, I am on the first day of naturally growing dreads. So now thinking more after reading so much, how long exactly should I wait to wash my hair again? And exactly what kind of shampoo is going to be best for this process. I don't want to use something that's going to be bad for my dreads etc. Btw I just got the pic uploader to work for me. You can see how much hair im going to be working with! This is going to be so much fun. Not only that but a completely new life for me I am so ready for this journey.
By Cayla Phillips, 2014-04-01
So my Husband and I live right outside of a USMC base (he's in the USMC) And I find that going on base or even meeting other females for friendships is awful! I've been here 2 months and I made 2 friends (before I dreaded) and only 1 of them will still hang out with me on a daily basis. I've learned to ignore the up and down looks of people who just don't understand me. But I'm tired of not having any friends to talk to or go out with. I left behind my family and friends and I just want some dread friendly people in my life! The other wives are ferocious and always so against each other which is why I can't seem to find a good decent person to interact with except for 1! We're in the desert, someone just come and be friends with me <3 Hoop loving is a plus! (They don't understand that either)
By b foreal man, 2014-04-01
By Owl Lady, 2014-03-30
My boyfriend and myself were in our back yard admiring fire flies, this is when we walked over to a path we have leading to our chicken coop; my boyfriend noticed in the sky what he thought to be planes. About 100 feet from where we stood we saw 3 red bright lights round in shape. There were two red lights that were clearly separate objects following closely to a much larger object. It flew closer approximately 50 feet above us very fast. When it was above the tree tops we could see them in an opening of the trees. I saw a triangular shaped flying object with a haze around it very large in size with red lights, two separate objects trailing behind it, both were red lights moving in their own paths. The two red lights were flying behind it never beside it. The 3 objects hovered slowly over the tree tops towards the north silently as they flew over our pond we could not see them because of the trees.
This is the account I wrote to report to MUFON. However because they wanted only the facts I could not express everything that I felt during this sighting. For one I had my camera in my hand and because I was so shaken up I was fumbling around with the buttons. I could not seem to focus my camera because it was so dark out and I didnt want to miss what was going on with my eyes. So I stayed focused and tried to video record what was happening but in the end I just got a black video with the sound. I was really upset about this later because that is usually the first thing people ask; Did you get a picture?
Anyways, There was alot of confusion as to what I was seeing. My mind was trying to comprehend something that it had never seen before. Once we knew we were in fact looking at something that was not of this Earth Damon started to get excited and started calling it over to him. Just as it had come closer when I thought * What is that?* It went away when I thought about my son being in the house and with panic yelled *Dont bring it over here!* There was something telepathic going on. We only saw it for maybe a minute and then it slowly hovered above the trees and to the north. I was pumped with adrenaline and the first person I called was my daughter, my father was next. I posted a Facebook status with out thinking what people were really going to think and say, I just wanted to share what a rare and amazing thing that had just happened. I stayed up that night until 2am just in complete shock. The next day I researched almost all day images of military aircraft. I even wrote a letter to the local paper in hopes someone would debunk my story and say oh military was in the area that night but nothing. I was left with lots of questions. I felt like I was really alone emotionally even though Damon had seen it too, I broke down and cried.
I did correspond with Tadd Buffington from MUFON and a senior engineer for Nasa. We started corresponding in July when I gave him a detailed phone account. By August it was ruled a unknown case. Here is the email he sent me.
Your sighting is pretty remarkable. It is classified as an Unknown as the official investigation showed no aircraft, balloons, or other devices were in the area.
Beams of light emitted Three bright lights (one at each point) Large size Ability to hover Ability to make flat turns Silent flight Slow speed Low-altitude flight Sharp turns at high speed Rapid acceleration Colored (glowing) underside Erratic movement Blunt-end-forward movement Detachable lights/objects Shape-shifting Superstructure observed
By b foreal man, 2014-03-27
By Meeoko, 2014-03-25
So I've been wanting to dye my dreads for some time now after seeing some beautiful pics on here of people with odd locks or the tips of their locks dyed and thought seeing as my hair is the next shade down from black that a light colour on the tip would look really gorgeous.
I've been holding off on doing anything particularly to my dreads as they're only just approaching the four month mark and although they've done really well, I didn't want to do anything to hinder or upset the locking process.In the end though temptation won over and after researching a few 'dread dye' related Youtube vids I settled on the idea of just doing the tips (my locks aren't prominent enough yet to dye whole individual ones).
So, grabbed myself a bottle of Peroxcide and some BBlonde bleach stuff and applied it. This was me before the dye went on:
And after chucking the dye on for an hour, I washed it out and realised that it hadn't quite gone the blonde I had expected but because I hadn't put enough dye on my dreads it had instead gone a tint of ginger!
But you know what? Once my hair dried off and I could see what it looked like as a whole I actually really LOVED IT! I thought about re-dyeing to try and go blonde, but to Hell with it! I really like the look of how they turned out. See for yourself!
Of course the coverage isn't great because I didn't use enough dye so there's patches of brown and black in there, but considering this went wrong it could've looked considerably different (and not for the better!). I'm putting this one down as a happy accident.
I always wanted to be a redhead anyway :D