By Amber 'Blob' Orpin, 2012-10-04
Free associate. Sometimes a writer's tendency toward perfectionism stops him dead cold in his tracks. Give yourself 15 minutes to be totally free of your "inner critic." Set a timer and start typing - write whatever pops into your head, even if it is total gibberish, a shopping list, words that rhyme - whatever. The idea is to get your creative juices flowing. Some writers do this exercise every day before they begin writing.
This is my 15 mins.
things have always been hard. i dont know or why i am like this nay more. is it possibly becasue of my dad dieing? or was all of this brought on by becoming a mother? this is the question that wont stop doing loops in my head. whould things be the same if he was still here? but i can never know thw awnser to this question. i just want to talk to him, it feels like everything would be easerer if i could talk to him, he had a way of if not always the thing i wanted to hear, this sucks, like really suckes, why do i have such a provblem dealing with all of this? recurring dreams of packing up all my things, moving away, not the 'main' part of the dream just in passing, i drempt of him the the other day he was just passing by i cant rememebr if he said anything but he was helping me mov things round to the van. i seem to be getting clocer to having everything packed. i have lost count how many dredreams i have had, i still need to pack all this up. why am i having such trouble packing this up? i need to go time is running out, how come everyone else is packed up, maybe they arnt packed up at all and like me just good at looking like i have it all under controll. it pissesm. it pisses me off that i cant get the awnswers i want, i would say need but. . . all the problems im having i cant put them anywhere. is it berevment? PND? depresstion, axziatea? i ahte how i feel at the moment, i dont want to shout and Kyra why do i keep doing that? i just want to talk to you, but i cant. and John why cant ti talk to you? you are trying so hard right now . why did you have to go. i want to scream i wanted to scream but i couldnt bacuse. i coulndt focus on you i had kyra to worry about. you should have been there to see me in hospital with kyra but you didnt come. i know you were exsited but you couldnt stay why did you have to go? im so confused. i dont unerstand, someone explanie it too me plase? i miss you i miss you i need you. im so confused, why do i have these thoughts? i wish they would leave. i dont need to see these things, why would i think thases things? why is so hard?
why why hwy is that all i can ask? where do i go to find these aswers? do i need space? time? i cant do what i want tod. i cant do what i want tot do. i want to be on my own be somewhere where no one knows me. i feel guilty for wanting this, how could i possibly do what i need with you two hwe. with you two here? i cant just run away but its all i can seem to think about.
you have been so strong they tell me. like fuck have i. its not fair on Kyra. she has ro deal with me. i beat my aslef up because of they way i tear her somethimes. the looks from john when i shout are horrid. i dont mean to shout. i try so hard to be a good mum focus my energy in to that but somethimes ti. things over spill.
By Amber 'Blob' Orpin, 2012-10-01
Alljourneys have to start somewhere.
I can't precisely remember when the idea of having dreds came about, it feels like the idea has always been there floating around for as long as i can remember. Most friday eveings you could find me Plaitting (braiding) my hair for the weekend ready for what ever it had in store. The first time someone with dreadlocks hit my radar was 1999 (making me roughly 10) in the from of Faye Tozer Not the best picture i know. I remember seeing her hair and insatley wanted to know more about dreds. All of a sudden there was a way to have platied hair all the time, and it was beautifull. I always felt a sort of freedom when i had my hair in platis. It's hard to discribe really. Something about it just made me feel complete, free, more myself.
Next up on the dred-sparation was Christina Aguilera and her 2nd album StrippedThe days of 'Beautiful' and 'Dirty' brought dreds back in to my life and there they took a firm hold and i promised my self one day i would have them.
I put the idea of dreds on the back burner of a long time while i was at sixth form then collage, i was taking the idea of becoming a actor very serioulsy so i held off getting the piercings and tattoos i wanted and kept my hair simple to accomodate any roles that might come my way. After collage i went to uni down Devon way and while there re-kindled my love affair with dreds.
To be continued. . .
Safe journey till next time
By Amber 'Blob' Orpin, 2012-09-27
Hey there all you lovley people in dred land!
Just swung by to upload some piccys of John's dreds and sort out some from of order with them. Fingers crossed i will keep up to date with putting pictures up. Quick note the ACV wash was brill, already i can see and feel an imporvment, no more dry scalp (Yippie)
Another blog is due soon so keep an eye out (hopefully by the weekend)
safe journey till next time
By Amber 'Blob' Orpin, 2012-09-21
Hopefully not and its just my scalp has gotten a bit dry. Its isn't itchy at all which can only be a good thing in my books but it dosnt look all that nice and i want to nip it in the bud before it becomes more of a problem.
Apple Cider Vinegar Rince - Used to reset the PH balance of your hair. For baby dred's use a cap full in about a gallon of water and use this wash after the bicarb has been rinced out. You wont need to to a ACV everytime you wash, i have been told once a week will be plentey but as all things dreddie its all about what works for you and your hair.
Tea Tree Oil - Just add a few drops in to the bicarb wash 5-10 drops.
Think i will go for a ACV wash 1'st as it has been sitting in my cupboard far a while now and its starting to look a bit sad as i have only used it once. In washed my hair yesterday so it will be a few days till i can report my findings. So keep your self entertained and i will see you soon
Safe journey till next time
By Amber 'Blob' Orpin, 2012-09-20
Get the kettle on, find somewhere soft to sit (im going with floor chustions today) and lets have a good chin wag. Home life is feeling good, had a bit of a downer month but it seems to be sorting its self back out makeing the vibe here a lot more relaxed. John has just started his new job, longer hours brings the useual worry of not seeing Kyra as much (more about her later) but it does mean the pay is better which brings a 1'st for us as we can now pay all the bills, every month! so hopefully red bills we be a thing of the past. Yippie! Kyra has just enterd the world of potty training and doing really well, only a couple of accidents so far and a bit of a barin teaser of the best way to get a runny poo off a rug (all sujestions welcome)
All things dreds.
Well its all been moving rather fast. John after hateing the idea of dredsoriginally has come full circle and is even in the lead. John has a slight curl to his hair so its dreading really well without much help, i have been trying out my backcoming methods on a few dreds round the front as they kept getting in the way while he was working. He is trying out diffirent ways of tying them up for work but still havent found anything that works for him just yet, need to find a good bandana i think.
My dreds on the other had are taking the slow and steady approach. BS washing is really helping, although im fighting some hairspray out of my hair at the moment, its nearly all gone its just taking a few washes. As my hair is really long im worried it will create one big knot at the back so im going to section it all out taking the lead from knots that have already started to form, plait the sections then work my way round backcoming. I did want to leave it to do its own thing (neglect method) but it isnt really practical when running a house with a 2yr old in it. Even Kyra is beeting me in the dred department, she has one the forms at the end of most days right in the back (its very cute). she has asked if she can have dreds as well, which im all up for but its going to have to wait till mine are a bit moremanageable and i get better as washing them. Hopefully this wont be long as im getting lots od parctice washing johns for him. Hopeing to get some pictures up soon
Well i will leave it there for today and try to blog again soon.
Safe journey till next time
By Amber 'Blob' Orpin, 2012-08-10
Just got back from town and NONE of the shops had any apple cider vinegar, not impressed, not even a little bit. So I bought distiled malt (the clear one) insted, thinking that the ACV wash is to 'level' back out the PH in your hair. The acidity in the vinegar is the same, its just the smell that might be a problem so i was going to add a few drops of tea tree oil or something similar to get rid of the chip shop vibe.
Safe journey till next time
By Amber 'Blob' Orpin, 2012-08-08
Well hello there! Thanks for popping by
So im hopeing to get dreding by the end of the month, twist and rip mainly but possibly a bit of backcoming as well, but more on this later
I have been using baby shampoo for around 3 months now and after lots of research moving on too Baking soda wash soon. but im a bit confused as to a ratio for it. (any sujestions) and why the vingar wash after the BS? just trying to get a better understanding of things that i can before i dive in (and my friends all want to know)
Sum up to my ramblings:
Ratio for BS wash? Why the vinegar wash what does this do?
Please turn a blind eye to all my spelling and/or grammar mistakes
Safe journey till next time Blob xXx