Heavy Heart :(

My feelings are hurt so bad today. I started my dread journey last week. Okay, my hair is a little frizzy and all over the place but frankly I just don't care. I'm doing this journey to let go of vanity. I keep my hair nice and neat of course for my job and for my husband. BUT the thing is that my husband disagrees with my journey. I don't think he supports me one bit. He is stereotyping. Oh my gosh this hurts my feelings so badly, but oh well, I have not combed my hair still. For instance this morning while getting ready I made a comment about our puppy needing a bath because of fleas and he said you're going to get fleas in your hair if you don't brush it out or something like that. Also this morning he came home from night shift and I was getting out of the shower, he saw my hair wrapped up in a towel and he dramatically , shockingly said "You WASHED your hair?" I was like yeah of course. He has been saying man comments since I TnR my hair but I have been ignoring them until this morning. I have showed him pictures of nicely done dreads on the hottest women I could find online to show him it can be done and still be sexy. I tried to explain to him that I just don't want to worry or have to do my hair everyday anymore. I just want to let it be...anyways I don't know what to do. None of my friends have dreads so they won't understand the ridicule. I just wanted to vent on here and maybe get some good advice to help lift my spirits. Thanks guys for listening.

-Brandy

updated by @brandy: 01/13/15 09:47:00PM

umm

i dont want to make your heavy heart heavier but..it sounds like ya married a complete asshole

dreads are a great filter they show u your true self but also others true selves

has he been assholish in other ways in the past that maybe u let sliede or even took as a joke so didnt let it get to u?

--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

Oh I'm sure of it/ Maybe this will just be the final realization that he is an ass hole and I don't need his shit. *sigh*

soaring eagle said:

umm

i dont want to make your heavy heart heavier but..it sounds like ya married a complete asshole

dreads are a great filter they show u your true self but also others true selves

has he been assholish in other ways in the past that maybe u let sliede or even took as a joke so didnt let it get to u?

dont let your heart be heavy then let it fly free

yea i had a feeling he was an ass all along and u put up with too much already..

brandy said:

Oh I'm sure of it/ Maybe this will just be the final realization that he is an ass hole and I don't need his shit. *sigh*

soaring eagle said:

umm

i dont want to make your heavy heart heavier but..it sounds like ya married a complete asshole

dreads are a great filter they show u your true self but also others true selves

has he been assholish in other ways in the past that maybe u let sliede or even took as a joke so didnt let it get to u?

--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

Mine also made fun of my fuzzy baby dreads in the first two weeks.. I bet in a couple months when theyre well on the way and you start getting compliments left and right he will feel/behave differently. Mine did. Feel better sister, people are always gonna be judgmental and cruel, let it in one ear and out the other.

My husband doesn't like mine either. He keeps asking me to brush my hair and I told him this is an important spiritual undertaking for me, and a lifelong commitment I've made. He doesn't understand, tho cuz he's an atheist and completely nonspiritual. He lives by science. So I just have to tell him to respect my decisions I make for my own body. He's not mean about it tho. He even helped me to put on some beads. He just wishes I would brush my hair. I just have to make peace with him not liking my hair.

oh gawd girl, you are beautiful!

I'm so sorry hubby is being this way.

Luckily my 'very much set in his ways' hubby loves them and tells me if I'm gonna have them, I'm to wear them down and rock em.

Have a heart to heart with him, ask him what about it makes him so mad. Try to alleviate his 'fears'.

Keep us posted, maybe we can hook you up with a nice dreaded guy on here, lol

Boy do I know what you mean. My husband, who is completely bald, loved to caress my long silky hair when it was undreaded. He hates my decision to have dreadlocks for the rest of my life. Has he gotten use to them yet, not sure, but as much as I love him, I don't care. My body, my decision. After 21 years of marriage, he knows I won't budge, and more importantly, he knows not to ask me to. Husbands and wives don't have to agree on everything, that is life, Ying & Yang. I know that when my dreads are finally mature, he will see the beauty of them. (He is not a visionary kind of guy)...When his co-workers see my dreads and tell him I AM SEXY, that will be his turning point..you know, that guy thing with the hot chick in the room.

If he wants to be an asshole for awhile, so what...sometimes we are bitches for awhile. The Macho in him is coming out, so what again...in time he will get use to them....maybe a short time...maybe a long time.

I am sure there are many on this site who have experienced your same remarks, just hang in there and be true to yourself. You are You, He is Him. Just be YOURSELF....Peace

Exactly! We all have little things we don't like about our spouses. I don't like that my husband cut his long hair off and has taken to shaving most of his beard off, but whatever. I told him I didn't like it and if my opinion was a factor in his decision he would have grown it back out. He hasn't. Eventually (if we're not shallow) we just come to accept these things.

dont worry bout him, i support you haha,