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Whats it like being a dready parent?

MissKitty
@misskitty
5 years ago
5 posts
I am the only one in my household with dreads. My kids love my hair they are 14 and 17 but since I let my hair do what it want naturally they do try ot tell me to get it twited to look more uniform, but that is just not me. also since when I began my locks 3yrs ago they were backcombed and now refuse to twist to get loose endsin. Personally I'm fine with this but alot of ppl feel the need to take it upon themselves to tell me how to do my hair funny cause none of them have dreads. My husband doesnt like dreads but loves mine, hes bald and likes the feel of then on his head. The biggest problem I run into is ppl wanting to touch my hair I really hate that cause I have no idea where there hands have been and I find it very rude since I dont just go up and touch ppl for no reason. But other than that I dont have much overt trouble and if ppl make assumptions thats on them not me. I love my hair!
Andrea Schneider
@andrea-schneider
5 years ago
52 posts

I haven't had any problems yet. I don't have to worry about school right now since my daughter isn't even 3 yet. I've crazy haircuts, crazy hair colors (pink, blue, fire engine red, ect), and now baby dreads. i haven't had anyone (doctors, other mothers) disrespect because of my hair styles. I find that the people i would least expect to compliment me are the ones that do give me compliments.

Winnie
@winnie
5 years ago
5 posts

funny you should say that, i work with a group of elderly people and tbh i've not had one negative comment, or one bit of small mindedness about my hair at all, in fact quite the opposite, i find them curious (obviously they all thought you didnt wash them!) and inquisitive about my hair.. i find myself educating them, which is hilarious! they find them fascinating and are really nice about them!

as far as dready parents, hmm where to start, i've found that some of the most ignorant and small minded people are those of my own age and younger! my son had dreads from the age of about 10 (all gone now sadly) and he got loads of hassle and teasing and his headmaster and teachers were all absolutely horrible about it! they just wanna churn out robots that all look and think the same. i wish i'd have known then that i couldve home schooled them! i always thought i should be encouraging their uniqueness, but thats not how it was at all!!

Cassie
@cassie
5 years ago
11 posts

I just found out I am pregnant and due in may, I don't have dreads (I use to though). I am hoping by the time i have my child ill have little dread nubs and am worried. But at the same time My hubby and I have tattoos and piercings and definitely do stand out any ways. I guess you just go on with your daily life and if people make faces at us I'm just going to smile and laugh!

Jade
@jade
5 years ago
8 posts

I really have had way fewer problems than what I anticipated. My seven year old is dreading her hair and my four year old is not ( I don't feel like she is old enough to make the decision anyway) and my husband and I have dreads. My seven year old (Juliet) attends public school and she doesn't have any problems other than kids just asking her about it. We try to let our personalities shine through, we are constantly smiling and when we are out together as a family, we mostly get compliments on how beautiful our children are. Living in Louisiana, I expected more ugliness about our situation, but have been pleasantly surprised. There is some intolerance, but mostly from family who feel they have the right to voice their opinion regardless of how rude it is. We will be moving to Oregon in the next year or so, and I hope it will be a better place for us. But regardless of where we are, we have love and that's all we need. <3

Helena de Reybekill
@helena-de-reybekill
5 years ago
7 posts

Congratulations Cassie! :)

I think you will be just fine. If you can rise above the ignorance and hurtful things that some people say about dreadies, then you are the stronger person. Also, I believe that by doing this you will be teaching your baby to love an individual for who they are, not what they are.

I found that when I started my dreads, one of my uncles, who I'd always thought to be very open minded and loving, told me that he didn't like my dreads. The next time I saw him, my dreads were tied back. I was later told that he'd made some snidey side remark about 'oh, it's good she's got rid of them. They were horrible' blah blah blah. It upset me quite a bit. I think it hurts a little more when it comes from someone in the family who you really respect.

I think that most of the people who know me moderately well/ very well, know that I try my best not to judge someone, I quite often defend someone when they've been criticised and I have lots of love and kindness to give.

Personally, I find that when you've been used to looking different for the whole of your life (I was born with a condition called Microtia.), getting stared at, having hurtful remarks from family, strangers etc - You learn to take it in your stride. I'm still learning, but getting there.

I try to be as open minded as possible and I do my best to treat others as I'd like to be treated. Love yourself for who you are and do the same for others...

(sorry it's so long.. :/ )

Lisa Brebner
@lisa-brebner
5 years ago
6 posts

Wow...seems like there are really answers and ppl I can relate to here! I am a mother of five year old twin boys. I am also married to a wonderful husband, but has (and will tell you this too) become a bit more legalistic as he gets older. We are both in are late thirties. I have been a free spirit my whole life and this has caused some tension. We are working it through however. I live in an area where i feell like I am the only person with dreads, an interest in dreads, or an insterest in being free. I get a lot of crticism.

Star Gryphon
@star-gryphon
4 years ago
190 posts

I have a friend who unschools her son. :)

Zynobek said:

People are strange...
I am the Mom of a wonderful 9 year old dreddy Zyn Prince.
My child and I were rejected from a private school because...
" You must be able to comb his hair to attend this school"; said the president of the school.
What snobs!!! I homeschool now and some of the "religious hs groups" I've come across are just as judgemental and narrow minded.
So, I finally found a secular, all inclusive "unschooling" group that doesn't look twice at me or my son because of our appearance.
I am trying to surround my family with positive energy...that's why I am so glad to be a part of this group. Nice to know that I am not alone ;-)
Star Gryphon
@star-gryphon
4 years ago
190 posts

I go to a festival yearly that is a gathering for the entire family. I missed this last year when my daughter was born early, but we are TOTALLY going this coming may! It's a may day festival that is always the weekend closest to May 1st. There are dreaded people all over. It's pretty neat in the aspect that is the one time a year you see many of the people who attend and it's fun to see how much all the kids have grown in that time!

This next one will be my first as a parent. :)

sue said:

I just want to say that... in all my life.. the people that I have seen be the most kind, the most caring and gentle... the most gracious, forgiving, helpful etc. etc... are the 'hippie bums' that have travelled in and out of my life. I feel that, collectively, 'we' are the people with the least amount of judgement. I mean, if anyone has ever been to a 2/3 day festival.. you better be ready to count on all of the above mentioned qualities.
we may only be a small percentage of the world, but, we do stand out. we do get noticed. and when you have a good message, that can be an amazing thing!
so dont get upset at looks... just give a giant smile and maybe those who look will pass it along :)
Star Gryphon
@star-gryphon
4 years ago
190 posts

I live in Oregon. :)

Jade said:

I really have had way fewer problems than what I anticipated. My seven year old is dreading her hair and my four year old is not ( I don't feel like she is old enough to make the decision anyway) and my husband and I have dreads. My seven year old (Juliet) attends public school and she doesn't have any problems other than kids just asking her about it. We try to let our personalities shine through, we are constantly smiling and when we are out together as a family, we mostly get compliments on how beautiful our children are. Living in Louisiana, I expected more ugliness about our situation, but have been pleasantly surprised. There is some intolerance, but mostly from family who feel they have the right to voice their opinion regardless of how rude it is. We will be moving to Oregon in the next year or so, and I hope it will be a better place for us. But regardless of where we are, we have love and that's all we need. <3


updated by @star-gryphon: 07/22/15 07:01:43PM
 
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