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Since I was a teenager I was always doing things that my parents and family disapproved of.  I wore all black with chains and straps.  I dyed my hair all sorts of funky colours.  I gauged my ears out, and pierced anywhere I wanted to.  Mohawks were not an uncommon hair style for me either, and I never once gave a second thought to how or why my whole family didn't like it.  

I did.  So that's all that mattered.

Maybe that is why I never cared about people's reactions to me when I started to grow my locks.  I knew they looked goofy and haphazard when they were forming, but I loved them and knew that in the end they would look great and not like a mangy cat anymore.

I hear so many people talking about cutting their locks or combing them out because they got tired of hearing all of the negative remarks family members and even strangers make about their hair.

I don't know what it was that I went through that made me not give a rats ass about other peoples negative and bigoted comments.  I grew up in a conservative Jewish home, where anything out of the normal was frowned upon.  Maybe that did it.  I was so sheltered that I had to find some way to express myself, and could not let anyone, even family, tell me that I was wrong.  

So when I read posts about others going through those doubts, I just can't imagine it.  It might sound like rebellion is a bad thing, but everyone needs to go through a phase of it to become their own person.  It might have been easier for me, given my upbringing, but it's the natural order of growing up.  

If you stop caring about what others think about you, you expand your chances of becoming an individual instead of part of the machine.  

Sure that stage goes away in time.  I still don't care what others think about me, but I am not doing anything, anymore, just to get a rise out of people.  

When you get past the shock value of the rebellious stage, you just become you.  People expect it of you, and they don't openly judge you for it.  Their might be some deep seeded feelings, but it no longer is something that is talked about openly.

Give in to yourself.  

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Tags: Cutting, Rebellion, combing, comments, family, fear, judging, locks, negative, strangers


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Comment by Baba Fats on August 10, 2012 at 7:30pm

I agree with cutting for charity.  I always wanted to start a real "locks for love" program.  My wife grows her hair out, and every year or so donates it.  They can get at least 2-3 wigs out of her 1 years growth.  My hair is not that thick, but I thought about it, and figured that if I ever cut it, I would learn how to make a wig out of it and give it to some cancer patient kid.  Maybe if enough people with locks got together We could start a real organization for it

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Comment by Don J on August 10, 2012 at 12:08pm

I laughed at myself while reading this... For sure, parents could of bin more understanding and lately they bin liking the "new me". I pierced my lip twice because my mother went and got a nose stud while on vacation in BC with out me. My tattoo first I payed for, but being underage (16then) my mother had to sign for it lmao... she loves my tattoo... the school on the other hand... they told me to cover it up all the time and I wouldn't. School was the start of it for me, because they thought they could control a free open mind? They also hated my smoking habits, that got me kick out of school and my parents.

When it came to the dreads, I was going to lose my job because of my long straight hair... with it dreaded I just didn't care and it gave me what I feel was an extra couple days working because they didn't know what to think till it got messy. To me its bin society and governments fighting me and who I am. Living poverty in canada was hard, life had its kicks, but we all live and learn.

Thank you Baba, this made me think SCREW society and my dreads look awesome because of this site. If I ever cut my hair I PROMISE to only do it for charity.

dread gurus
Comment by Baba Fats on June 4, 2012 at 10:02am

It's true.  There was a member here a long time ago who's boyfriend was totally against her having locks.  It's sad that you could be with someone so long and not know that they care about such little things.  But it's no different than other spouses who do things we don't like.  It takes time, but after a while you learn what's important.  Anyone you date is a learning experience.  In the end, you hopefully  figure out what is important to you

dread gurus
Comment by Tara C on June 3, 2012 at 11:58pm

You know, it's funny, I have the same mentality towards it as you do, without the expressions. I haven't done anything like that, piercings, tattoos, different hairstyles, clothing styles, etc. I've always stayed the same. I guess because I always knew my parents would accept whatever I wanted to do, so I didn't feel the need to explore it, whereas now I feel like...I'm more myself than I used to be. But yeah, I used to get bullied a lot, so I developed the inability to really care. As long as you, yourself, are happy, the people who are important should (and eventually will) accept it, and be happy that you're comfortable being who you are. And the people who judge you for it are...well, idiots. People who would rather insult people than, at the very least, show basic respect and stay quiet are not worth getting upset about, and certainly not worth hiding who you are.

dread gurus
Comment by Baba Fats on June 3, 2012 at 10:36pm

That's exactly how I feel.  I just decided to make this blog today because of a conversation I got into.  It seemed the right time.

My rebellion got me into some trouble.  I got mixed up in a bad crowd for a while, there.  But I grew as a person and learned fast about who were good people to be friends with.  One of my "friend" I knew since I was 2 years old.  We were inseparable.  But he got me into trouble with the cops more times that I would like to remember.  I stopped talking to him years ago.  But even though I wish I had learned my lesson sooner, I learned it eventually.  

dread gurus
Comment by ☮ soaring eagle ॐ on June 3, 2012 at 9:59pm

intersting post and im surprised i hadnt read it yet cause this comments gonna be long since i had alot iof simularities ok my family was the same but worse..even when i was in high school they r]tried to control how i dressed  my hair  every aspect  of my personality my music  everything..

so i started my rebelion

i bleached a lil hair.. i got in alotta trouble..i peirced an got ripped out hours later beforw and after school i started getting changed in the shed so i could wear what i wanted (which got wilder,..and..odder every year haha) they used to even tackle me and pin me down to cut my hair  so when i made my break i went through all the mohawks and peircing everything stages too and quickly then into drading

my 1st set..was wild i think its funny when ppl wantthem tame and tidy cause  mine were ..crazy..i had dread horns and a beavertail and i didnt care i loved emthere sure wernt any dreads like em

im not sayin my rebelion didnt get m in trouble from time to time  b ut it did finaly set me free to be me..the dready

so its important to be a rebel  to have the strength to stand up and not be a clone

dread gurus
Comment by Baba Fats on June 3, 2012 at 9:31pm

So thinking about this title, I came to realize that many people might interpret "rebellion" as being "anti-insert whatever you'd like".  This is not always the case.  Rebellion is rejection.  Rejection of what others consider normal is a form of rebellion.  Even us hippies who believe in freedom and love are rebelling against the status quo.  

Whenever you are doing something to free yourself, (including growing locks) you are reject whatever is caging you.  You are rebelling against your captors.  

dread gurus
Comment by Baba Fats on June 3, 2012 at 11:23am

I stretched them from a 12 to a 0 in one shot.  So I had some major tearing and bleeding and scarring going on.  Even now, the holes aren't lined up perfectly and when I wear tunnels you can see that they aren't in the exact same direction.  

Same with me, though.  I told them about my first tat, but I didn't tell them about my back until my mom saw it.  She flipped.  She doesn't really mind that I have it, but she never wants to see it again.  I think she's upset that she think I wont be able to be buried in a jewish cemetery.  I never wanted to be, anyway.  

And she thinks that I'm too "old" to get tats and have earrings.  But she tries to insist on going to the dr.'s with me.  I'm 26

Comment by Rainbow Fortune on June 3, 2012 at 11:15am

Here nobody really respects the law, so it wasn't a problem. And the guy the did it was the brother of my best friend's boyfriend. In fact, I only told my parents about the dove tattoo, and only after it was done. They found about others eventually, but by seeing them, not me telling them. I did not consider it something they should be consulted about, or anything of the sort. :D

Well, I did tear them a little, because I first tried stretching them with a toothpick. That did not turn out so well. :D

dread gurus
Comment by Baba Fats on June 3, 2012 at 10:20am

They were 00, but now it closed to about a 10 in my left ear and a 6 in my right.  You can't tell from looking at them.  They just look pierced.  But not droopy.  

My jewish parents would never have let my get s tats.  So I had to wait til I was legal.  18 in Pa.  It hasn't been a year since my last one so I can't donate yet.  And probably won't be able to for a while, cause I do keep planning on getting more and more.  

You're lucky.  

0's might close up a bit more than mine did.  I also did some major damage while gauging my ears.  If you did yours slowly, then you'll be fine

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