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anna b

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Location: Moscow
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help to convince parents to allow dreads???

2012-02-07
By: anna b
Posted in:

yo peeps

just joined this web :)) love the useful info here!!! i want dreads sooooo much - i theyre beautiful and would reflect my personality and make me feel good about my image and stuff, plus i hate brushing my hair (lol dont we all)!! buuuuuuuut since still live with parents they wont let me get them!! i have done so much research on them, showed a presentation/essay with all their evil stereotypes about dreads proved wrong, but they wont let me. theyre not talking about them being dirty or anything anymore since i told them about it, but now theyre saying that no one famous or successul white person has dreadlocks, or they all look stupid, or theyre ugly, or only hippies/homeless ppl have them, etc. i know this is wrong, but these are kinda opinion things, ya know? u cant convince someone to think diff about that kind of stuff. even worse, my mum agreed to make me ONE DREAD and then immediately take it out, but she made it super super loose and fuzzy so know she's convinced thats what all dreads look like in the months before they mature, when basically she just twisted my hair then rubbed it!!! srry to blab on so much but just wanna know, any more tips on convincing parents??? i feel like ive tried everything, but everyone is like def NONONONONO. plz help!!!!!

PS planning on doingtwist n ripdreads, not neglect!! would love to do natural but they take a long time and dont look presentable for ages, and not brushing my hair would NOT go down very well!!

anna b
02/16/12 11:55:38AM @anna-b:

thanks so much, PeacewithDreads, yeah i'm under 18. im not letting my parents forget and have proved all their stereotypes wrong, apart from the successful white people thing and the tats, drugs, hippie association. but thnx for the support!!!


PeacewithDreads
02/12/12 02:11:39PM @peacewithdreads:
Unfortunately, Annab, if you go against your parents you both will be unhappy because the first weeks are challenging because your hair will not always look good. I had much resistance from my husband, but eventually he resigned himself. I told him that i ever became published, then i was going to allow my artistic expression full reign. I have wanted to be a writer for years and for my husband he accepted my goal because it never happened. Well, guess what....two of my research papers were competing with each other in a research symposium. My goal was such that my husband was soooo proud at what i had accomplished the dread thing he said, "i really have no right to tell you what you do to your hair." unfortunately you are a minor they have parental authority. (right u r under 18?).Have you explored some of the postings? Just the last day there has been a huge debate over racial bias on "white" dreads. The point i am making is to start thinking like a dready. It takes 18 months to have mature dreads. I cant get a hair to not for the life of me after 42 days. However, it has started... The dreads are forming and i have had 43 days to adapt to the trials and tribulations. Your parents are trying to protect you from the inevitable hurts that will come your way... As well as trying to come to terms with their own pre conceived bias and the comments that will come their way. However, the goal is to get them to realize the perspective that there are dar worse choices that could be made that would make them only wish they could have let you do the dreads..(which is not permanent it can be changed)...sign a contract that dreads will not change your lifestyle....(they may buy into the stereotype of drugs,tats, piercings...) be aware of the pitfalls and be informed. I never said "if" i always said when and so when it finally happened it was far less dramatic than i expected. I think the fact that the chang in me is gradual and they see i am not letting myself go, but am maintaining a clean head...coming up with the washes and rinses, made all the difference.

Tara C
02/12/12 06:24:13AM @tara-c:

The reason there aren't many famous/rich white people with dreads is because they tend to be more low-key and not willing to be so famous and whatever, I'd imagine, since dreadlocks tend to go hand-in-hand with a spiritual journey. Still, you can show her timelines on here of how messy people's dreadlocks first started out, and how they progress and form dreads, so they know it's not a case of "this is what it'll look like forever". Besides that...what would happen if you did it anyway? I mean, I'm not saying you should just defy your parents for the sake of it, but if it's something you really want, you can't be controlled by anyone, even your parents. They have to understand that you have your own mind.


anna b
02/12/12 05:05:43AM @anna-b:

having stupid arguements with parents about it now, and theyre going on about some kind of win-win crap where everyone is happy... what the hell?? the only way i will be happy is if i get dreads, only way they will is if i shut up and give up on it...


anna b
02/08/12 09:44:18AM @anna-b:

thanks soooo much people!!! ur helping so much!! will def show them this stuff!! am close to convincing my mu cos of u guys!!!!! :)))))))))


PeacewithDreads
02/07/12 07:35:29PM @peacewithdreads:
Famous white people dreads? Tom Hanks in Castaway...not a good example of perfection, but a perfect example of what is natural. I am a history/peace psychology major and does society honestly believe our Roman ancestors were free from snarls? There are so many amazingly beautiful people on that slide show on the main page. Show them that. You are confronted with a dilemma, but if its any help, my husband had a bad attitude about it for 15 years (and he is African American ) and in January he finally accepted this desire was a part of my identity. Keep on feeding that seed. They may have the upper hand now but it wont always be that way.

Tied up in knots
02/07/12 01:19:16PM @tied-up-in-knots:

Nandor Tanczos. He was a member of New Zealands parliament for 9 years.

There is a fantastic picture of him sitting in Parliament in a suit and tie with his dreads wrapped in a huuuuge crown on top of his head. Show that one to your parents.

Success is what you make of it. Your hair doesn't determine your level of success. How many people without dreads do they know who've never had any success in life? I know a lot. I also know dreads who are community leaders, movers and shakers, trying to make the world a better place.

As far as thinking they're ugly...that's personal preference. If everyone found the same things beautiful we wouldn't need fashion designers, interior designers, or hair stylists. All buildings would look the same. We would all dress the same. We wouldn't have to worry about falling in love because we would all be the same. The music world would shrink because we'd all love the same genres.

And BESIDES ALL OF THAT true beauty is within. If you are a good person without dreads then you aren't going to suddenly become a nasty person with them. Anyone worth knowing will look past your hair and try to see who you are underneath all of that.

And for the record, there are obviously a great many people that think dreadlocks are beautiful. We all have them and many of us have family and friends who don't have them but love dreads anyway.

My husband is indifferent to my hair but he still thinks I'm just as beautiful as I was before. He didn't fall in love with my hair. He fell in love with me. I wouldn't keep him around if he was that superficial.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You cannot ever appeal to everyones sense of beauty. You can only ever fully appeal to yours.


anna b
02/07/12 11:25:00AM @anna-b:

dont know how ANYONE can think dreads are ugly or associate them with bikers and hippies and ppl with tatoos and peircings and stuff, dreadlocks are supposed to be spiritual and natural!! weird.


anna b
02/07/12 11:23:48AM @anna-b:

thanks soaring eagle!!! def gonna tell them!! told them about loads of musicians and the bible things and stuff, thanks!! space thing is SUPER helpful!! have any tips about the thinking them ugly thing?


☮ soaring eagle ॐ
02/07/12 11:12:08AM @soaring-eagle:

do twist n rip not backcomb

but ok

famouse white suvccessful people with dreads

we as a nation never would have made it to the moon without a dread

yes tythe saturn rockets were sdesigned..and built aby a man with dreadlocks

he now runs the largest biodeisel refinery in the country and was in the documentary gasholes

in fact a friend of mine a member io=in this site with natural dreads is getting his phd in riocket science and soon will work for nasa as well

the inventor of virtual realitty..a dread

famouse ppl well look at all the musicians and the 1\that was on american idol yea rob zombie may not be a =ideal roll model but sure is famouse

but your agverage dra-=eads not as interested in fame as they are in being a good person a productive member of society

someone worthby of respect

naw other famouse dreads

there were a dozen native american chiefs

king tut

sammpson jesus joseph john the baptist

u cant get any more famouse then those guys can you?

and successful at that inso=piring areligion of millions that spanned thopusands of years spread round the world and yea caused the crusades but ya cant blame them directly for that

althpugh some disagree jesus had dreads the term jesus of nazarene reffers to no city in existence at the time si o its believed it reffers to jesus the nazarite as a nazarite they are required by vow to let the hair dread.

the only mention of jesusds hair was it was as wool which wolol mats into dreads

joseph and jogghn the baptist were knownto have dreads to the ground and ofcourse sampsons dreads are the most famouse ever

cleopatra the most revered beauty of the time had dreads uin fact many egytyn nobels do=id and commonerswere known tio make dreadlocks wigs for celenrations

in fact

throughout history dreads were a sign of nobility and respect a higher man someone looked up to

gurus babas teachers

they still are

except by the very close minded


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