True Happiness

Happiness is sometimes hard to achieve. I've been happy alot in my life, sometimes happier sometimes less but still happy.

I'm just wondering what is the reason that "i" don't want to achieve it.

Yesterday i got a best girlfriend for my self i can imagine, she is as close to perfection as person for me could be.

She is made for me, atleast i feel like that, everything about her so close to best i can imagine.

I've been happy for long time before and i've always wondered how i will feel when i reach that point where i "have it all" Ofc i don't but in my mind i do. Before i thought why i never could get a perfect girl for me, i always thought i deserve it, but now i really feel like i don't deserve her, it aint no pity , oh noes, it's just the way i think, and this reduces my happiness.

So the question is, why am i not allowing i to be happy. :o