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I think my family is racist and they don't know it:

Samalamajam
@samalamajam
4 years ago
14 posts

I've got all kinds of responses from people about my dreadies. They're at the point that some stick out pretty obviously and my friends ask to see a couple out of curiousity and because they think it's "neat" an "interesting" in how hair changes when you don't brush it. THOSE people I love showing my dreads off to. They're are genuinely intrigued as much as I am.

However (and getting to why I'm posting this):

Every time I show my brother my dreadlocks he touches it, pulls away and says "feels just like a black person's hair". He's 16 and very ignorant. We've had discussions about how dreadlocks are widespreadacrossthe human race. But, I still keep getting these comments from him.
And then yesterday my mom (who has been supportive, doesn't quite "get it" but not negative) said after she felt a really tight dread "I bet that's how Whoppie Goldberg's hair feels".

Here's my question: Should I be offended? I'm upset about them generalizing and I feel like they're stereotyping but I'm not sure how to convey this to them and make them understand. I'd really like anyone's stories about how people react when they feel your dreadlocks but especially any POC and what they think about my brother and mother.

Thanks!!!


updated by @samalamajam: 01/13/15 09:17:17PM
new dreddie
@new-dreddie
4 years ago
75 posts

Yes, ignorance is bliss inyour family. People love to stereotype other races, religions, etc. Does your brother really knows the texture of blacks,etc? I have seen people with lighter skin with thick coarse hair, in fact ultra kinky.Keep dreaddy and stay happy. Forget people stay dreaddy!

☮ soaring eagle ॐ
@soaring-eagle
4 years ago
27,421 posts

well your brother possibly tho saying i bet thats whast her hair feels like i wouldnt say that is just cause shes got dreads and uyea it feels like dreads ..i guess it could be behind it biut wouldnt say specificly the statement itself is and can be perfectly innocent too

i mean she coulda substututed any other nanme its just possible thats the 1st name to come to mind

id let it sklide unless it seemds tobecome a pattern then if u do see a pattern then yea u can figure out what to do bout it then

if you were talking about someone with a deep voice and u said you sound like barry white would that be inherintly racist?

or is it just the 1st name to pop to mind when u hear a voice like that




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Samalamajam
@samalamajam
4 years ago
14 posts

Agreed. Thank you SE.
Thoughts on my brother? His definitely have become a pattern.

@new dreddie: no I don't even think he has any friends or knows anyone that's not white. he has a very narrow vision of what's "normal".

baby britt
@baby-britt
4 years ago
112 posts

not sure whether i think those comments are racist are not. probably just a product of white american conditioning. people only do (think, learn, say) what they want to.

Baba Fats
@baba-fats
4 years ago
2,730 posts

You can be offended, but what does that accomplish?

My dad taught for the school district of Philadelphia for 35 years and is a complete bigot, but will never admit it. He used to tell me that my hair looks like black peoples hair and that I was just trying to act black. Since then he has calmed down with those remarks, but he still holds the same sentiment.

A little off the topic of my hair, but still to the spirit of this discussion: My fiance works as a teacher in philly now, and whenever she we visit my parents, my dad's always got something negative to say. (Let me paint a picture of my girlfriend. She's 80% irish, 12% mexican, some german, and some phillipino. She's looks almost 100% hispanic though). The school she's at now is about 50% black and 50% latino kids. She loves it. Even the worst kids are some of her favorites. That's just how she is. She was one of those bad kids in high school. My dad taught there, and now that he knows she is too, all he can say is that "latino kids aren't that smart, but they are artistic". He's looking right at a girl who looks completely latino. We've said things to him about it. He doesn't stop. It has made us not go and visit that often, and my girlfriend, now, ignored him when we do.

I digress a little bit. But you see, there's racism everywhere. We live in a very leftist area, but they still pop up.

You can get pissed, but that will just create bad vibes. Why contribute to it. Your family is creating enough of those for all of us.

Eagle's right though. Whoppie Goldbergs name could have just been the first person with dreadlocks that she could think of.

lol about the Barry White thing. I get that all the time. People tell me I should sing just cause I've got a voice like his. I don't take offence. I just get annoyed that people think all I can do with this voice is sing.

new dreddie
@new-dreddie
4 years ago
75 posts


Samalamajam said:

Agreed. Thank you SE.
Thoughts on my brother? His definitely have become a pattern.

@new dreddie: no I don't even think he has any friends or knows anyone that's not white. he has a very narrow vision of what's "normal".

Ok, well sometimes people have to allow others to be stupid. Ignore the ignorance and stay dreaddy

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