don't hate me because I'm beautiful!
So yesterday I tried to get an appointment with my primary, who was unable to see me until wednesday, so I took myself to the ER. Don't you just love good old fashioned discrimination? I personally love it...NOT!I went alone thinking my sinus infection would not put me on as a top priority and the kids would be more work for me than anything else. So I put the oldest in charge (he's 14) and took my tam that I am knitting and drove across town to the hosp.I tell the admitting secretary that I am in horrible pain from my sinuses and that it is my medical opinion that it is a sinus infection and I need antibiotics before it gets any worse. She just looks at me... "you said you are in pain" umm it feels like a tractor trailer ran over my head... "so are you looking for pain medication?" dip tird, I need antibiotics... "ok go over there and a nurse will tell you where to go." so I go and wait...Now I know that we all have a personal responsibility to look a certain way in order not to draw attention to ourselves. We should invest in products and services advertised in the main stream media in order to fit in with the rest of society but it has never felt right to me. I felt stress as a teen because I never had the money to wear designer logos or the cool shoes. My life was revolutionized when I met Sara G. This friend spent a whole year on wardrobe fashions. One year she was on safari so all her clothes reflected it! The next she went all gypsy and had a great time with it! She told me that yeah kids laugh and ask stupid questions but she does what she likes and she isn't hurting anyone! Wow, at that time I was trying so hard to fit in... but she had purple hair, was as tom as she wanted to be and dressed "like a freak" which only translated to AWESOME! So thank You Sara!So now I have dreadlocks and was dressed like shy violet (rainbow brights friend) only crossed with little house on the prairy. Sniffling and knitting away. behind the little curtain I hear an elderly lady telling her daughter in law some of her symptoms (dry mouth, painful hard belly, difficulty swallowing, dizzyness, frequent urination) and asking for a drink. Her daughter in law tells her no you can't drink any water, just wait a while. Lady was only getting more stressed. tells the nurse about all meds and recent changes. I waited till the nurse left and told the daughter from behind the curtain that her mother in law is dehydrated, ask for some water and tell them about the new med. She is also constipated due to dehydration and it is common for this med to cause this. Oh my was she receptive, you think so? I told her I work with the elderly and I see this from time to time when they are adjusting the meds.They leave for some tests and meanwhile the doctor comes in to see me. "So, you're in pain. Tell me on a scale of 1 to 10." no I feel like I can handle the pain I just can't wait fro next week for antibiotics because I have an infection that will not go away. "are you currently on any drugs?" which comes with a look like your eyes are red from smoking like cheech or are there needle marks some place? No, nothing like that.So as I am rolling out of there the lady next curtain over comes back and asks the other nurse where the lady in the next curtain was (me) I introduce myself and tell her that I hope her mother in law recovers and that I will add her to my prayer list. She seemed more suprised that I prayed!So after this ordeal I get my prescriptions and head to the pharmacy where I get the nervous looks from some people.I guess it shouldn't bother me. Usually I have the kids with me so I am more concerned with not losing one or more of them while in the store. I don't concern myself with how I am perceived by others. At work I am confident. My peers might think I have a screw loose but my residents see me and they are so happy they all ask if I will be visiting them and are so happy when I tell them yes! One lady asked me why I don't brush my hair before coming to work. I told her I didn't want to waste a minute of my day that would keep me away from seeing her! She just smiled!I keep my affirmation strong.I am Pranee. A red haired dread locked Gemini. A strong mother, a good wife, a good friend. I am a decent Christian with a testimony to share. I like tattoos, music, and dancing in a field. I am on my way to becoming a hospice nurse. For now I am in nursing and love the experience. I am going to be me no matter what!So I am done. Felt good to get it all out... So, how do you deal with people being negative toward you based on appearance?