Hi everyone..
Introduce Yourself
Nice to meet you! love your dreads and thanks for the info!
Just because I don't often agree with you doesn't mean that I don't respect your opinion...
sorry to get off topic, WELCOME April! I am so glad you have joined us
JavaLizard said:
I'm sure most people hate what I think. What can I say I am not liberal or conservative. I try to look at that middle line. Often times it is the cry for rationalism that people hate the most. But thank you for putting that aside to hear/read me out on this one.
If you look at all my posts you will see my arguments usually fall in the middle or slightly towards what keeps the peace better. I feel that the family unit should never be guided by an outside force. I think all things in the family should go into that unit first, second and until peace isn't possible.
fire dancer said:While I don't always agree with your statements, Java, this one is dead on! When I started my journey, my husband was nearing the end of his 17 year Naval career (midigating circumstances ended it 3 years prematurely). I feel that I am a direct reflection of him, especially then when we lived/shopped on base, we or I could run into any number of people that could make or break his promotions! At any rate, I made sure that he was completely on board before I began. It was actually him who pushed me towards starting sooner rather than later! He has since been medically separated and he has not had a hair cut or shaved since 6/2012! I guess my point is, marriage it a partnership and you absolutely have to consider the others feelings before moving forward.
JavaLizard said:As a husband I had the conversation with my wife first. I am my wife's and she is mine. I reflect on her as she does me. We talked showed pictures, possibilities of what my hair could look like etc. It sounds more like your husband was just not happy with the idea of dreadlocks because of misconceptions.
For my wife once I mentioned them, in her own words, "(I) She pictured some dirty hippy white kids with dirty looking hair" My wife is white by the way, and a naval officer-I have yet to meet one with dreads in 10 years( an on a quick note my wife says that cornrows are allowed but not dreads. IF they are then they have to be a certain length and clean and presentable, and be able to be put up.), but a lot of Americans, including one hot forum topic here, do not think of good looking dreadlocks. They picture the stereotypical burn out college kid. Sad but true, my own wife couldn't picture a black person with dreads.
I, and Im one of the most conservative here I'm finding, say take a good conversation with your husband, it may be a really long one, mine was 3 months. But the journey is a TON easier when your spouse supports you. We talked about it long enough that even my kids want them!
Everyone loves the , my body, my hair.. but when we are married it isn't just about us. And your husband, I guess the better question is do you go to nice places now that require dress codes etc..? I've been to some places where you had to be clean shaven to get in. He might also fear other perceiving you as the stereotype and including him in it. In the long run it isn't what others think and feel, but in the short run how people react to you makes certain steps in life less difficult.
Not being racist, or subjugating women, or anything, but rather saying, as a husband I would really like it if my wife spoke to me first. And out of respect I spoke to my wife first. It would be great and dandy if we all lived in a world where we could express ourselves however we want and be accepted and accepting (ironically most people who want to be accepted don't accept others values etc..) but we don't so we should strive to live at peace with all men when possible
While I don't always agree with your statements, Java, this one is dead on! When I started my journey, my husband was nearing the end of his 17 year Naval career (midigating circumstances ended it 3 years prematurely). I feel that I am a direct reflection of him, especially then when we lived/shopped on base, we or I could run into any number of people that could make or break his promotions! At any rate, I made sure that he was completely on board before I began. It was actually him who pushed me towards starting sooner rather than later! He has since been medically separated and he has not had a hair cut or shaved since 6/2012! I guess my point is, marriage it a partnership and you absolutely have to consider the others feelings before moving forward.
JavaLizard said:
As a husband I had the conversation with my wife first. I am my wife's and she is mine. I reflect on her as she does me. We talked showed pictures, possibilities of what my hair could look like etc. It sounds more like your husband was just not happy with the idea of dreadlocks because of misconceptions.
For my wife once I mentioned them, in her own words, "(I) She pictured some dirty hippy white kids with dirty looking hair" My wife is white by the way, and a naval officer-I have yet to meet one with dreads in 10 years( an on a quick note my wife says that cornrows are allowed but not dreads. IF they are then they have to be a certain length and clean and presentable, and be able to be put up.), but a lot of Americans, including one hot forum topic here, do not think of good looking dreadlocks. They picture the stereotypical burn out college kid. Sad but true, my own wife couldn't picture a black person with dreads.
I, and Im one of the most conservative here I'm finding, say take a good conversation with your husband, it may be a really long one, mine was 3 months. But the journey is a TON easier when your spouse supports you. We talked about it long enough that even my kids want them!
Everyone loves the , my body, my hair.. but when we are married it isn't just about us. And your husband, I guess the better question is do you go to nice places now that require dress codes etc..? I've been to some places where you had to be clean shaven to get in. He might also fear other perceiving you as the stereotype and including him in it. In the long run it isn't what others think and feel, but in the short run how people react to you makes certain steps in life less difficult.
Not being racist, or subjugating women, or anything, but rather saying, as a husband I would really like it if my wife spoke to me first. And out of respect I spoke to my wife first. It would be great and dandy if we all lived in a world where we could express ourselves however we want and be accepted and accepting (ironically most people who want to be accepted don't accept others values etc..) but we don't so we should strive to live at peace with all men when possible
Haha, thanks guys! keep em coming. I think it is noteworthy to state, the same "friend" that complimented me, has senseCOMPLETELY stopped talking to me!
Have you ever tried that experiment again? lol
I just loved the look on her face when she was trying to insult me and I thanked her!
I had a friend tell me my hair looked like a "hot mess" on Friday. When I said thank you and smiled, she had a look on her face that implied it wasn't meant as a compliment. What are some of the strange compliments you have gotten, or rather, remarks not meant to be taken as such?
Allowing your hair to dread will open your eyes to a you, you never knew existed! Or maybe you always new existed but never let anyone else get to know. Say good bye to your "weak chin and small head" (which I do not see) and hello to your beautiful locs and confident soul.
I don't know anything about designing a web page or I would have submitted something (just because I would love to have a tam from SE I checked out the rough draft in google chrome and the only thing I noticed is that some of the advertisement placings seemed a little awkward. But like I said, I know NOTHING about designing a web page.
Thanks for the love SE and Valerie I have several (I feel a bit obsessed) pic up on my profile!
Hello all, my name is Heather. I have an amazing husband and two beautiful children, James (5) and Jine' (3). We are all redheads!I had been toying with the idea of dreads for years, and I had been doing research more and more frequently. I always came across the "dread kits" but I was way to cheap to spend the money (which is also why I had never gotten them done "professionally") I am so glad I found this site before I started my journey.I have been letting my hair do it's thing for a little over a month now. I started out with neglect and free form. After showing my hubs several photos from member albums, I came to the conclusion that he prefers thinner dreads. In the spirit ofcompromise and because he has been so supportive (he was, after all, the one who encouraged me to follow my inner voice). I wastrying to keep mine separated into smaller sections, I felt I was undoing any process my hair was making on its own. So, I tnr'd it up! Then I sprayed it with a sea salt solution, and VIOLA!!! I am sooooo in love with my babies! I kind of wish I had done it from the start...then again I am glad that my hair was liberated from the residue first. Plus there are quite a few on my crown that are completely free form. I am loving the transformation, my outside is begging to match my inside I am looking forward to sharing my journey with you all.