A funeral and a brush :(

I'm new here and have been dreading(natural method) for about a month and a half - loving it. In my previous post I spoke of not having told my parents anything and being worried about their reaction.

Well, they are now aware of my intentions. And surprisingly ok about the whole thing, my mother did the whole 'it's gonna be hard to get a job and you're going to need money' situation but they were very 'you need to look at the bigger picture but other than that we don't mind - if it makes you happy'. This really has made me feel so so so much better and restored my faith in my parents.

But the conversation erupted from the fact my granddad is very ill as he has cancer and hence I will be attending his funeral in the next couple weeks. I have many happy memories of my childhood with him and his passing is really going to hit my family hard. My parents were/are very close to him and it means a lot to them that I look 'smart' at the funeral. They originally wanted me to get the typical smartening up visit to the hairdressers which I managed to avoid. They agree that I can do what I like with my hair after.

So over the next week I'm going to have to brush out my crazy fuzzy and the three big knotted bundles and keep it this way until after the event. Part of me wants to rebel against the idea that dreads can't be smart or that I need immaculate hair to be part of society. But I know my granddad would prefer me to look 'smart' and it means so much to my parents. Rejecting this would just be defiance and probably ruin the respect my parents have of my choices.

Yet I will return! Because this path is the right one for me and I think having to brush out my hair and start again will only make my feelings stronger.

Blessed Be x

Catnip

updated by @catnip2: 01/13/15 09:50:51PM

I think it is awesome that you are doing this out of respect. Part of your dread journey is discovering who you are. Some things are more important that your hair and this is one of them. I am very rebellious too so coming from me is a shock. I have the attitude that its my hair and if people don't like it they don't have to look at it, but I do admire your decision to do this for your grandpa and I think you are making a very commendable decision

This brightened my day a bit - I'm glad you agree with my choice.

I think your description of dreading being a journey of self discovery is so very true, it's much more than just a 'cool' hairstyle. I think it affects people on a very emotional level and in a very positive way.

My boyfriend helped me brush it all out today - it took a good three hours and wasn't the most comfortable thing going. But my hair will now take a brush through it and I strangely feel like i've lost more than just a few handfuls of hair.

DaThrill Helton said:

I think it is awesome that you are doing this out of respect. Part of your dread journey is discovering who you are. Some things are more important that your hair and this is one of them. I am very rebellious too so coming from me is a shock. I have the attitude that its my hair and if people don't like it they don't have to look at it, but I do admire your decision to do this for your grandpa and I think you are making a very commendable decision

I'm sorry to hear about your grandad. I agree with the first comment. I think you made the right choice while this is going on. It's respectful to your grandfather and family. Your parents probably have a lot on their minds, so this is one less thing for them to worry about. And you haven't lost too much time by brushing it out. You can always start again!

Bravo for you, very mature, glad to see respect for ones elders still exists.

My condolences to you and your family. May this be a strong part of your journey.

Catnip, my condolences to you and your family. It is never an easy time in life when that happens, but I think that brushing them out will help your parents emotions somewhat. You have grown up tremendously by the decision you have made. My respect goes out to you. You probably won't understand how your decision to remove them affected your parents, but it goes deep, they will always remember you doing this for your grandfather.

Give your hair a good conditioning to help tame it down if it looks a little rough right now from taking them out. Nice that your boyfriend helped you out.

Peace to all of you

very mature. at least you got a chance to start and know what to look forward to when you return!!

Sorry for the radio silence, my Granddad's struggle was much longer than any of us(including the doctors) expected. He remained for much longer than was comfortable and we are all glad he is now at peace.

I thank you all for your kind messages, they're all so lovely <3