Purification for my locs??
I am sorry to hear about your past shitty times. The only positive thing about that is it makes us stronger, makes us who we are. We do get through it all and become a better person because of it. Although I am not into crystals myself, I have heard much about them. Do you have a necklace with one on it? You could attach that into your dreads for awhile. Try sitting on the floor, put on some drum chants or music, lite an incense, close your eyes, relax and let the beating of the drums take you away, let them purify your soul.
Your dreads will teach you much along the journey, you will become more at peace, believe me. You will make new history that will be recorded in them, in their growth.
It is hard to know why things happen, but they do. I was once married before and that certainly did not turn out well at all, and yes, I had a child at the time. Just by being here you have the power to learn how to channel the negativity in your life. I did not back them. But, things happen for a good reason. The other day I celebrated my 22nd wedding anniversary with my husband, my second marriage. I embrace everything I went through before I met him, it made me the person he fell in love with and still loves.
Right now your marriage is difficult and you are back into bad habits. Perhaps it is time to cleanse your life and your soul. You have a long beautiful life ahead of you that you deserve, so embrace it, take a long hard look at how you can change things to make you happier. The road might be hard at first but it will be worth it. Become at peace with yourself and know that you deserve a happy life, we all do. Surround yourself with good people only, ones that are good on the inside. I learned many moons ago what type of people I don't want to be around, and since that time I have been at peace with myself and life. It sometimes takes big steps. I've a very mean spirited sister who I love as a sister but hate as a person. I don't go anywhere with her anymore because of her dark vibes, she was the one thing in my life that ate me away. I have no guilt with my decision because I now lead a happy life, hers is still dark and lonely and I was not able to help her and stopped trying. YOU have control over YOU, only you do. We get many curve balls, just gotta learn how to swing with them.....all the best to you, may you find the happiness you deserve peace