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Dreadlocks Forums

Dealing with Family?

HealingAmungTheTrees
@healingamungthetrees
7 years ago
93 posts

Lets see if I can keep this short.I am 32 years old and I struggle with trying to please others. I am trying to learn to be more free and not care but it is so hard. I think I just have a lot of baggage and I have spent way too many years trying to fit into all the little molds people want me to fit into.My family is going to make negative comments? How do I react to them? What can I do? Does anyone else have family who just don't get it?


updated by @healingamungthetrees: 02/14/15 07:37:21AM
Electric Mama
@electric-mama
7 years ago
80 posts
I would say just be your self, and be proud and happy about that. people will say things but you need to just brush them off.good luck~
☮ soaring eagle ॐ
@soaring-eagle
7 years ago
27,417 posts
fotr 15 years i got negative comments from my momthen one day she saw a conservatuive old ladyt in her 80s so excited to see and touch my dreads raving about how shed never seen anything so beautiful.. and from that day on my mom never said a thingfamily wirrieds more about how the dreads reflect oin threm..they think everyione will look down on them because you are dreadywhen they see you get admirsation and respect instead it changes how they see it


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Creator and head dreadhead at:
Dreadlocks Site
Glider pilot student at:
Freedoms wings international
Alden
@alden
7 years ago
303 posts
if they're giving you crap about your dreads, be honest with them.1. it's natural - they can't tell you their hair has never gotten knotted on it's own.2. it's cleaner than theirs - due to regular washings with non-residue shampoo.3. it's your hair - so they can kiss your ass!LOL please feel free to keep us posted. And good luck.
☮ soaring eagle ॐ
@soaring-eagle
7 years ago
27,417 posts
when they say "i dont like your hair" just reply "well you dont have to..thats your choice..i do and thats all that matters"


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Creator and head dreadhead at:
Dreadlocks Site
Glider pilot student at:
Freedoms wings international
Klete
@klete
7 years ago
47 posts
I know just where your coming from Mc, my parents give me crap everytime i see them, especially my mom. The only thing I can tell you is what i tell them, I'm not changing my style for you, nor am I cutting my hair so i can fit in so just deal with it cause this is how it's gonna be. End of discussion. And......... don't try to please others for the sake of them or fit into there "molds". Dosnt work, believe me. Was married twice trying to be a person i wasnt, didnt end up so well, you'll be much happier being just yourself. Just my 2 cents worth
Faelwynn
@faelwynn
7 years ago
362 posts
I'm in the exact same boat that you are. However, I'm the black sheep of my family, so it's not so hard for me to deal with what my family will/is saying. For those of them that still want to pitch a fit I use the 'ol "I'm an adult and will be free to make my own decisions. They aren't yours to make, and though I appreciate your input, if you have nothing nice to say then please say nothing at all. " It tends to do the job without being overly sassy to my elders. Living in southern california has also made it much easier to just be myself. Listen to what you're dready babies are trying to teach you; watch them grow and learn from them and you'll have no problems.Also, learn from my experience as I say this. If you try to please everyone around you, you'll end up miserable. I did it for a loooong time, until I forgot why I was trying and just let myself bloom.Who says you can't be young and have wise and helpful tidbits? xP
HealingAmungTheTrees
@healingamungthetrees
7 years ago
93 posts
Also, learn from my experience as I say this. If you try to please everyone around you, you'll end up miserable. I did it for a loooong time, until I forgot why I was trying and just let myself bloom.Yup, miserable that is about how I feel when I am trying to please the world! I just need to learn not to give a rat's rear end. My free spirited side is just begging to be freed and not hidden. Sometimes I wish I could just take a trip to someplace where no one knows me and just do whatever and figure out how to let go of this need to please. KWIM?
☮ soaring eagle ॐ
@soaring-eagle
7 years ago
27,417 posts
im gonna send you a lil private message so check your inboxMommaCrunch said:
Also, learn from my experience as I say this. If you try to please everyone around you, you'll end up miserable. I did it for a loooong time, until I forgot why I was trying and just let myself bloom.

Yup, miserable that is about how I feel when I am trying to please the world! I just need to learn not to give a rat's rear end. My free spirited side is just begging to be freed and not hidden. Sometimes I wish I could just take a trip to someplace where no one knows me and just do whatever and figure out how to let go of this need to please. KWIM?



--
Creator and head dreadhead at:
Dreadlocks Site
Glider pilot student at:
Freedoms wings international
☮ soaring eagle ॐ
@soaring-eagle
7 years ago
27,417 posts
you can try explainin what they are missing out on by choosing a boring life of conformity, but they will always fall back on that Well at least i have security and know ill always have a roof over my head" argument


--
Creator and head dreadhead at:
Dreadlocks Site
Glider pilot student at:
Freedoms wings international
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