Thinking Of Cutting
I don't know if this will piss SE off or not but this is dread related in some way....so if you've read my other thread then you know what's going on in my life...this is just so PAINFUL!!! I haven't decided yet but I might just do it. I might cut my hair off. I MIGHT...I really talked to her today about the future and of getting back together and there is a chance for us to get back together, there is a chance. She even told me but...I don't know what kind of chance it is. I don't know if she'll take me back and if we'll get together but when I started my dreads, I started because I was starting a new life. A life with her...a life that I fully committed to and I love her dearly and it hurts so much. My hair is still fairly short right now but it carries so much weight. I feel it weighing down on me like a ton of bricks. I want to keep dreading, I don't want to start a new set but I want her to be with me. I want her to see the changes that I go through, to experience life together and I want that to be the story behind my dreads. I do NOT want the story of my dreads to be, well I moved out to start my own life, got engaged to a great girl and then got dumped seven months later and had to move back to my old home. I was depressed forever and I wanted to die. I want to experience life together and I want get married and have children. I want that to be the story behind my dreads. Now the only thing that I can think of doing is waiting and seeing if we get back together in time. If we do then I won't cut and if we don't then I'll cut and hopefully my hair contains my life and I bleed out and die.Yes, I feel that horrible.If things go badly between us in the first week of me living in GA then I'm going to cut and not look back. If things go well I'm going to keep talking to her, keep dreading and keep hoping that love will return to our relationship.
updated by @greygargoyle: 02/14/15 08:06:02AM