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A friend of over 20 years came to visit me last weekend. It had been 2 years since we had last seen each other in person. We love each other very much and are more sisters than friends. Which is why it hurt so deeply when she was critical of my decision to grow dreads.
Of all the people I thought might give me a hard time, I never would have dreamed it would come from her. As my one representative in life of unconditional love, she devastated me by being so negative. I struggled with her criticism, even after she left, wondering why it had affected me so.
After having turned 40, I decided I was finally going to be a grown up. I was no longer going to live my life for others. I was going to live my life for me, allowing others to be in charge of their own happiness rather than trying to do the job for them. I was no longer going to feel like a failure because I could never live up to the typical standards of beauty that our society has set. I was going to love myself and see myself outwardly as a reflection of my inner beauty. Obviously, I have a way to go yet.
I guess that is why the universe brought me that interaction with her. I had to see that there is still much healing to be done besides simply making the decision to heal. There have been several years of feeling inadequate, for many different reasons. Even now, after having accomplished so much in my life over the past few years, there is still that shy, sad, insecure person inside me.
"It's just hair." Yet the awakening as a result of it has been nothing short of amazing. Finding this site, seeing so many people with their different stories, many very similar to mine. Knowing that there are so many ways to be and feel and live and love, and so many ways to be truly beautiful. Finding simplicity in this chaotic world by giving things over to nature and knowing that all is well. I know that I am on the right path, and I will emerge from this chrysalis with not only a whole new appreciation for the world, but a whole new appreciation for myself, and my role in it. I can only hope my friend will grow dreads of her own one day.
I thank you all for your blogs, discussions, photos, advice, and for sharing so much of yourselves.
I don't think I have ever posted a blog post in there but I thought I would give a written update to tell some of my story. I started out RnT then decided to go to neglect after a few weeks of attempting to crochet them for neatness. Now just past 1 year of going all natural I am loving my dreads. I worried about the RnT stuff coming out and then later I worried because nearly all of it fell out of some locks. I had long ends at the time and it worried me, some of them today are still long and curl, some are rather short, and some dread all the way to the end. Everything seems much better now that I have settled into the natural process.
So, after a year of going natural my roots grew into beautiful dreadlocks and the RnT part now looks like ugly ends on some of them, but I love it anyway because it just shows how much more beautiful it is when it is all natural. I even have a distinct line in many of the dreads where it was RnT and when it started growing all natural.
Just came in the mail yesterday, looking forward to trying it. Any suggestions on how to use it? I know soaringeagle mentioned that a little goes a long way and not to use much. But when should I use it, after a washing? when the hair is still damp? I was planning to use it after washing my hair. Let me know you guys, I appreciate it!
Not really anything new to report. My sections are pretty defined, they are getting kinda wavy & i know they are knotting slightly but I don't have any loops or knots that a camera captures so nothing to show off & brag about yet. Soon. I love my hair. It's gotten frizzy & poofy & I really feel like it's a lions mane some days. The wavy underbits are lovely.
I'm having fun wrapping different sections adding some color & charms here & there. At the top of the wraps the roots get the start of a loop but all the ones that have had the wraps come off that baby loop disappears again. It'll come back. In time. I had a little girl ask me about my green wrap in the park (a 6 year old saying "why do you have that green thing in your hair?"). I figured it was easier to take the shortest simplest answer rather than explain the whole dreadlock thing (especially since they aren't looking near that at all) so I just told her I liked it, I think it's pretty. She thought that was an acceptable answer. I love how kids can just accept that, you like it, so you do it. Makes sense.
I've had a rough time lately & in one of my bad moments I lay on the bathroom floor & thought about brushing my hair out...I haven't a clue why the idea would pop into my head. My rough time has nothing to do with what my hair is doing, I'm absolutely loving my hair. Almost immediately after thinking it I thought "why bother", I never brushed my hair or "did" anything with it before anyway so what's the difference? At least I'm loving it now rather than bitching & hating it & throwing in a ponytail every single day that hurts my head. I'm in this for the long run. This is the only time in my life I've liked my hair, & I don't just like it I love it. Why would I abandon that? I wouldn't.
I feel looping & some good knotting is right around the corner. My sections are soooo good & the waves are going to pull up to loop shortly, my wraps are also helping I think. I get excited when I wake up and a section is sticking up. I want some good bed head 
This may be a long journey but the wait is well worth it, & I'm enjoying the trip because the pathway is pretty. Sure I can't wait until there are loops or knots, or real dreads, but I love my hair being free & I love my red wavy dreadie babies <3
This weekend I headed down the road to Floydfest. Being only 40 minutes from my home and a ticket purchased by my boss I was destined to arrive. A lot of people attending had been at the Rainbow Gathering in July and were truly incredible. I went with the intention of fun but had a life-changing experience. I've come to realize that the only truly important thing in our lives is our own happiness, and I believe the universe would feel the same. I met some amazing and inspiring people who I know will be in my life until it's end in this form. If we all strive to love our own lives we will be capable of loving the live's that surround us. Everything is changing but only if we are. The moment we quit learning, growing and experiencing new things is when our lives come to a halt. I hope that you all may see the beauty in the day and embrace this life to the fullest. Bless
So recently I went on a vacation to Puerto Rico and it was stressful at some points. My family isn't the most calming people to be around. Anyways we rode ATV's in the rainforest and it was absolutely beautiful. I know for sure that I want to live on the mountains and I'm honestly thinking about living some where like Puerto Rico because the rainforest is on the mountains and it's just amazing the people are jet typical islanders and there's so much life and community that it seems as though no one is sad or controlled. We went to take a rest near a river and the river was completely clear. Our guide said that when it rains the water becomes 95% clean water which is okay for people to drink and i just thought that was the coolest thing. If i were to go to a river here in VA or WV I'm pretty sure i would get sick if i drank the water. There was so much life and I sat on the roots of a tree and had my feet in the river and I immediately felt connected, with everything. I knew i wanted to surround myself in nature but there wasn't a real way i was feeling a full connection to it. I need experiences like the one i had in PR to keep this sort of spiritual momentum. I had no phone (which i will admit that I am addicted to) or anything else manmade to occupy my time besides maybe clothes or the parked ATV's but that's fine. It's just difficult to have these connections to nature where I live. My family has views far from mine and they're generally stressful to be around, everywhere i go there is something manmade, the trees and bushes are cut to look the same, there's usually cement paths to anywhere that looks promising. I'm not trying to complain, I do have a comfortable life that I'm grateful everyday for, it's just not the one I want. I don't want any of this, I don't care for being financially comfortable, I don't even use most of this stuff I don't watch TV and i don't need a movie theatre at my disposal. Id rather be like my stepsisters grandma who lives in sort of a box house in the mountains with home made meals, perhaps a garden, and a PA system to play music.
Anyways...
So on the root of the tree there was something that sort of made me feel like it was important. This was an important tree and i needed to pay attention to it. And it was after that, that I started paying attention to the way trees grow and how interesting and helpful they are. Sort of like the limbs of the earth. I felt like i was breathing with the tree and all the life that was on it and swimming through it. It was just lovely and there was something Emmerson said that i didn't really understand fully about being so overwhelmed by nature that theres a tinge of fear. I always thought that it was a fear of that happiness escaping but I felt a fear or more of a doubt but I'm not sure why. Like maybe I'm doing something wrong.
(rambling now)
In relation to this website:
I sort of came up with this analogy that trees are like dreadlocks. I wouldn't cut them or trim them, I want them to natural and grow and long as they can. Trees all grow differently they have branches and holes and bumps and they're unique but some people, especially in neighbor hoods like mine, try to cut them to look the same, strait up and down with many leaves. Just made me think that people who want their dreads to look perfect are going to kill their tree. It's like fighting nature. Trees are going to grow large and beautiful, and there's life in them literally and it's the same with our hair, it all starts from the roots and roots go pretty deep down.
Just ordered this product, can't wait to try it. Anybody on this site used it before? Let me know your thoughts on this product. Blessingz.
My dreads will make 4 months next week. I used the backcomb method, and twist and rip as well. I dont do much to them, just .. let them grow. I didn't use wax or anything, all natural. I wash them twice a week with Neutrogena anti-residue shampoo. I have rubberbands in the roots and the ends. I noticed .. that the ends are getting knotted and the roots as well but not the middle, I still have straight hair. How long will it take? and is there something wrong? also ...if I backcomb the middle, it gets knotted but the next day is straight hair again ... am I not being paitent? .. is it normal for them to be like that? Howcome the knots in the middle are going away? Please, give me an answer. I'm freaking out! (notice how in the picture the ends are knotted but the middle is just straight hair) 