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Dreadlocks Forums

Dealing with Family?

☮ soaring eagle ॐ
@soaring-eagle
7 years ago
27,416 posts
moved to dreads in the family although it fit as well in life issues(will move back if the general consensus is that it fits better there)


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Creator and head dreadhead at:
Dreadlocks Site
Glider pilot student at:
Freedoms wings international

updated by @soaring-eagle: 07/22/15 06:29:42AM
Lindsay3
@lindsay3
6 years ago
32 posts
I have had lots of negative comments. I had my first child at 17 I attachment parent, we dont vax, we co sleep, i breast feed, wear my baby, have dreads, my husband has dreads and hes taking on glass blowing...someone ALWAYS has something to say. I always educate myself before making any decision so if they have a question I am always prepared to give an educated answer BUT if I am not in the mood for a lot of discussion. I just do not give them any real reaction. I tend to just be myself and be happy I am who I am. Eventually you family will accept you for who you are. Just try to brush away anything negative you hear. :)
Crystal O.
@crystal-o
6 years ago
137 posts

My mother told me that many people, as well as her believe that people with dreads are dirty. She also told me she hopes this doesn't ruin my beautiful hair. Now she knows very well that I am not dirty, so how would letting my hair dread instantly make me a dirty person? As for ruining my hair, I guess it's a matter of opinion, I think my hair will be much happier without ripping a brush through it and burning it daily. I was prepared for her comments and told her that dreadlocks can be kept very clean with non-residue shampoo and that Iam excited to see the changes that will come making my hair more beautiful to me. I explained the different beliefs that people have about dreadlocks and their significance and how it must be more natural than combing daily as I'm sure there was a time we didn't have combs, brushes, hair dryersor styling product. She still does not like them, and as soaringeagle said, she doesn't have to. As long as she still accepts me for who I am, we will continue to have a close relationship. There are many things I don't like about her, but I don't feel the need to let those things come between us. Hope this is helpful to someone, even reading it as I type it reinforces my thoughts and beliefs that Iam who I am and as long as family can recognize that, they remain family.

rootspunkreggae
@rootspunkreggae
6 years ago
9 posts

just set some ground rules and tell them that you feel like its not up to them and if thay love you they wouldnt make you feel bad with negitive coments and i think if theyll respect that

Mikey Mikez
@mikey-mikez
6 years ago
90 posts

u r 32??? family shouldn't be your concern, u r an adult, supposed to have your own life and own style.. this really should not be an issue in your age. im 30 and my family doesnt have a right to tell me anything other than respectful 'how r u' or 'what is your opinion' sort of stuff. never tell me what i should or shouldnt do, cause i know better.

so if u have a family which likes to tell u stuff into your life, in your age they have no right anymore and you have the right to tell them off if they do...

i wish u good luck in overcoming the obstacles...;)

Rae
@rae
5 years ago
74 posts

I stressed out quite a bit before the first time I went home with dreads. My siblings thought it was cool, but we're pretty close kids and they know and usually accept/love my free spirit. My dad kinda sees us all as his little social experiments (lets take what you are born with, mix it with what I teach you, and set you free! He's ALWAYS there when we need him, even when he is disappointed in our decisions). My mother was kind of a big deal though, she didn't like them, every chance she got she said something to the effect of "you're hair's a mess", or "Go find a brush". Sometimes my sister would chime in with "I like Ray-Ray's hair!" but otherwise I'd just stick with my one line "Okay mom, you don't like my hair."

Echoing her words meant she knew I had heard her, I was also acknowledging her so I'm not being rude, but I was able to just brush it off with little frustration. My advice would be to find a single phrase you can put out there, keep it neutral and polite, and don't make a big issue out of it. Maybe at some point sit down with the family member(s) who take issue with it and explain, don't argue or force your way on them, just explain why you are choosing this journey, and why they are important to you. Listen to their concerns, because oftentimes you family does say/do crazy things only because they love you and want the best for you. Thank them for their concern and say you will take it into account and then make your own decisions.

Patricia Fox
@patricia-fox
5 years ago
42 posts

Most of my family was very negative and up until I did my dreads they did not like the idea. Now that I have them they no longer make comments. In fact all of my younger family members love them!

The important part is to make yourself happy by being yourself!

Denise ∞
@denise
5 years ago
83 posts

How do you react? Simple... you don't. Just ignore the negative comments.

Or if they say your hair looks ridiculous, just say "Really? I LOVE the way it looks! :) "

Don't get angry or anything. Respect their opinion and give 'em yours. If they won't shut up, ignore, change the subject. :P

Fave quote of mine: "What other people think of me is none of my business."

Denise ∞
@denise
5 years ago
83 posts

To please the world please yourself first.

The world needs more happy people. :)


MommaCrunch said:


Yup, miserable that is about how I feel when I am trying to please the world! I just need to learn not to give a rat's rear end. My free spirited side is just begging to be freed and not hidden. Sometimes I wish I could just take a trip to someplace where no one knows me and just do whatever and figure out how to let go of this need to please. KWIM?
Amy Lanning
@amy-lanning
5 years ago
6 posts

I think what your doing is fitting into your own mold. That really is the only mold that will fit. Because it is the truth, for you! Your truth is how you feel......

Never apologize for expressing what you feel.

That's like saying sorry for being real!

If someone really wants to be in your life, they will make an effort for it.

Don't ever expect honesty from someone who isn't being honest with themselves!

Sounds to me like the baggage your carry-ing around is them....PUT DOWN THE LOAD/free yourself!

If you have full faith in what you call God, and you have full faith in the truth that whatever happens toyou happens in accordance with the will of this God, then every place, every moment, and every event of your life will begin to feel sublime.....

Proper Grounding=Surrender

 
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