Pardon any errors..Havent proof read it..Wrote it long time back. Thought I should share with you guys.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxVirtual Diary of Zargon 2 600X from the Ashtar Gallactic Command.Currently a patient of Dr.Matt Murrigan, famous psychiatrist from Brighton.Time of Entry:- 11:30 pm (Earth Time)Date of Entry:- 31st December,2007. (Gregorian calendar)Location:- Oceana, Brighton.Dear Diary,I'm writing to you once again because Dr.Murrigan has said so and he assures me that by looking at you, he will know what is wrong with me? Ever since I left Ashtar Galaxy, I havent felt the same. Something has always been missing. But Doctor assures me that "feeling out of place" and that "world doesnt understand or know you" are normal feelings that every human goes through. I wish he could understand the lackness of normalcy against the enormity of my feeling in this situation.Hmmph...Anyways here I'm again at a party enjoying few sips of my screwdriver while my friends are at the bar getting more drinks. There was a time when taking screwdrivers to a social gathering was considered threatening. I remember the summer of 1916 when I used to live in suburbs of Michigan, we had a standup comedian night. All the men from the suburb wanted to be a comedian and went their seeking female attention. I sat there drinking my lemonade as one comedian after the other came on stage and made fun of their jobs and wives. It was like men had learnt to laugh at two things they couldnt live without. It was refreshing to see that because I saw Jihad few centuries before that, where people left their jobs and wife to die for few metres of land and I dont think they found it funny when their heads were being crushed by a very heavy stone with a cross on it.And then one young boy showed up and it was obvious he had no wife. From his grease stained jeans, we could only guess what he did? He introduced himself as a car mechanic and said soon we will have machines taking us from one place to the other. Now, we couldnt even imagine what he did so what were the chances of finding his jokes funny but he promised he had a killer joke. A graphic joke that will have us in fits. And then he pulled out a screwdriver. It was supposed to be a pun of his job but no one liked that he brought a screwdriver to a social gathering.As he was getting chucked out, I asked this young man his name. He replied,"Henry Ford, Sir"I said,"Son, you dont have a wife and you are not funny. Take the screwdriver to the place it belongs and lets see what you can do."I'm glad he listened to me. So yea, I'm drinking.I'm sorry Diary that you have to write everything I'm rambling in my head at this moment but thats the least I can do for Dr.Murrigan.This club has so many people. WOW!! I wish every night, every one on this planet could come and party under one roof. Bodies after bodies. Rhythm after beats. Voices after Breathing. Hands after Sky. Ofcourse, they will find someone they dont like or feel uncomfortable with, and it will be very weird but I just...find the idea beautiful. Dont you?Look there are people at the top and people after them and after them. So much of life in this room. Its so amazing to be able to see vibes as colors. I see blue satin grazing sugarcubes, dropping into a lake filled with lotus and painting everything in this room, with bubbles of blackness. So much of life.So much better than 1944 of Berlin, when I stood and saw millions in a place called concentration camp. Oh it was horrible. I was almost blinded by the vibes.I couldn't walk anywhere. But only years later, Rayban came out and I was fine. No surprise there that it was two german guys who made it.Oh great my friends are here. Cool. Now, I wont talk to myself because who knows what I might think or say or realise. Lets just talk to friends.Time of entry:- 11:37 p.m (Earth time)THEY ARE BORING!! I'm telling you, there is something wrong with them. So BIll just decided to pay his car tax in monthly installments instead of quaterly and saved 109$ every year. WHO THE FUCK CARES????? Oh yea, just look at this girl. Man I swear if this girl doesnt shut up right now, I will throw something at her face. On the second thought, she might enjoy it. Gross!! What was I thinking of throwing? Gross Gross!!What should I talk about?? Why dont they want to talk about colors that you can see when you touch your nose? Why dont they talk like jumping from a mountain and sliding down on your face in slow motion? I swear it doesnt hurt but all you feel is the coldness of the ice rubbing against your face.Every year, I do the same thing. I sit here with people I havent seen for a long time and I talk to them. Then its 12 o clock, which is just...just......1 minute different from 11:59 but every human stands up, yells the same incoherent 3 WORDS and sticks out his arms in the air, vulgarly showing off their armpits, and lunges towards each other. Scares the bejesus out of me (God rest his soul). And just one minute later, they are again back in their seats, drinking screwdrivers like nothing just happened. It is fucking insane. You know, to see masses getting controlled in such a way. I think it's the possibility that it can be the real future of humans, when every action/feeling/lungings will be according to a set Earth time which is not even accurate, is most scary.1st Jan:- Smiling day.*Countdown:- 10...9..8..7..6...5...4..3...2...1...SMILEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEand then nothing. Sit down and sip your drink.*4th April:- Handshake day.*What if someone had no hands. Would he hate that day of celebration?*9th Sept:- Walk like an egyptian day.*Imagine people on 8th Sept, 11:59pm, just dying to fucking contort their hands and do the head bob while walking. YAY*STOP.And just when its 00:03 , they give an amazing performance of their forefathers that reminds me of those nice cavemens I spent my early days with.Every one will take out their weapon, that has changed from a rock to nokia. Furiously using their newly discovered movable thumbs, they scream things that reaches my ears and sounds HHHLLAPPPHYYYY NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YAAARAGHGHHGHHHHH......They did the same thing looking at the solar eclipse and I realise the world hasnt changed. How can it?? 30,000 years and still learning to walk.They are cosmic infants. I know. So am I. Our lives got entwined many years back. But that is another story. Or a movie.You might think, a man who has seen everything, who has lived for 30,000 years should know everything. But you know, I dont even know what happens at 11:40 pm. I dont know what happens one minute more than you do. Think of me as a.....practical joke...by time on you. I can tell you eveything that has happened,which is not important at all but I cant tell you one thing about what will happen. That is what time is and I hope people start facing the right way to ask the questions. I have looked this way for 30,000 years and I got nothing, dudes. Nada. Zilch.Oh I have an idea which is very strange for these people but its ok. They found it strange when a shepherd bored from looking at his mundane sheeps looked up and said "I will go there someday." He died after a boring life but as I tuned my TV on, in 1969, I was surprised to see the same soul on moon saying,"One small step for man, one giant leap for Mankind."I had tears in my eyes. He did it. HE PROVED HIMSELF!!I see energies I told you. I have met you before. Is that scary?Back to my idea, I think I'm getting bored of this beauty that I came on earth to see in the first place. Oh my God!! I'm turning human. I think if a man lived in a world of silk all his life, by the time he hits 24/turns alcoholic/has an abortion(women ofcourse)/watches a Shahrukh khan movie/sees Santa with his mom or all the the same time (it happened in Calcutta to a bengali dudes. 1998!! Wasnt good AT ALL), he will start craving for concrete. I dont know what is it with them? He would go and rub his face on the concrete and he will say,"See! I told you this feels so much nicer than that Silk. God, What a change!!!"I want a fucking change. No more doing the same shit over and over again. I do not want another year of People with perspiration problems, lunging at me.11:55 p.m (Earth time.) (PS:- 5 minutes before the Sapiens turns into Erectus. HAPPPHEEEE NEAAAAAAAAAYRRGHHHHHHHHH)I hate my friends. They didnt even notice. I just fucking stood up and walked out. Not that I'm hurt or anything because I dont like them but....but...atleast care man. Care enough to ask so that I can do the same to you! I will walk out like I dont give a fuck. Haha.So here I'm, sitting on a marble slab in this dark dark place where I cant even hear a fucking beep. So different from where I was. Such a change. Oh I forgot to enter.Location:- Woodvale crematorium.Everyone is always running. It's 1st January and they run towards each other. It's time to work and they run towards the door. I dont want to think about that and they run away from a mere thought. You know what I have learnt from my years? When everybody is running, pushing you from every side, nudging you so slightly you dont even know you are running, STOP!! People will run past you and soon there wont be anyone around. Look at the sky then. Look at the ground then. You will see how different it looks and maybe, if you touch your nose then, you might see colors. Pretty colors.I sit with the dead because I want to see the light from a distance. I have stayed in it for too long and I cant appreciate it anymore. Was rubbing my head on a concrete and it felt good. Atleast I thought so.Deads are nicer.They dont have no concept of time. They dont run with it. Time has seized to have any importance to them.I relate to them more than I do to Bill. I think that is why I'm writing this diary.Over those thick Oak trees, I see the club in a distance. That huge phantomly greenish beam of energy streams out from the top, and disappears into the night sky over an amplified guitar distortion. Around me, I see strands of energies, dried and rusted , waiting to fall apart any second. The green beam goes grows stronger every second as the time rolls to 11:59. Its funny that I can only see life energy and its not like more people are coming in and thats why I can see a stronger beam. People remain the same. Its the anticipation. Anticipating something big and nice with that kind off assurity that soon it will happen, and people live more. Created clocks for the same purpose, didnt they?My power of sight went beyond seeing life energies. What would be cool about that? But I saw who lived more? Who glowed more in that same slice of time. I realised this power on an ordinary day in Middle East, when a mad man with beard came and said ,"I WILL, take you the heavens!"As the beam grew around it, he became a leader from a man. The beam keeps growing till today, and the leader became Son of the God.109876543Beam is getting stronger.21...Your browser may not support display of this image.Beam turns into a glistening green sword and tears the sky apart. What happens next is very hard to write about?It rains but not water. It rains air. Is it hard to imagine ? Have you ever seen a river inside oceans? First time I saw it, it baffled me because a Superset is created to nullify the identity of the subset and everything under it is called COMMON.But there it is, maintaining its identity and you can be amazed but you will have to say,"There is a river in Pacific Ocean." Not,"There is water in Pacific Ocean."And it rained air.Hey! I see someone in the dark. WHO IS THERE?I heard yelping sounds from the bush, and walked out an old dog. Coat still gleaming in this harsh winter, his nose was frozen. I put my hands around it instantly, and he sat down. He was enjoying the colors he saw.He knew me just as I knew him. The year was 1886 and I had a dog named Khan. It was years before they realised everyone was an infidel and started ramming planes into buildings, when the name stood for loyalty and bravery. He died of pneumonia in my hand, and I couldnt do anything. People had invented money by that time, and I had none of it. I realised that day, how money played a part in saving a life now. I bet if it was the uncivilized cavemens, they would have tried to save Khan atleast. But no one did.I saw the same energy flowing through him and I knew Khan is back. He found me as I drifted like a stone in a stream."I missed you Khan. I missed you a lot." He licked my hand.I see humans splitting atoms and finding wonderful things inside but they couldnt even unite hot and cold water taps together, during my great university years.And then I say to myself, cosmic infants. No different than me. 30,000 years old and still knowing as much as they do, I cant blame them for anything.HAPPY NEW YEAR.or wait...HAPPPPHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENEAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRJust trying to fit in. Just trying to fit in.

Dated- 15.08.2007It was exactly this moment, ninety days ago that I was lying in a room painted red. Maybe it was the pain pulsating in my chest that made everything seem red or maybe it was my bleeding eyes.My lungs felt like they were made of sandpaper, scraping my insides and it burnt. Excruciating aftershocks of pain rendered me motionless as I lay there, a rubble of myself. Two aura floated around me and I clutched my moms hand. "I want to stay."All this commotion around me, made me more scared. I saw faces after faces,all of them unknown, staring at me.It is not that I have ever been afraid of unknown but I wanted to leave, looking in eyes of someone familiar.I felt a sharp stab in my arm and my heart started racing again. My body was set on fire and I contorted like old branches of Banyaan trees.Hot liquid blobs of water, streamed out of my eyes and the rusted Iron maidens gripped grew tighter. I was drowning in open air. I was burning in mediterranean sea. I was bleeding in a velvet room. I was exploding in a safe.And then, it stopped.Faces became unrecognizable, voices seemed distant and the pain turned into blue fire.It felt like I was standing in an open field, with strong wind blowing against me and suddenly someone put a glass dome over me. I still saw them but I wasnt there.I was waiting to see the light. I was waiting to travel through a tunnel. Instead I saw eyes. Big brown eyes burning under disappointment. Black tears dripped down and became ash. I have known these eyes, since I opened mine. Maybe that is why I saw it today before I closed mine forever. Maybe I saw it because I had known the flood of black tears was coming. Did you see I bled red even before the flood came?It doesnt matter now anyways. I will never have a chance to tell you anything, even though there is so much to say, so much to show.But the eye stayed. It looked at me with a telekynetic attraction and I felt I had support. I could stand up. The world swirled arond me but this eye kept staring at me from the book cover.I was now standing directly under a maelstrom and the current was pulling me down. And then someone switched off the light.Getting your body tossed around in complete darkness can be scary but I didnt get scared. I saw hundreds of those eyes, in this dark pond bubbling to the surface, asking me to follow it.I was still feeling like a puppet of some back-alley puppeteer from Phat Island, when I glowed. A strange kind of pain radiated through my hand and I shone for a second. The light illuminated the water and I saw black jellyfishes coming towards me. I shone again and now my arm burnt. Silver wound appeared on it and started spreading everywhere. The water felt hotter and hotter as it touched my skin when I was suddenly a feather.A hawk feather blowing on mountain tops, riding the wind, going higher than the bird has ever been. The warm sunlight was pleasing to my eyes and there was no pain.Time jumped and made me a stone. Heavy as lead, I was falling down the sky and I could hear people again. People who open their mouths because they just want to say something. I heard glasses clanking and electricity seared through me.I was on the bed again, writhing in pain. I was every electron of the power surging through me, branching into my veins. I felt my body being formed again. I felt every bone rattling and muscles forming to cushion them.I sank in to my bed like a deflated balloon. The defibrillators sound slowly died down as my heartbeat grew louder.Reasons. An illusion to make yourself content with what just happened. But I couldnt find any. It made no sense to me.If its the survival of the fittest, I can assure you Im not one of the fittest. Im certainly not the smartest. So Why?I woke up in this world again, screaming a name. I have never trusted myself with anything, but dead bodies never lie. Words get twisted in this world, intentions get lost over fibre optic cables and doing the bravest thing makes you look like you are the weakest, but eyes never lie. My body has never lied. Neither has yours.Its funny that I had to die once to know about life. But I can tell you now, if you ask me.Life is just a fleeting moment you spend backstage, before the curtain is pulled and you face an audience expecting so much from you. Best thing to do in this situation is close your eyes as you feel your fingers tapping on the metal strings and rev up the distortion. Music will flow just about right and you will be creating something that cannot be seen but only be heard. Keep playing till there are puddles of lactic acid in your body, forcing you to stop. But dont. Listen to me, Dont stop playing.The show can stop any second and the exit will be to your right. The audience will go home and wont even talk about you while having their dinner. But between that moment and this, keep tapping your fingers and creating things thats invisible but more real than this life we lead.Thanks you