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My 11 year old daughter wants her hair dreaded???

Sweet,
@sweet
3 years ago
133 posts

WHAT should i do if the school she goes to says she can't have her hair dreaded. I have had dreads for a couple of years now and my daughter (Sientje) has sometimes helped me add hair wraps and sewn in little coins into my dreads, so she's seen how much fun it all is whitnesing me have mine for this amount of time. No one else in the high school has them, i would hate to end up putting her through having them done, or i should say having me get the dreads started for her, has anyone had their kids have dreads that are going to a public school? She goes through so much pain with daily brushing as her hair just wants to dread up, i know if we didn't brush her hair it would dread up in one week - but she would have one great big congo as her whole head of hair would matt up into a ball of well matt!! So that's why i have to start it off with some sectioning and guidence


updated by @sweet: 02/14/15 08:40:23AM
The-Pygmy Page
@the-pygmy-page
3 years ago
43 posts

I think if she wants them and you don't have a problem showing her how to keep them clean it shouldn't be a problem . Some people are big saying young people don't understand enough but I just started letting my son's hair do its own thing and he is three. I would also seeif you could modify the letter to the employ they have made here .

Baba Fats
@baba-fats
3 years ago
2,730 posts

As a general rule, public schools can have a dress code that says you can't have "distracting" hair styles. That said, teachers and administrators may try and say dreadlocks are "distracting". But because many people wear locks for spiritual reasons, they can't say that dreadlocks, in particular, are not allowed.

If you want her to grow locks for a spiritual reason, they can't stop it. But if you are only letting them grow because she wants them, and so you won't have to brush her hair regularly, and hurt her, they can force your hand.

At 11, your daughter is old enough to have thecognitiveability to understand how to keep them clean, and how important it is to do so. I'd first explain all of that to her (if you haven't already). Then sit down and talk to her about how she may get made fun of for them. Kids can be really mean towards things they don't understand.

Laura Earle
@laura-earle
3 years ago
233 posts

Can you call the school beforehand and ask if dreadlocks are permissible there? And I agree with Baba -- a child who is eleven years old is definitely old enough to decide what they want to do with their hair, but they might not be fully aware of the different kinds of reactions different hairstyles evoke. I would definitely talk with her about dealing with these reactions, as well as dealing with the commitment that dreads require.

Baba Fats
@baba-fats
3 years ago
2,730 posts

She also might not understand fully that they take time. Kids see time differently than adults do. You tell a kid they take a year to form, and it doesn't mean the same thing as tell you or me a year.

I don't see why you couldn't call before hand. But be ready for them to say "no, they aren't". If you and she really wants them for a spiritual reason, you can drop the word "lawsuit" or "lawyer", and they would cave pretty quickly. But if it's not for a spiritual reason, it does diminish that fight for those of us who do grow them for religious purposes

Christian Thomas Patton
@christian-thomas-patton
3 years ago
2 posts

My school allowed them. Most of my teachers actually found them exciting and different and were fascinated by how much they change over time. Which is surprising considering i live in a small close minded community that see's dreadlocks as "dirty" and "disgusting". They shouldn't have a problem with her hair unless it was unnatural or "distracting" colors.

Sweet,
@sweet
3 years ago
133 posts

Thank you for adding your experience with the 'fire engine red hair' your right about defending the smaller issues, like you say 'where or how far would it go if we let people decide how we dress' Really you wouldn't think it would matter in a small country school here in NZ.

k8ekate said:

I haven't looked at your profile and seen where you live but each school is different. I know that a friends son had fire engine red hair in 4th Grade and the school made him stay in an in-school suspension room until his mom could come get him because according to the principal, "his hair is a distraction in class." Pretty ridiculous if you ask me. I'm sure she could have fought the schools administration about it but she chose not to. I would've started a battle!!! I believe it's not up to them to tell you in the public schools how a child should dress and wear their hair but we are in America and losing our liberties faster and faster these days. If we don't fight over the "small stuff" like hairstyles in school we are teaching our children to become Sheeple. That said, you may have no issues at all with her school.
Sweet,
@sweet
3 years ago
133 posts

Being a hairdresser i should have no problem with showing her and helping her look after her dreadies, if thats what it comes down to then its an easy thing - i did think it would be an idea to make sure she can ties her dreads back in a ponytail but with a crocheted band of course :)
The-Pygmy Page said:

I think if she wants them and you don't have a problem showing her how to keep them clean it shouldn't be a problem . Some people are big saying young people don't understand enough but I just started letting my son's hair do its own thing and he is three. I would also seeif you could modify the letter to the employ they have made here .

Sweet,
@sweet
3 years ago
133 posts

O yes for sure its a way of life - having our dreads, we live in the bush on a couple of acres and really try to live the simplistic way of life and i am excentricly into the spiritual way of life, we are surrounded with incenses and crystals etc, really its no wonder she wants dreads! But yes she does want them over night, so when she first asked me i said yes she can have her dreads but didn't start to get the sectioning done straight away and have explained to her that she will have to really want dreads before i even start to do anything about it. Can't just let her hair dread because just like mine would matt in 1 great lot! So there will have to be some sectioning up to get it on its way:)

Baba Fats said:

She also might not understand fully that they take time. Kids see time differently than adults do. You tell a kid they take a year to form, and it doesn't mean the same thing as tell you or me a year.

I don't see why you couldn't call before hand. But be ready for them to say "no, they aren't". If you and she really wants them for a spiritual reason, you can drop the word "lawsuit" or "lawyer", and they would cave pretty quickly. But if it's not for a spiritual reason, it does diminish that fight for those of us who do grow them for religious purposes

Sweet,
@sweet
3 years ago
133 posts

Yes you r so right - didn't think about the fun other kids might or will make of her having dreads, come to think of it i haven't seen anyone else with dreads either, that of course is why i have the big question of weather she will get away with having dreads at the school. Yes i will now take the time to explain to her that she could be singled out for both the look of having dreads and what it all stands for which is spiritual beliefs and simplistic way of living.

Baba Fats said:

As a general rule, public schools can have a dress code that says you can't have "distracting" hair styles. That said, teachers and administrators may try and say dreadlocks are "distracting". But because many people wear locks for spiritual reasons, they can't say that dreadlocks, in particular, are not allowed.

If you want her to grow locks for a spiritual reason, they can't stop it. But if you are only letting them grow because she wants them, and so you won't have to brush her hair regularly, and hurt her, they can force your hand.

At 11, your daughter is old enough to have thecognitiveability to understand how to keep them clean, and how important it is to do so. I'd first explain all of that to her (if you haven't already). Then sit down and talk to her about how she may get made fun of for them. Kids can be really mean towards things they don't understand.

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