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Non-supportive family

Nicole Schaefer
3 years ago
71 posts

My family is mostly conservative and has a pretty narrow mind about lifestyles. I, on the other hand, advocate for alternative lifestyles and question anything/everything I hear about. They believe everything they hear on TV... Its just very frustrating when you live in a house with no one who is like minded as yourself.

Yesterday me and my sister were swimming and she brought up my dreads. She basically went off saying how disgusting it is for someone to do with their "healthy hair". She was saying that dreads are dirty, unhealthy, and I will never get a real job with them, going on about split ends and how I can't trim my hair. So pretty much spewing off all the different misconceptions. I tried to explain and educate her but she is the type of person who wont listen or change her opinion. This really offended me.. and made me quite sad. I simply don't feel accepted by my family. I am considered a "paranoid hippy" to them. Soo as you could guess, I don't particularly enjoy being home very much. And then they complain that I am never home...well would you want to be around people who are constantly criticized? No, i'm sure they wouldn't like that.

I'm at a point in my life (19yrs) where I am beginning to make my own choices, and I just wish they could accept that. She thinks this a "phase" and I will want to comb them out after a year or something which isn't true at all. I plan to keep them for as long as possible, and the reason I am doing it in the first place is not for the look. I want dreads to be comfortable with my natural self because I have struggled with insecurities, I also want them for spiritual reasons.. They just don't understand where Im coming from or where I want to go.

All I can really do is stay true to myself. There is no pleasing others in this type of situation.

Im just so grateful and happy this site exists, so that I may have the support I need. It shows me that there are people who are like minded to me. Thank you all <33

updated by @nicole-schaefer: 11/11/15 10:57:15PM
Tara C
3 years ago
645 posts

Keep trying to explain that regardless of what they think of dreads, it makes you happy. As your family, they should want your happiness above all else, even if that means they disagree with what you're doing. Ask them if they'd rather you combed them out and was miserable over it. Maybe that'll help them see it in another light. If not, there's not much else you can do. Hopefully they'll come around in time, but you can't force people to see what they refuse to see, unfortunately.

☮ soaring eagle ॐ
3 years ago
27,278 posts

well your 19

maybe you should prove em wrong find a job and move out and go on with the life you want to live

thats what those years are for getting out of the nest before the nest kicks you out

i think your just nearing that time

love the life you choose to live and be happy and let that be good enough for you

Creator and head dreadhead at:
Dreadlocks Site
Glider pilot student at:
Freedoms wings international
Joseph Gaiche
3 years ago
28 posts
If they are in the christian/ jewish faith then the old test talks of a nazrite vow. basically you do natural dreads for religious purpose.
3 years ago
89 posts

I agree with the nest thing, sometimes leaving the nest even if it is for college is a good thing.

@Joseph in regards to what he said, the Nazarite vow has nothing to do with dreads, and if of Jewish faith then the lifestyle that is included in following that vow is a very big step. If they are Christian said vow only applies if you follow a Messianic faith, where the Law is still in effect, keeping Sabbath dietary Law as well as wearing a head covering at all times if you are a girl, etc. No soap box intended but to throw out religious stuff to justify without fully understanding it causes problems. Look at most religions today! Nazarite vow has nothing to do with dreads, it is to dedicate ones life to being pure and holy and undefiled. Also no grape products or fermented anything. -

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