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Help me get my mind stright.

Juniper Pärla
@juniper-prla
2 years ago
31 posts

I do not know what to do ... Now that I've finally taken the plunge and started what I have been afraid of for so long.
I started my journey with neglect about 7 months ago now and so far there is not much progress. I have been told that my type of hair is the hardest to dread so I've been sleeping on a wool sweater and for the first 5 months Iwashed with bs / acv until I finally bought the Lockin Up Liquid Dreadlocks Shampoo. I wash my hair about every three days and in between washes I spray with Lockin up sea salt spray. I rarelytie up my hair and I always let it air dry after washing. I do all things according to the rules and still everything moves so slow so slow. I have a few clumsy flat tangles in the back of my head. At firstI was so happy, but now when I look at them I just feel exhausted.

The people I have around me do not understand what I do or why I do it. I have no support and encouragement. When I look in the mirror, I want to give up because it's just frizzy and ugly, I feel neither beautiful nor attractive in any way. I live far from my family and the people I know here have not at all "the dread life style."
I know someone who got hers fixed with backocombiung and permfluid 11 years ago and hers look really nice. So now I find myselfe debatingwhether not i should look up a slong and just get it fixed. I'm loosing faith.

Completely desperate, I stood before the mirror and started to do some twist and rip ones.
I do not know how I will cope with my journey without the encouragement and support, for it seems to be a long and difficult one. I so want to give up and at the same time I want to see more perogress and keep trying. I dont want to cry anymore.

What should I do?


updated by @juniper-prla: 02/14/15 03:18:44AM
Lauryn Dowding
@lauryn-dowding
2 years ago
49 posts

I understand your pain that must be really frustrating, you could always just twist and rip then let them go naturally that way. Even if it progresses slowly like neglect at least it will show people what you're trying to achieve. Don't give up, good things come to those who wait.

Peace and Love.

NaturalDreads01
@naturaldreads01
2 years ago
172 posts

Have you tried using the bars from Dreadlockshampoo? I'm not sure why, but my progress started speeding up once I started using the bars instead of the liquid. You could at the very least try it. :D My progress has been pretty slow myself, so I understand how that feels.. IT has been almost 2 years now, and my hair looks like some people's who have been locking for only 3 or 4 months... Everyone is different.. But yeah, I recommend trying the bars.. Dragon's Blood is my favorite.. :D (not necessarily just scent wise, but also the way it lathers and washes.)

Ixchel
@ixchel
2 years ago
601 posts

time. they are well worth the wait. mine took forever! i only had a tangle (that's right JUST ONE!) at 6 months in. some of our journeys take more time than others, don't be discouraged, they all get there given time. i do enjoy the dreadlockshampoo.com bars more than i did the liquid, it wouldn't hurt to try em!

Jimmy DC
@jimmy-dc
2 years ago
87 posts

I don't have much of a recommendation, but rather just telling you to embrace it. If people are telling you that your decision of getting dreads isn't awesome or that's childish, or gross or whatever dumb thing ppl who don't have much knowledge about dreads say.

I am 14-15 months in and my hair has always been curly so I thought I would do fast progress but it hasn't really been fast. I had some three decent dreads which came on the back of my head and that was about it for the first 6 months. Now I have a bit more but it has been a slow ride. A lot of ppl tell me to put lemon juice, to twist them, use WAX, and straight out to not grow dreads or to buzz my head. I know a lot of it is done due to personal opinions or ignorance towards the hairstyle itself. But I don't think it matters regardless. If somebody you care for tells you this things you can explain the process and some of the history behind dreads, that you actually wash it and don't use chemicals damaging to your scalp, show them that you had a thoughtful process behind your decision of getting dreads.

And lastly I want to say that you have the support of everyone here, or I would think most of us haha, to keep on the journey. There is nothing too lose and we want to truly see you succeed. I am truly inspired and happy whenever I see a timeline post from anybody here, especially those who take us with them through their journey and see their first day pic to the two year+ anniversary. We do have each other a forum of others with the same taste towards dreadlocks, with different backgrounds and what not. And I promise you, that you'll be in my prayers tonight!

Hope you continue in this awesome, slow, yet beautiful journey. Best of luck!

Juniper Pärla
@juniper-prla
2 years ago
31 posts

Thank you all for your nice reply. I feel that it strengthens me.
I guess I really do not mind that it takes a long time, in addition to those around me questions and do not understand. I get angry when it makes me want to give up. I want to embrace my journey, but it's hard to find joy when nobody is on my side.
Sometimes I get so jealous when I Browes though timelines and it feels like everyone else has such a great success and happiness on their journey. And I hate when I get that feeling. Jealousy is not something I enjoy doing.

I have a bar at home from dreadlock shampoo (nag champa). I'll immediately start using it instead of the liquid dragon blood.

Anyway, I have decided not to use perming, but maybe a little twist and rip a couple rowes in the back of the neck. What do you think about that?
I do not want to give up my journey, but also I do not want to feel like I'm doing anymore.

Thanks again, you wonderful people!

Fred och krlek! (Peace and love!)

Jenifer J
@jenifer-j
2 years ago
42 posts

Hi Juniper, Keep going! I can relate in looking in the mirror and disliking the frizziness and ugliness. And getting jealous of all the beautiful timelines on here too. I just want to offer another word of support that you aren't alone!

I started with twist and rip, and it looks like we have similar hair types. the ones in the back didn't fall out like the ones in the front did, and they got loopy really fast. it might be worth trying...

Stubby
@stubby
2 years ago
36 posts

I feel your pain. I too have looked at the amazing timelines on here and thought, what is the matter with me? lol. some people's hair just seem to dread quicker than others. I've done what I think is the right way to take care of mine and it's taking foreverrrrrrrrr! I have not tried the bars but it sounds like a good idea. Well, I just want to encourage you, it will happen. You will have beautiful dreads. Just keep trying. Don't give up. Someday you will be able to share your story with someone just starting out.

Juniper Pärla
@juniper-prla
2 years ago
31 posts

Jenifer! I looked at your timeline and yes, we seem to have the same kind of hair type. Think I'm gonna try a few TnR in the back, wait a few weeks and se how they turn out. If they look nice I may do some more.

Stubby! Thanks for your kind words and encouragement, that is exactly what I need.
And I'm sure both you and I will have kick ass dreads one day.

Thanks again for all of your words. I feel more positive now and i'm gonna try to stay that way.
Also I'm gonna tyr to be less sensitive to the words of thoes around me who just dont understand and are not intrested in tyring to understand why I'm doing this.

Fred och krlek!

Jenifer J
@jenifer-j
2 years ago
42 posts

Good luck to you!

The other day I saw my nephew for the first time since I started. He played charades to tell me to brush my hair... 10 year old punk! it is hard to hear stuff like that but just remember that while many people don't understand, or don't have the desire to understand, there are still plenty of people in this world that do get it. Come here when you need some support!

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