My "Dread"ed Journey 1 Month
Wow! I looked back at all my notes and posts and realized that I started this journey only 30 days ago, yet strangely enough it feels like forever. I say this only because this journey started out from a state of "knot" knowing anything, and yet wanting this so badly.
I have a long way to go, and in the last 30 days, I haven't friended anyone, not because I do not want to, but because I feel like I have been this needy baby dready taking a tremendous risk and believing I was ready for it, but realizing I had not anticipated the reality of it. In reality I am transforming as my dreads form. The insecurity I felt initially, the fear of screwing it up with what little hair I had, has made me realize the reality of this spiritual journey.
I admit to impatience, I saw all the lovely photos and thought I could be one of those people who had beautiful locks after 2 weeks, but this was not reality and i realized that the dreading was happening but not as i anticipated. Today at day 30, I have probably 3 or 4 honest dreads forming. My hair loves the baking soda wash, and the ACV. In fact, I have started using it on my 16-year old daughter (Thank you so much Soaring Eagle) who has bi-racial hair and her scalp was flaky and we tried for more than a year to make it go away, but nothing worked. The BS rinse and ACV rinse was a miracle! And best of all, it brought the curls out of her hair more than the high priced product we bought at the mall boutique. It was also a bonding experience for us with me doing her hair.
My husband has become much more relaxed with my journey and seems to be embracing it more. I would say he has been lovingly indulgent of the experience. He has seen that I do not allow myself to just let myself be wild. He sees me mix up the rinses, and tend my baby locks (which are virtually invisible) and realizes that this has been a joyful experience.
I will admit, at the beginning of the week I was going to quit the journey. My hair was lying about the face and I had only scraggle rock. Yet when I got home from school that afternoon I looked in the mirror and I took the scraggle and I gently twisted it back from my face, straight back. I took those little itty bitty clips and I clipped it and let the rest scraggle away....and guess what, I liked it. It allowed me a compromise. Now I see the dreads forming and I realize it will be one here and another there for awhile, but I will not look to the destination but enjoy the journey.
I have done the sea salt spray, and that helps with my hairs natural tendancy to smooth out. It seems like after my wash day it feels like the dreads have disappeared, but by the next day, they pop out again. Eventually I figure they won't feel like they have washed out.
I am glad to see so many people who started at the new year like me, and will read of others whose journey is similar to mine. I will not lose heart...at least not today.