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DREAD TRIBE POSTING GUIDELINES (((EVERYONE PLEASE READ!!!!)))

Skyler Hilborn
06/13/10 02:27:11PM
@skyler-hilborn
As we all know, there are several topics within the dreadlock community that are highly charged and inspire our passion and, unfortunately, sometimes anger. Our goal in this Dread Tribe is not to have debates over whats right and wrong, but simply provide a place for friendly, RESPECTFUL discussion and socializing. We may do things differently but we ALL have dreadlocks and are all part of the same tribe and should act accordingly. That said, we feel it is necessary to put forth specific posting guidelines to be sure that everyone remains respectful. Please continue reading below. All members must read and understand the posting guidelines before posting on this tribe.POSTING GUIDELINES:1) Understand your intentions or goal. Since the communication process begins with an intended message, be clear on your intentions or what you hope to convey before you begin.2) Say what you mean. If you convey a mixed message, you are likely to confuse the other person. If you are struggling to find appropriate words, acknowledge that.3) Use I Statements. I statements describe your ideas &/or feelings, and enables you to take responsibility for your thoughts and emotions. They are much more effective than You statements, which carry a judgmental tone, and often put a person on the defensive immediately.4) Listen for content, feelings, and intent. Each is an important component of whatever message is being communicated, and must each be considered in interpreting information.5) Check for understanding. Communication often breaks down because people make assumptions, or because there is an assumption of understanding. Clarify, ask questions, summarize and paraphrase to be ensure that both parties have the same understanding.HOW TO MAKE I-STATEMENTS:I Statements tend to:- Place responsibility with you, the speaker- Clarify your position, feelings, or opinions- Build trust by giving others information about yourself- Be less threatening or carry a tone of blameYou Statements tend to:- Elicit a negative or defensive response- Place blame or put people down- Come off as being accusatory or preachyExamples of I Statements:-"I don't like to use wax because I think it inhibits the locking process."-"I think backcombing is very damaging to hair."-"I think the natural method is the best, spiritually and physically."Examples of You Statements:"You shouldn't use wax, you will ruin your dreads.""You shouldn't backcomb your hair.""My dreads are better than yours because you didn't use the natural method."Components of I-Messages:- your feelings- what's happening- the reasonExample:It is frustrating to me (your feelings)that people continue to use wax (what's happening)because my experience and research has shown it is counter-productive.(the reason) "Please be sure to voice your OPNIONS as just that: opinions, not fact. You need to make very clear that although you may feel strongly about something, everyone makes their own informed decisions. There's a difference between offering information and pushing your beliefs on someone.Along these same lines, no posts should be made that are intended to be inflammatory or incite anger. It is more than possible to feel strongly and express your opinion on a topic without upsetting people by expressing it. People need to understand an be respectful or they should expect to be banned.PENALTY FOR OFFENSES:-FIRST OFFENSE- We recognize that learning to make I-statements can be a learning process and does not come easily to everyone. Therefore, the first offense will result in a **warning** that includes a correction of the statement that resulted IN the inappropriate statement to clarify how we expect everyone to express themselves.-SECOND OFFENSE- Will result in a temporary ban of 2 weeks and a warning that includes a correction of the statement that was the offense.-THIRD OFFENSE- Will result in a permanent ban.In order to continue to post on this discussion board, please copy and paste the following statement into a reply to this thread to confirm that you have read AND understood the above guidelines. Members found posting without having read and agreed to the above guidelines first will be temporarily suspended until they agree to read and paste the below into a new reply as stated.I ((insert your name here)) have read the above posting guidelines. I understand what is expected of me and hereby agree to abide by the guidelines as stated above. My intention is to present my opinion as an opinion that is mine and mine alone. I understand that if I fail to do so I may be permanently banned from this group.