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crafty crafters Comment by Valérie on May 2, 2012 at 10:12pm

Awe Stephani, just try to think positively.  Eventually things will ease up between you guys, especially since you are so close.  Maybe once her other stresses are relieved she will realize just how small a problem, such as hair, is to a relationship.  After all, at some point she has to think that you are working in the hair industry and there is some validation to what you are doing as well as still being received by said industry.

Chin up!

hair-scalp health experts Comment by Stephani on May 2, 2012 at 9:26pm

Thanks James!

So we went over. It was awkward, which is weird. BUT, She said nothing about my dreads. and I didn't bring it up. I did notice though, that she would hardly look at me. It's strange to me to not be getting along with my mom. Her and I have always been so close and it's weird and sad to me that something like this would be putting a strain on our relationship. :( It's kind of putting a damper on my whole attitude. I'm really trying not to think about it though.

vip supporters Comment by James Turk on May 2, 2012 at 7:51pm

Good luck!!!

hair-scalp health experts Comment by Stephani on May 2, 2012 at 5:19pm

Tara- my mom likes to say she isn't very conservative, but all signs point to yes HAHA. I've tried to educate her on the myths and what not. I don't think she was listening completely, or really just didn't want to hear it.

Valerie- You are right. She has a lot going on with her work and stress from there, which is why I'm kind of trying to stay back for a bit and not add any more stress. I feel bad for picking now when she's got that stress, to start my dreading process. I knew if I didn't finally start though that I might never.

UPDATE: I just actually talked to her on the phone and she seemed a bit better. Didn't bring dreads up, but my husband and I are taking our son and dog's over to her house (she has a huge yard) to play. So we shall see how everything goes, now that I'm almost completely dreaded. I'll update when I get home later! Keep your fingers crossed haha!

crafty crafters Comment by Valérie on May 2, 2012 at 4:33pm

Tara is right, that is an extreme reaction.  Does she do this every time you do something she doesn't approve of?  (My friends mom does and she does it as a way to make my friend feel bad so that she caves)

It almost makes me think that there is something else that might be bothering her... is that a possibility?

dread gurus Comment by Tara C on May 2, 2012 at 4:22pm

That seems like such an exaggerated reaction. How can someone feel so anti-dreading, particularly when it makes you happy? It's not like your mum is insanely conservative (at least, from reading this, it doesn't seem like it), so why such the hugely negative reaction? Ask her why it offends her so much and explain to her the misconceptions behind dreads, as well as the fact that it makes you feel happy, and that's what life is all about. Why would she want you to sacrifice happiness and a sense of identity?

hair-scalp health experts Comment by Stephani on May 2, 2012 at 2:31pm

Good idea! I'll do that :)

dread gurus Comment by ☮ soaring eagle ॐ on May 2, 2012 at 2:18pm

send the letter to your sister have your sister read it to her

hair-scalp health experts Comment by Stephani on May 2, 2012 at 2:14pm

Thank you all so much for being so kind, understanding and helpful!! I seriously appreciate it so much!

So here's an update: I have not talked to my mom since Sunday. I've tried calling, but no answer, or returned calls. I've emailed her a letter, which I'm not sure if she read yet, and my sister has told me she's(my mom) still not happy about it all. I guess only time will tell.

crafty crafters Comment by Nogawar on May 2, 2012 at 12:57pm

You've brought a tear to my eye. A few, really. I'm sorry your mom reacted this way. My own mother is often snarky about new things, as is my mother-in-law. I am a persistent little shit, and I am quite happy at posting useful info on their facebook walls to show them the flip side of the coin. I'm lucky in that, with them, it works. My mom was less than thrilled the last time I gushed over someone's dreads in public, so I haven't much mentioned this yet, or the fact that my 13 year old is letting his buzz cut grow out, eventually also into dreads. 

Sorry, I ramble. Anyways, be patient as your mom adjusts. Her initial reaction certainly is devastating. Educate her gently, and if you are keeping a diary about your day to day transformations, maybe share that with her. It will take time, but keep calm and dread on. ~Jen

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