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Worried what others think...

last year
3 posts

I've recently put my profile back up.  I always leave embarrased because I've brushed my dreads out again.  I keep brushing my dreads out because they get very messy in the 3rd month and I worry what people think of me when I go out in public.  I have a tattoo on my throat.  You would think this would be something I was past by now.  Maybe in some areas of my life...  Or maybe I only manage to find acceptance in those permanent areas because I no longer have a choice.  Maybe I'm seeking acceptance in all the wrong places.  Maybe I wouldn't seek so much acceptance if I had truly accepted myself.  My hair is now green because I just couldn't leave well enough alone.  A part of me wants to dye it another normal color to hide my mistake.  A knowing part says to leave it.  Let it be a reminder.  Let it be your challenge of acceptance.  I'm struggling...  I've started letting it knot again as well.  I hope I can leave it.  I hope I can look back a year from now, see those green ends, love them, and be thankful for them.  I hope I can say thank you for teaching me to let go.  I guess we will see.  I hope, if nothing else, I have the courage to stick around no matter what happens.  You are all such wonderful, loving, and accepting people.  I always feel so blessed to be among you.  Thank you all for being here. <3

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