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Today was a little rough. I had two confrontations about dreading my hair. One was from a cousin, with whom i have been extremely close for a very long time. She expressed genuine disapproval of my decision and told me that she loved my hair the way it was and wished I weren't changing it. She's not the first person who hasn't been fond of the idea, but because of the importance of my relationship with her, the concern was more troubling coming from her. No one wants their friends to disagree with their decisions. But, I told her exactly what I've told other people. It's not her hair, it's not her choice. I value her opinion, but at the end of the day, it's something I have to live with, and something I DO want. Very badly, asI'm discovering.
Another confrontation was from my dad. He has been gone for 2 weeks and is coming home tomorrow. I started to naturally let my hair dread while he was away. He also was unimpressed with my decision, andbasically expressed his concern that people will think of me differently, and that it will say something bad about me. But I am choosing to take an Aristotilian view on this skepticism about my decision, and amdismissing it. Aristotle believed that if someone was skeptical of his work, it was simply because they were not designed to understand it, similar to how the deaf were not designed to listen to music, and the colorblind could not possibly understand (to a full extent) the difference between blue and red. It very well may be hopeless to try to get Dad to understand why I'm making this choice, and I'm ok with that. Convincing him of my choice is not crutial in any way to me making it.
I was told that dreads teach you lessons, a major one being patience. But, I've only been dreading for about a week or so and they've already taught me something different. Respect for myself, for my decisions, for who I am and who I want to be. They are teaching me to believe in myself. To believe in the power of my mind and my body, and my will.
For a while, I was a little uncertain about dreading my hair. Then I started, and wondered if Dad would tell me to stop and if so- how would I respond? I wasn't sure what the answer to that question may be. But I know now. Nothing and no one can change my mind, nothing will stop me. No comment from friends, no threat from my father. This decision is mine. I make it for myself. Not in spite of anyone, and not for anyone else. This is for me.
Hey yall! I just wanted to post some things about my one month of dreading!! Ok so here are a few things that have changed with my dreadies. First off they have gotten loose alot altho some are still kinda tight. My roots are getting pretty long from my TnR falling out but not a big deal. All in all they are doing everything you would expect dreadies at a month would do.
Ok now to the scalp.
I have had dandriff and what not my whole life but i guess with normal hair i didnt notice it as much. I had tryed BS/ACV and my ratio was wayyy off haha! So that left me with alot of extra bs that never got washed out of my hair and left me with some narly dandriff! No fret here tho after a few washes I got under control. Now just reg dandriff problems wich i intend to fix as well.
I really glad I took on the dreadhead challenge. Love to all.
I want to be a teacher but wish I could start dreadlocks...I don't know where this would be acceptable. Maybe alternative career options...I'm starting to regret my career choice
I went everywhere looking for Dr.Bronner's and couldn't find it! This is the only thing I found that has some of the ingredients that bronners has. Can I wash my dreads with this? They're 5 months! It says "organic" ..it also says remove residue with a warm towel ..how does that work? 
Some lady at the mall yesterday said she loved my hair yes she said hair, they aren't identifiable as dreads yet but my husband laughed because they are in an "in between" state & actually looking like i haven't been brushing every morning now. pretty freakin frizzy & poofy & i'm sure driving with the windows down & not looking in the mirror didn't do them much favors Squee! Love my baby dreads!
So I was checking my e-mail and I came upon this petition:
This is a HBCU. A place where you would think there would be more support for Black students and yet look at how they dump on locks and cornrows. It is disgusting how these schools (in general, not just HBCU) exist not to help people understand the world and make a positive contribution to it but rather to create more mangers and politicians. Apparently Corporate American can't tolerate any deviation from the Eurocentric "norm".
Alright. I'm going to do it. Today is technically day 2 of not brushing but day 1 of consciously not brushing. I have had the 3 I backcombed for almost 3 weeks, but after I took the rubber bands out they began to unknot a little and loosen up. I am going to let them do their thing though. They can figureit out naturally, along with the rest of my head.The only thing that backcombing/rubber bands did was speed up the process, but I'm afraid that if I try to do that, then I will miss out on so much of the experience of letting my hair dread. I figured that if I've been spending this much time thinking about dreading, then thats probably a sign that I'm ready. I was going to wait a little while to be absolutley sure, but I know that if I wait 2 or 4 or 6 months I will still want to, so I might as well get started now. I'm going to let my hair naturally dread, since that seems to obviously be the best way. (any one catch the oxymoron there?) I plan to wash my hair every 4 days-1 week, and am going to use a residue-free neutrogena shampoo until i can get my hands on the ingredients to make my own wonderful concoction with which to wash my hair/dreads. As I understand, to naturall dread my hair, besides slightly lengthening the time between washes (currently 3-4 days- I don't wash my hair super often anyway, so it won't be a drastic change for me), there really isnt that much else to letting it naturally dread. Besides not brushing my hair, clearly. I think/hope it will still be ok for me to wear my hair in a bun several days of the week, as I do now. If not I'd love someone to tell me so. Other than have my hair look like a crazy mess until the dreads form and organize, I have no reservations about taking this plunge. Worst case scenario-I decide I don't want them anymore. In which case, if I'm too far along to brush them out,it is already on my bucket list to shave my head, so that deciding I don't want dreads anymore might not be that bad of a scenario.
Well, here I go! Can't wait for all the lessons and experiences this journey will bring : )
This is day three (or four, I already don't remember). I'm going 100% natural. Is it already a little hard? Yes. But that's part of it.
Hard to not hold myself prisoner in front of the mirror. Hard to not ask stupid, self-deprecating questions. Hard to not worry about what others think. Hard to not bust out the brushes and wax and freezing sprays, and just arm myself with my familiar, tried-and-true crest. Hard, too, to not give to my initial desire to use a starter method, so at least I can say, "Look, see, I'm starting dreads."
But letting one's hair lock is exactly that: letting. Allowing. It is hardly just another hair style. I do believe it is a life style, as many others have said; to quote another: "a stance we take in relation to life." An embodiment of simplicity, real beauty, real freedom, and letting what is flourish, within the larger embodiment of these things in all aspects of one's life. This is not to say that dreadlocks make or break anything; a person can live a fine example of these things without them. But dreads do seem a sort of natural occurrence in many who have chosen to shift.
And that is what I'm after. A genuine shift. This is just one aspect of a greater healing process that I'm in, that I'm committing to, as difficult as it is.
You don't really start dreads; it's more like you stop a lot of other stuff.
Do I wish that, right now, I had long gorgeous gnarly locks, rather than this six inches of uncombed curly mop on my head? Of course. But if I had them right now, I wouldn't have much...