So just recently I decided for sure I'm going to San Diego with only clothes in my bag and on my back...(along with my toothbrush etc...lol) and Just hopping on a plane and going, nothing waiting for me but freedom and whatever I want to do...oh and $200 bucks in my pocket, lol.
I have emptied my apartment...donated 100+ CDs, DVDs and Books to the library...5 Bags of clothes to the clothing drop...and man....
I'M ACTUALLY DOING THIS???!!!
I'm living MY life...the one IIII always wanted, the one IIII always dreamed of?
OMg........I am. *smiles inside*
I grew up in a household where basically your life was already set for you...you were told that you love Jesus, when you got old enough, you got a job to help pay for bills, kicked out at 18 no matter what, then you'd have no choice in sexual orientation and would marry the sex that was "made by god for you", then you'd buy a house, have the babies...have a career, make lots of money, retire and die.
Just... as so, the way they're supposed to be, living the dreams of your mother, father...just as Latin American Conservative Christian as you can imagine....
But I lost my mind trying...literally total mental melt down...and I ended up losing or giving up on all the things I tried to want so bad...cuz I never wanted them...
No I didn't fit in...not into MY family not into AMERICA's perfect picture of a family...nowhere...except here *points to heart* and now I see that's all that matters, and it's ok...
To go AGAINST THE GRAIN.
To not SWIM WITH THE REST OF TROUT.
To not WORK WITH THE REST OF THE ANTS.
To be the creator, and not created...
I N D E P E N D E N C E
and now MY dreams are coming true...and I don't care HOW crazy they sound!
I love myself....