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i was convinced that my hair would not dread on it's own...and thought that even if it did do something it would probably end up an ugly mat in the back of my head. i really didn't give the natural method much thought at all and jumped right into tnr (which was TONS of work)...but my hair kept rejecting my sectioning (splitting in two where i wanted it to be one and twisting in an unwanted direction) and i was obsessing on it way too much. i was worried the sections my daughter did were not right and were going to cause me problems down the road.  i began to dread my dreads. my poor family is probably so sick of me talking about my dread issues.  i've sectioned and resectioned 3 times trying to get it "right" and trying to control how big or small they were and predict their size in the future. yes, i had some ok dreads going on (especially underneath in the back)...but overall, they were just really tight stiff braidy things with no wiggle room for the natural dreading process.

so....

all these woes made me stop and ask myself : why do i want dreads?

of course i think they look great but mostly it is because i want to be natural and have low maintenance hair. unfortunately, by trying to speed up the process and take control of the situation, i have made it UN-natural and HIGH maintenance!

what was the solution?

to do what i should have done in the first place.

so...now i have untangled them with a bamboo skewer and i am ready to go totally natural: no combing, just wash and separate. if my hair dreads, so be it..if it doesn't, then it doesn't. i want the real thing...not a manufactured mess.

 

 

i am grateful for this site and all that i have learned here. at first i thought a lot of the hair talk was nonsense though...people talking as if their hair had moods, an appetite, a will of it's own! i thought, no... i am going to tell my hair what to do and not the other way around! but all that just made me miserable and a bit neurotic.

i have adjusted my thinking and am letting go. what will be will be.

i surrender.

 

(wasn't sure what category to put this is under...i chose the saved dreads success stories category even though i do not have dreads yet. i just believe that due to the information found here and my decision to go natural, my hair will be better for it...i am walking by faith)

 

*view my timeline here: http://www.dreadlockssite.com/forum/topics/white-gurl-w-straight-hair

Tags: natural, neglect

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Replies to This Discussion

hugs i love this and i'm featuring it

beautifully written

and i know they'll make u very happy and less neurotic :) heehee hugs

i'm still smilling :)

 

Love it :)
heavenly.
Right On!!!
Aww, this made me smile. Good for you, girl!!! surrender= sanity :)
Great Post! You are so pretty and your hair looks as if it will dread quickly! Keep us updated with your progress! Much Love
lol i love this! my favorite part is where you say, "at first i thought a lot of the hair talk was nonsense though...people talking as if their hair had moods, an appetite, a will of it's own! i thought, no... " haha that is so great! :o) i talk like this ALL the time now. i kinda felt the same way as you at 1st, but after i was dreaded for about 2 weeks and was constantly searching and reading through this site, i too surrendered and now let my hair have a mind of it's own, let it do what it wants, and just roll with it! i didn't go natural to start em but have stopped all maintenance other than washing and i absolutely love letting my dreads do what they want and watching their different stages and progess
good  luck with your dreads
That's basically what I did as well. And I love it! Greatest of dreading to you :)
I feel that
You are lovely!!!! You're hair heard you too: Just because you got to the point of surrendering, I bet your locks are going to be amazing ♥ Like mine, your hair is going to thank you for letting it do its thang! Either way, what peace of mind on your part, and a lesson too, in so many aspects. The more we try to control natural things...........
I am in the exact same situation! I initially dreaded up with backcombing, then t&R, then I got 2/3rds of the way crocheted and didn't like them. I have worried over my hair more in this past month of trying to get dreads than I ever did before, which is messed up because I wanted dreads for the freedom/low maintanence factor! I am currently undoing my crocheted dreads and starting my natural journey too. Best of Luck to us both!

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