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Miradas en blanco de extraños
I know I must not be the only one who's hair gets stared at everywhere I go, but it sure feels like it. HAHA. Most days I just ignore the fact the everyone in the room is staring at my hair. It's funny how the minute I glance at them they quickly look away, like they are trying to hide the fact that they were just staring at me for what seems like hours. It's rare when someone says "hey I like your hair" or "wow your dreads are cool" or "you look good with dreads". So this is my question, I wonder if dreads look right on me? Most of the time I'm sure people are just scared to say something to a stranger, but it makes me wonder when they look away so fast, what do they really think?
AND then, my sense of self kicks in and I realize I don't give a shit what they think. Of course, though, there is always that tiny fraction of doubt looming in the back of my mind. The blank stares of random strangers is beginning to get under my skin. I have no anxiety when I go to work, because it is my creative outlet. I don't get judged there, but out in the real world is a different story.
I am wondering what the rest of you do when you notice the stares, and how do keep your focus so those stares don't start to bother you?
People tend to look at (and sometimes disapprove of) things that are different. I have started experiencing that when I was 14, wearing chains, black clothes, and whatnot.
The thing is, if they are staring at your hair, there is obviously something to see. Which always makes me happy, because that means something happening there, and I'm not making progress up. :D
And still. We have all (probably) entered all this with the knowledge that there will be people who liked our dreads, and people who didn't. It's only natural. In Serbia, we have a folk tale entitled 'You can't please the world', which is a mandatory read in elementary school, so we are prepared for stuff like that from the start. :D
All in all, don't worry about it.
We all have different reasons for looking at things, but they all have something in common - if you look, there's probably something to see. And if it is only a big mess of hair - well, hey, in our world, that's a great thing! :D
I actually have noticed quite a bit of scoffing and death-glares whilst in public... and I live near San Francisco so I would think that this area would be just a little bit more laid back.
Anyway, when I see the death-glare happen I quickly turn and smile my biggest smile. Usually they end up looking really embarrassed afterward for being caught.
No-one has said anything about my hair, so I don't care. Noticed a few people staring, probably cos I look like someone who hasn't brushed her hair for almost 10 months (which is accurate), but I love how my hair is dreading, so it doesn't bother me.
My experiences match James's comment pretty well. In my own actions of being curious and kind of awkward with the whole looking away thing and in having most people simply being curious or even approving rather than judge-y. Very few people are actively sneering at me in an obvious manner. ( Full discolsure: I am a Vancouverite. We are masters of passive aggression and extreme public politeness so a great many people very well could be judging me with a smile so I might be completely mislead! :P lol!)
I feel I should also mention that I personally tend to look really mean when I'm not actively trying to look happy. It's lame. Apparently people think I'm a huge bitch the first time they see me. I personally make an effort these days to look happier when I'm out in public because of this.
So, some of those people might just be like me. Grouchy looking with a side of awkward. Not really judgmental people at all! Something to keep in mind for sure.
Before the first time I ever had dreads I would stare at them because I thought they were the coolest thing ever and I wish my hair looked like that, if I got caught I looked away because I didn't want to make the person uncomfortable but I know I just did. That's what some of them are thinking. Others are thinking about their trip to the caribbean. I went to the grocery store acouple days ago and some woman who works there walked up to me told me to cut my mop and just stared at me. I acted like she didn't exist and after 10 seconds of staring at me turned around and walked away. That was weird.
If someone is looking at me funny I smile first. If they don't smile back I roll my eyes and shake my head disapprovingly.( I'm a mom so I'm good at it :p) Most people then have the decency to be ashamed of themselves for being so rude. If they don't...meh. They're not worth the time.
When in doubt I just remember that I love my dreads. I don't have much doubt though because I'm constantly aware of how much I love my dreads. They feel so right that they can't possibly be wrong. Other people and their wrong opinions can take a hike. I am impervious to their judgement.
But when I do come across judgey folks that just can't help expressing their opinions I judge them right back. It usually makes them realize that what they're doing is wrong. And like above, if they don't, MEH!
And as for you doubting yourself and your hair...
Your dreads look great on you. How could they not? Look at you! Not wearing make-up!? You and your dreads are freakin' gorgeous!
If i catch someone looking,i stare straight in their eyes,freak em out even more :P
bahaha! Wouldn't that be a site! I'll wait till my poor little toe is healed to try this one out.
next time just turn to them and say booga booga booga then run away laughing
I almost always smile at people who I come in eye contact with, but lately it seems they just look away uncomfortably. LOL my dreads are making people I don't uncomfortable. It's really kind of humorous to me.