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You are not blacker than me!!!! black on black dread disrespect

Bob Ngarly
@bob-ngarly
3 years ago
163 posts
I find it extremely ironic that the people that are ridiculing me for my hairstyle are black people! Im black! (well half black). But anyway white people hardly say anything about my choice to grow natural dreads. Its always black people. "why dont you twist them up?" "its about time for a retwist huh? your hair is looking ratchet!"I try to explain to them that i have made the choice not to twist my hair and that I am pursuing a natural hairstyle free of excessive intervention.To them they dont understand why i would do that..I try to explain to them that to me dreads are more than a hairstyle. TO me they represent a journey towards a transformation of myself. they represent letting go, not being in control of every detail, and learning to accept that some things in life are out of my control. But to answer their questions:First off twisting my hair does little for my hair if anything at all. im only mixed my hair is curly not kinky african.Then they wanna tell me everything in the world that i should put in them like beeswax and wave gel, (for people that dont know its a cheap petroleum based grease used to create waves in african textured hair), and every other thing that luckily i know will only destroy my dreads.They typically go on to rag on me saying that natural dreads are gross unclean and are gonna look like bob marley dreads. I try to tell them that in fact i wash mine twice a week, and seperate it to prevent congos. The guy i was arguing with over all of this then told me he didnt wash his for 3 months after he twisted it. And he had the nerve to say that my choice was a less clean hairstyle.they typically fail to understand that not only is excessive twisting damaging to the hair, but also that there are other ways to dread!! a guy today told me he didnt comb his hair or wash it for 3 months in preperation to get twists. I was like dude, why would you just not go natural if you didnt comb for 3 months and why would you not wash?? clean dreads dread easier.He didnt even know that dreads can form if simply left alone. Im sick of getting ridiculed by people who are supposed to be like me and people that I would think would crave acceptance more than the average joe. Yet instead more often than not they will make jokes on me and make fun and make me feel like an idiot cuz my hair isnt the same as theirs. They act like i dont know the first thing about my own hair or have the mental capacity to research the topic to find a method that better fits my hair type.I dont make fun of their dreads. Overly twisted, overly manicured, damaged dreads, that havent been washed in weeks or apparently months. I compliment them on their dreads. (after all they do look pretty cool) But i let them be and i dont question why they decided to go the way with the method they did. I dont blow up on them warning them of the dangers of overtwisting even when i see the effects of it clearly. I let them make their decisions.Can i not get the same respect?especially from the black community.done ranting,-Spencer
updated by @bob-ngarly: 06/10/16 02:04:39PM
emilio gonzalez
@emilio-gonzalez
3 years ago
33 posts

a lot of miss informed people out there about dreadlocks , just teach them the truth and with time they will be like wow how did you get your dreads so awesome ..

Bob Ngarly
@bob-ngarly
3 years ago
163 posts

truth man. If only they were at that awesome stage now i could have a little more immediate proof to show them i know what im talking about. As of now my hair doesnt reflect that i am any type of expert on dreads. lol I still got the crazy babies.

i think its simply just another lesson my dreads are trying to teach me.

-Spencer

BeauZay
@beauzay
3 years ago
92 posts

it comes with territory my man. I'm not even black, I'm mexican and japanese, but my babies mother is half black, so her mom is full black... I get the same shit from them, although they respect my choice (because I went into great detail about how I care the dreads) ... I still hear it from them everytime I go to their house, something along the lines of, "are you ready to twist em up?!?!"...or...."Lets twist 'em!!!" lmao... I just laugh it off now, can't let it get to you.

Bob Ngarly
@bob-ngarly
3 years ago
163 posts

yeah i guess so im just not used to people gettin on me for my own personal decisions man. Why do they even care you know? thats funny. Id like to see them try to twist your hair up. Im assuming its straight as a board and would respond in no way to that.

im letting it go man i just needed to rant a bit.

BeauZay
@beauzay
3 years ago
92 posts

Haha I feel you! Everyone needs to let off a little steam now and then. But its because they're mis informed and know no better. Lol, and yeah my hairs pretty damn straight, I think they just like fuckin with me.

melanie rose
@melanie-rose
3 years ago
177 posts
Its sad, really.. how ignorant and close minded people can be in regards to unfamiliar territory. In this case, freeformlocs. Just keep doing you brother, we've got simmilar hair and our babies are gonna be dope as hell once mature ;)
Bob Ngarly
@bob-ngarly
3 years ago
163 posts

yeah no doubt! your locs are super crazy!!! i love them. and i like your style i looked a few of your pics. keep on dreading. How long have you been dreading for? I just hit 3 weeks on saturday.

melanie rose
@melanie-rose
3 years ago
177 posts
I stopped brushing and using shampoo about 12 weeks ago. Unfortunately a friend did some gentle tnr the day after Christmas, she even brushed out some of my natural knots, claiming it wil mature quicker this way. Wish I would have left them be. I like yours alot too, they're looking great for just 3 weeks :]
Bob Ngarly
@bob-ngarly
3 years ago
163 posts

you stopped shampooing?? are you not washing at all? yeah i have to tell myself to leave mine alone especially the ones on the top of my head... they are dreading slower than the sides and the back so i constantly want to mess with them. I like the idea of going all neglect but hate the idea of really large dreads (congoing) so i decided to go TNR as well. get my lil sections going but i quit all the rest... mostly cuz im just too lazy to do more than that.
lol

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