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Profile Information

About Me
Why I locked my hair…

When I was 20 years old my step-mom told me that “When you are 27 years old, you are going to be a completely different person then who you are now.” She didn’t want me to box myself in.
One day when I was 27 years old, I woke up and my first thought was “I can’t live like this one more second.” It rocked my world. I had been acquiring possession for the sake of my 9 year relationship and “my future”. I was possessed by my possessions. I had been working in a job I hated, because I made a lot of money. I had thought that I was free in my relationship, but I found that I was only free when he approved. He was 24 years older than me and he said that the things I wanted to do where crazy fantasies, that I had to wake up, that I had to grow up. But that was the very problem, these “fantasies” were my dreams, I had very much so woken up, and it was time to grow.
I tried to stay with him while reclaiming my right to change; one day he turned violent. I left. He stalked me for the next 3½ years. So he would not be joining me in my journeys, and he was going to make sure the trip was long and hard for me and anyone who helped me.
I stayed working. I was the door girl at a strip club and had been for 5 years. I had always heard how I have to look a certain way in order to be “pretty”, “ugly” was bad for business. Their idea of “pretty and ugly” didn’t match up with mine. I argued that many men found these “ugly” to be beautiful inside and out. I told them that there ideas of beauty were not shared by the whole population. My pleas where seen and treated as if they were naïve. I was tired of being possessed by ideas of “pretty”.
Three months after I left almost everything that owned me, I went to my first National Rainbow Gathering. This was something I always wanted to do. I had been going to the Ocala gathering for 10 years, but only 2 to 3 days a year, “approval issues”. The trip involved flying to California, hooking up with a friend of a friend who had a unconverted school bus, driving (I drove the bus most the way) to Modoc for 12 days at the site, followed by 4 days exploring Mount Shasta and Agate Beach, and ended with two missed flights. All along the way I was searching myself, trying to find who I really am becoming. Also along the way I started hand pulling my ‘starter’ dreads. I left a girl named April and seventeen days later returned a fledgling dready sister named Dirty Momma.
I was tired of playing the role of “pretty”. I wanted a new role…me! I didn’t care who thought I was pretty or not. I started my dreads by hand. I didn’t use wax. I didn’t roll them. In the beginning my dreads were not “pretty”. My ex ridiculed me. My bosses told me that if it “hurt” business I would be let go. Most of my friends thought that I “shouldn’t mess up my ‘beautiful’ hair”. Ironically the only person I remember telling me it was a great plan was my hair dresser, Cleo.
For me dreading my hair was a commitment to be true to me, no matter what others thought of the matter. It was time to have faith in me; it was time to claim my crown. Growing up my mom said “To thy own self be true, for when all is said and done, you have to live with you.”
For the next few years, my ex was still stalking me. Eight months after I dreaded my hair, he got me fired from the job (can you say blessing!). He sent threatening letters to me, my mom, my friends, and my room mates. He started a web page dedicated to slandering me, the rainbow, my friends and family. He sued me; while I had to pay all the bills at the house he was in to save my credit. He hated me and after a long while I started to hate him back.
For these years my dreads were not “pretty”, but to me they where fierce. I was finding the true beauty in me and in others. I am now glad my ex put me through hell; I now know how strong I can be. I have risen above the hating him too. I come to higher levels of understanding. There is no good or bad, everything just is. I became beautiful in ways my hair had nothing and everything to do with.
When I was almost 31 years old, I finally was blessed with justice. With my dread in full view and glory, in a patchwork skirt I represented my self in court against my ex and won. I kicked his attorney’s ass. I was granted a lifetime Order of Protection. I had not said or written one word to this man attacking me for 3 years. Now I got to stand up for me and hear the judge do the same! The entire nightmare ended in what I can only describe as a daydream fantasy.
All the while my hair was twisting, bulging and joining locks. I rip them apart every once in a while. I have rolled them maybe 15 times. It has been over 5 years. In the last 1½ years, I have been hearing that my hair is beautiful, that my dreads are “pretty”. And they are, but know that to me they are for different reasons most would think.

PS Proof readers are welcome!!!
How long have you been dreading?
Since June 2004

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Dirty Momma Funk's Blog

The Great Spirit Prayer

Posted on April 12, 2010 at 2:35pm 4 Comments

Great Spirit Prayer

"Oh, Great Spirit, whose voice I hear in the wind,

Whose breath gives life to all the world.

Hear me; I need your strength and wisdom.

Let me walk in beauty, and make my eyes ever behold the red and purple sunset.

Make my hands respect the things you have made and my ears sharp to hear your voice

Make me wise so that I may understand the things you have taught my people.

Help me to remain calm… Continue

Dirty In The Wind

Posted on April 12, 2010 at 2:33pm 1 Comment

Tittering on the edge of what has been and what will be….

What I have seen and what I’m going to see….

One moment is up and the next is down,

Sad about what has past and ecstatic about what’s coming around.

This transition is just a phase,

These emotions are just a maze.

History left me dazed,

Potential making me amazed.

You can hear me laugh while I cry

You can hear me welcome today while I say good-bye.

You can see me smile while I… Continue

Second Best

Posted on October 28, 2009 at 12:44pm 0 Comments

Sometimes I feel like I am the honorable mention,

I am the “nothing better to do”,

I am the rut you’re stuck in,

Just a temporary fix to you.

Tried of feeling second class to the one that got away,

Tried of feeling the best has passed, so with me you might as well stay.

I am not made to be the center of the world, just the center to one.

The communion I seek in life cannot be altered, changed, or undone.

I think how can I feel safe?

I wonder… Continue

My Labels

Posted on October 24, 2009 at 5:52pm 1 Comment

Human, woman, white, hippie, gypsy, Rainbow, Rennie, Dirty Momma Funk Snuffapuffafukalotagus, Libertarian, Liberal, Gun Owner, Soulmate, Daughter, Mother, God-Mother, Sister, Cousin, friend, artist, home owner, General Manager, ex-girlfriend, future girlfriend, musician, citizen, constitutionalist, singer, poet, trash, legend, environmentalist, blogger, pedestrian, fortunate, clown, comedian, naturalist, humanist, deist, teacher, student, Christian, pagan, Buddhist, guru, trill seeker,… Continue

Carnel Confessions

Posted on October 24, 2009 at 5:50pm 5 Comments

In masturbation my thoughts are lost,

Jumping from scenes to seen,

Sexuality streams from my mind,

Altering from fantasies to heartaches and broken dreams.

But I must digress,

It is really sheer loneliness that I must confess….

Each nocturnal session,

Is plagued by more than just an erection.

Sub-conscious mists of love and trust,

Keeps driving me to overcome the call of meaningless lust.

I reach deep into myself,

While fighting off my… Continue

Comment Wall (31 comments)

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At 2:05pm on February 22, 2011, Charlotte said…
Wow you are a complete inspiration. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
At 8:48pm on November 4, 2010, Stovar said…
Why are you cutting them down?
At 8:46pm on November 4, 2010, Stovar said…
No way!! you play the didgeridoo? That's awesome!! I've been playing for almost a year now, it would be awesome to get together and play for ol' big Senator Tree. Did you go to paralounge? I sure did and it was amazing, went on friday. Anyway, let I know if interested. this page I created to get didge players to join and create didge circles!! Good day...
At 6:09am on August 5, 2010, colbi godlove said…
Powerful story, my mom has an ex ( ex next 11th thank god and sadly my dad ) Who makes and made our lifes hell atm his latest thing was getting me,bro,sis taken away from a great person, you bring me great inspiration for justice, God bless, have a great life, peace.
P.S, I love your dreads! hope mine form alright, somedays my hairs wavy somedays straight like, 6 months nature negect, in your locks locks the story you have told, That makes your dreads even more better!
At 4:38am on July 7, 2010, Dready Mimi said…
Do ya know how much I loves ya sisiter?
At 9:11pm on June 19, 2010, Lindsay said…
Just finished reading your story, very inspirational.
At 1:18pm on June 19, 2010, Cage Free said…
I love your sweet story. It's so honest and makes me want to know you. Thank you for sharing yourself.


At 1:51am on June 2, 2010, Joshua said…
thanks for sharing your story
one love
At 4:06pm on April 23, 2010,
vip supporters
Jason Escoffery
Thanks for the kind words DMF I appreciate it. One Love!
At 10:03am on April 15, 2010, celestine✿۞ said…
haha i really love it:)and i dont mind the photo shop work on it at all!!!
it is brilliant!!!
i am sure it must have been difficult to get such a shot!!
but the result is just amazing;)

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