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Rose

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Location: Charlotte, NC
Zipcode: 28210
Country: US

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Dreads, school, lonliness.

2012-10-19
By: Rose
Posted in:

I've been meaning to make a post for a while, to let out all the things I've been thinking about lately. I could never get around to it though lol. But now I've got a cold, and nothing to do but sit on the couch and watch tv. This is gonna be long, but here it goes...

Only one of my friends knows I'm dreading. He's been supportive since I first told him I wanted dreads. I did have to explain the natural method to him, but he was supportive of it once I did. A few weeks ago he touched my hair and I moved away. because I'm always afraid people are going to finger comb it. He was all like "oh yeah I forgot you were getting dreads", then he started jumping up and down and going "when are you gonna have dreads?".

Then like, two weekends ago he told me "if I had magic powers I would zap dreads onto your head" lol. I told him I wouldn't let him. It's weird because even though he is supportive, I feel like he doesn't really understand why I'm dreading. It makes me feel lonely because I don't know if anyone really understands. My dad does, but that's not the same as having a friend that understands.

I'm nervous for when my hair really starts to get crazy. So far everything is good, but I'm only a little less than two months. People at school are noticing, and that's actually exciting. I'm happy that people can tell because it means my hair must be progressing, but it's still scary to think what will happen when everyone notices.

The majority of the students at my school are black, with Hispanic coming in second, then white, Asian, etc. The only kids I know with dreads have African-textured hair, and they just twist their hair. The culture around dreads at my school is very different then what I associate them with. Girls at my school also spend a lot of time cutting, dying, flat-ironing, doing all sorts of things to their hair. I'm nervous that when they start to notice my hair they'll think I'm nasty. I already don't fit in all that well, and I like to avoid trying to explain the things I do because it never works out for me.

Also everyone at my school seems to create a big riff between races. Everyone brings so much attention to race. They other day my friend said to my other friend "black people don't wear headbands". For clarification they are both black, and he was teasing her for wearing a headband. I asked him what he meant by that, and I started to get agitated. He told me not to take him seriously, but it's hard not to get annoyed because I hear so many ignorant statements every day. I get asked things like "do I listen to white people music", or if I listen to "that rock music stuff". I mean complete strangers ask me those things! One time this girl kept calling me Sarah before she asked me what my name was, and I was so offended, she also called a Hispanic kid Pablo. I wish someone could say something to her, but people are so aggressive at my school that no one speaks up to them.

I'm nervous that people will figure out I'm dreading (I'm not telling anyone, even after my hair gets knotty) that they'll think I'm crazy cause "white people can't have dreads". Or because no one at my school knows you can get dreads by not brushing, no one I have talked to anyway. I can't believe it! I'm just scared to become "that girl who doesn't brush her hair". I don't want people to make school hell for me, I already hate it.

My friends are generally nice and smart, but don't seem to understand me. It's hard because there are tons of people at my school who hate me, and then I have these friends who are there for me and everything... but I still don't relate with them.

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On a more positive note, I'm so happy with my hair. It's doing great so far. Sections with little fuzzy knots in them :) it looks fuller too, feels thicker. I love to look at it in the mirror, and to find all the sections I can consider baby dreads. Woohoo!

Tazz
10/25/12 03:13:44AM @tazz:

High school can be really tough with all those hormones flying around and judgemental people. But don't worry, in the grand scheme of things, this too shall pass. This is just a blip in what will be the rest of your life.

And the good part is, high school is not a representation of how the rest of your life is going to be. So, stay strong and rise above.

Unfortunately, there will always be people who judge others and say mean things or act in an ignorant fashion. You cannot change how other people feel or think, just how you feel about yourself. If you feel positive about yourself, it won't matter as much what other people think. Ha easier said than done. I know!

It's tough to find people to really connect with, but it seems like some of your friends are trying. They may never get to know you the way you want, but you'll meet plenty of other good people in your lifetime who may.

Stay strong, stay beautiful, and try to have some fun.

Tazz

P.S. I must be getting mellower with age.


Star Gryphon
10/25/12 02:27:46AM @star-gryphon:

well...take it one day at a time....

some of may be able to help with different specific issues. :)


Jaimie Nadeau
10/25/12 02:14:33AM @jaimie-nadeau:

This post is what got me to finally create my own account. I had the same issues with high school so I can totally relate. Minus the dread issues any way.

FIRST of all. Propz to you for goin all natural girl! so sick!

but fuck what every one else says man, they can stare or make as many comments as they want, but your doing dreads, right?! a whole part of having dreads is being able to let that go, look past it, and be unfathomed by what anyone says. my own boyfriend asks me to cut my hair everyday and I just ignore him. I love my dreadies and thats what matters to me!


ginger.rose
10/19/12 09:52:08PM @gingerrose:
Amen

Mons
10/19/12 03:10:52PM @mons:
High school can be such a horrible shitty place, even more so if you stand out. I never felt comfortable in jr high/high school. I hated it.If it comes to it, people are asking stupid questions about your hair habits, explain simply that you do in fact wash frequently. Have them smell your hair if you're comfortable with it. If they try to debate tell them that you know what you're doing, it's your head not theirs then walk away. If they don't want to understand or accept then they aren't worth the time and energy.

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