So as Ive been dreading my hair Ive noticed way more vibrations in people than I ever could before. Is this a thing? I have a background in the eastern healing and modalities as a massage therapist and deal with these kinds of things often but Ive felt it more consistently since my hair has been locking up. I must try some more reading about the antenna that is the hair and how locking attracts more energy so to speak. Maybe Im just hyperaware of people and their reactions because I feel on guard most of the times Im in public but so far no one has just come to me out of the blue and shat on me for having dreads. Im about to start a new job soon so I will see how things go from there. I really feel like this is how my hair is suppose to be on my body. It feels natural and like Im more connected to the world, the universe, the earth. I look around and want to help so many people but when I look at the one person who means the most to me I know he will never be able to see it. And so I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 1/2 years.

I want to be there for him. I want to help and see him grow but its not happening and I can't make it happen. Im growing as my own person too and think we just want different things in life. Similar things, but oh so different on very many important levels of a relationship. I didn't plan this to happen it just did. Im incredibly upset but the stress of everything else around me stifles my tears. I feel like the bad guy because I can't cry it out and get it over with. I dont want to leave him 100% and hopefully we can still work through this rough demotion in our relationship to find a way to be friends because I still care about his happiness even though I just shattered his world. Im not doing this out of spite. I really think this is a necessary part of my life. But man I never in a million years thought Id write this post. 

Normally when a woman gets to 12 weeks in her pregnancy the first trimester is over. I will have started my dread journey 15 weeks ago tomorrow. It has been an interesting journey and I have the support I never thought I would have. I reconnected with a couple of friends that my boyfriend also has and life has been bliss since hanging out with them regularly. My friend, Cletus really thinks my dread compliment my personality. And the more they mature the more Im in love. I really feel like my whole head is dreaded aside from a few loose hairs about. I know everything will find its place eventually and I can't wait to see the transformation happen.

Having my dreads is really like watching a pregnancy grow. It amazes me what different way my hair will want to part today or what weird entanglement they will get themselves into next. It also staves off my desire to get pregnant too, be able to watch something so similar. We aren't in a good place financially to expand our family unfortunately. Having my dreads gives me a healthy outlet to tend to something and passively watch them change. I also got a four week old kitten in September and he's now almost 6 months old. Having him around to cuddle does kind of trick my brain to not think about actively wanting another baby.

Its been an amazing life since I started this dread journey. I feel so amazing and positive all the time. I really talk to myself now in a positive light. I smile more. Im happier and a better mom to my son. Life is aaahmahhzing. I couldn't have asked for more.

My whole life I have been restricted by what I could do with my hair. My mother cut and styled it for the longest time. Mostly out of our financial situation. As I got older I was able to have more control over my appearance but I could never dye my hair and had to have the length approved by Mom before a cut. I always enjoyed shorter, easy to manage hair. I watched Mom get up every morning at the crack of dawn (sometimes before) to shower and get ready. It would take her hours. It was always a rush. I like to sleep and didn't mind my natural state. I didn't mind my hair being wet when I got on the bus or the fact I was probably the last girl to learn how to apply make up. I wore what I felt was comfortable and only 'dressed up' once in a blue moon. I was going to school after all, who did I have to impress?

My first major decision was in the 7th grade. I wanted a perm in my hair to make my hair curly for our upcoming vacation. My mom agreed and for my birthday I got a perm in my hair and it stayed in for months. I like it but it wasn't my favorite. The next year I chopped my bangs off to a blunt tip. And slowly I let my hair grow out. I started to see a hairdresser who cut my hair into layers. In the 11th grade I begged Mom to let me get a pixie cut. This was also the time in my life I decided I wanted dreads. I wanted to chop all my hair off to the pixie cut to see how I would look and how I would enjoy it in case I ever had to do it again for let's say after I don't want dreads anymore and must cut my hair off (which I now know isn't true). I maintained my pixie cut for 18 months, loving the low maintenance but hating the constant trips to the salon. By this time I was graduating from high school, making huge transitions in my life.

Here I decided I wanted to grow out my hair for dreadlocks. It took me five years to grow out my hair past my shoulders. It was the longest I ever grew my hair. In Dec 2015 I chopped off 12 inches to make it all one length and now (Oct 2016) it is right at my shoulders and ready for dreading. Before I have tried dreads before my 12 inch chop. I was always too scared and not supported enough by my own self. My significant other is not very fond of the hair style so that has also been an obstacle to over come. Now that Im almost two weeks in he is helping separate when he can and in return I will brush out his own hair which is almost four feet long and well below his butt.

My hair is pretty oily when it isn't washed but it slowly adapting to itself and regulating the oils. I just got back from camping for a whole week and it really helped my hair to get to know itself again. Knots are forming like crazy and I am so excited to officially once and for all begin this journey. Life is too short to not have awesome hair. So I plan on experimenting with dreads for as long as I can stand it. Then when my hair starts to gray I will dye it the crazy colors and grow it long or cut it short. Who really knows but this is what I want in my life. I feel like dreads will fit in with my aesthetic and my personality. Maybe it won't. Anyways Im happy with the progress so far. Im so happy to share the experience with anyone who took their time to read this!