Hi Kim! Okay, here is the thing. You don't actually have dreads yet...but you will. Doing T&R or backcombing is just a starter that some people utilize...but, it is not dreads. It is stuck together hair that resembles dreads. That is why it falls apart and loosens. The hair simply can not dread if it doesn't loosen and the strands don't rub against each other. That is how it "knits" together. So many people become anxious and try to "help" their hair along. Your hair doesn't need your help, it knows what to do. I find that dreads are something that kind of calls to people. We feel drawn to them for many reasons...some spiritual, some not, but we have reasons that they appeal. I also find that many of the people they appeal to are very O.C.D and obsessed with control and perfection. But I believe that is the lesson. Dreads can teach us many things about ourselves, we just need to stop asserting our will. You are the very type who needs dreads the most...to free yourself and be yourself...but, you are also the very type who it will be difficult with and drive crazy!!!! LOL...I know....me too! But you have to see that anything we strive so hard to control really is a problem. Instead of struggling, lay back and float....that is the lesson. Ofcoarse, right away...many people say, but I will look ugly and unkept...I will lose my job....blah, blah, blah.....All liesto keep you in a place of unhappiness. Who cares if you have messy hair? Really no one in the end but you. The best gift you can give yourself is dreads...and to get there you have to let go. Much love <3