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Thinking of starting over

Myschyf
@myschyf
3 years ago
121 posts
Well, I've been at this for just about a year (1 year in 2 more days) and I'm very disappointed in thee way my hair looks. The top is all loose hair, that won't even section. The dreads themselves are way thin in the body and nearly all have flat bulbous ends that frankly remind me of sperm. I've done neglect, other than the tnr at first that fell out 100%. Basically is there anything I can do. I know I should just let it go, but I can't I dislike all the stringy half formed ball end wired looking dreads that are forming. If there's nothing I can do, I think I'll be forced to brush out and try back combing to get a better shape, which I really don't want to do. Ill post pics if I can once I get home.
updated by @myschyf: 02/14/15 03:25:09AM
taye
@taye
3 years ago
836 posts

Please wait. Your dreads are not fully mature yet. You are still in the puberty years where dreads are concerned. You know where a child turns into a teen and looks kinda like an adult...but their voice is cracking and they are all elbows and knees and pimples? Please search for Heather's timeline and look how beautiful her dreads have turned out. My dreads are 5 years old and still have lose hair. Baby dreads form on my head still and they all have the little balls on the end. Looks rather odd until the dreads actually finishes shrinking and actually starts looking more "rope" like. Your hair has gone through so much in the past year...please don't give up on it yet. It would be like putting a cake in the oven and halfway through baking time pull it out say it has not risen completely and dumping in in the trash. How many analogies can I put in one response? lol

Myschyf
@myschyf
3 years ago
121 posts
Photobucket Pictures, Images and PhotosPhotobucket Pictures, Images and PhotosThey are just so thin and wimpy looking. With these weird ball heads. I've actually had quite a few people ask me what I did wrong. I can handle the messiness, but it's starting to seem like I did do something incorrectly. Some "dreads" are so thin they are no more than 8 hairs with a ball at the end.
taye
@taye
3 years ago
836 posts

Mine all ball at the ends. It is normal. I really like the look of wispy ends but my dreads wanted to blunt. You did not do anything incorrectly. But you can combine 2 or more dreads if you think they are too thin. Last winter I combined 3 baby dreads on the crown of my head with hemp twine and now it has turned into a nice sized dread instead of 3 scraggly ones. The top of your head will eventually dread. You may not do this.....but I was sitting with someone who was complaining that their hair was not knotting. As I was listening....I watched him pass this fingers through his hair several times. When I pointed it out....he did not believe me. He actually did not realize that he had that habit. He was combing his hair with his fingers. So.........make sure that you are only touching the top of your head with your palm....not your fingers. Your dreads are gonna thicken and the top will dread. It is just gonna take more time.

taye
@taye
3 years ago
836 posts

Please take a look at my photos. I have a photo on there that was around six months or so. It is my dread puberty picture! It was a hot mess. I was with a friend at a festie at about that time. He said to me. "I have seen dreads..lots of dreads..and they didn't look like yours...I don't think yours are supposed to look like that". LOL my response was that they were babies...just wait and see. He swears that he never said that....but I plainly remember it. I remember how it made me feel. It is one thing when some stranger makes a comment but it is different entirely when it comes from someone you care about.

Tara C
@tara-c
3 years ago
645 posts

The balls on the end are normal. Not for everyone, it depends. I have a few wispy ends, but in general, all of mine are like that. In fact, yours are amazing because all of mine are like that but much messier; a weird shape on the end but then some normal hair around it. So weird lol. You should love it, that's true dreading, they're not all the same, not all uniform, they give them character and they look really cool (at least, to me). More importantly, your hair is not done dreading. Some people's hair takes longer to dread than others, but they're really on their way. They can thicken up a bit more as they dread, but if not, you can always stop separating some of them (don't let it go overboard though) so they can combine.

Don't give up on the journey, your hair is doing what it wants to do, but it's not entirely done yet :)

Myschyf
@myschyf
3 years ago
121 posts
I do continously push my too long but not long enough bangs out of my face all day at work. So that could potentially be where the not dreading part could be happening. Though i wasnt planning on having the bangs dreaded.And It's just hard to get the image out of my head of what I was expecting. Especially when my friends and coworkers constantly tell me they look weird. Especially from the lady who does have dreads. Her dreads are salon dreads though, and I try to tell myself that's why hers are the way they are and why mine are the way they are, that and she has African hair, and I do not so it will be different. I know I need to be patient, but I'm worried they are going to be stringy ball fubar dreads forever, and if that's the case I'm not happy. >.< But I'll keep waiting. Idk how to keep from fixing my bangs though, they are still too short to stay behind my ear.
Kelly3
@kelly3
3 years ago
337 posts

I think you should get that locking gel stuff. You can even make your own.

http://www.dreadlockssite.com/forum/topics/any-tried-homemade-flax-lock-up-gel?xg_source=activity

Also, try the sea salt mix.

To be totally honest with you, I would be disappointed with the progress, were I in your shoes. That being said, you should stick with it. You will be much happier with the result after fighting through such a long forming stage. Some here dread for "spiritual" reasons. It's not for me, and i don't know about you, but I can maybe see how the hard fought road will give more satisfaction once the end has been reached.

Best of luck with it.

Kelly

taye
@taye
3 years ago
836 posts

Myschyf, I just looked at all of your photos on here. Love the zombie ones btw !! I pulled your photos up on my big screen so i could get a good look. Your hair is extremely thin. Please please please do not take this the wrong way. I know you had preconceived visions of how your dreads were going to look. Big full head of dreads. People with thick hair kinda dreads..right? Each one of us have unique dreads. There are dreads on here that look similar to mine....but not exactly. No 2 sets end up looking exactly alike. and our dreads do not turn out the way we imagine them. Your dreads will mature more. I know they are going through a crazy stage right now....but they will look different in 6 months, a year, 2 years and 10 years. Your dreads will never be as thick as some people's because you just don't have that thickness to start with. You can start over with backcomb but you are still not going to change the fact that your hair is thin. To be perfectly honest with you...your dreads make your hair look a lot thicker now than in the beginning photos. Dreads create volume. and I can see the volume already.

Give up the vision of what you expected your hair to look like and enjoy all the crazy stages. Your dreads are not going to look this way forever. Dreads manufactured in a salon may look all neat but they lose a lot of volume for it (not to mention money, time and health of the hair). I have seen people who started out with maintained dreads and years later started over neglect. The neglect was a whole lot fuller, softer and healthier. So please don't listen to your dreadie coworker. Fall in love with your dreads ...love them the way they are...because your dreads are unique and beautiful and your own.

the Barrellady
@the-barrellady
3 years ago
1,302 posts

Hi there. I know how hard the journey is, how impatient we are when we constantly hear about mature dreads in one year. It really is 1-2 years. I too had ends like that, much larger in fact because my hair is thicker. But over time, I have slowly seen those fat fat ends become dreadier, shapier looking. I agree with Taye, due to the thinness of your natural hair, you need thinner dreads to create volume. When they are completely mature, they will be thicker than they are now. Just envision how they will look at the 3 year mark, beautiful aren't they.....

Your hair & dreads, your decision.....but if you start over and backcomb, due to your think hair, that method will cause some damage. Broken or cracked strands of hair....something to think about.

Our dreads do not look like salon dreads...or mature dreads yet.....but they will be healthy dreads. Oh yeah, I bet about 80% of my dreads blunted just after the one year mark.....peace

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