Methods for "tidying up" young dreads

Hello everyone!

I started dreading about 4 months ago, and I'm loving every minute of it I've never loved my hair as much as I do now that I don't have to do pretty much anything to it. Before, it was a hassle. I love being carefree about my "nest". However, there is trouble in paradise. I live with my parents at the moment, and though I plan on moving out by September, their opinions and comments really stress me out. My mom constantly tells me to comb my hair, and yesterday she told me that my little sister isembarrassed of the way I look. According to my mother and sister I always look like a disaster, and I understand how they can perceive it that way. They are both people who find the norm comfortable, they are both trying to be functioning members of this society. I'm a bit... off kilter, and I always have been. Anyway, my dreadlocks aren't going anywhere, because this is who I am and I feel comfortable in my skin, but to make my sister feel better, to make life a little easier for my mother, and make the days go by with a few less comments would really benefit my stress level, too. No one likes constantly hearing that their appearance is making someone they care for very unhappy. So, I'll betrading in my old skirts (with many holes) for jeans and a t-shirt. Plain and simple so the only messy part on me is my hair and I can get through my day without the constant distraction of selfishharassment. It really grinds my gears when people think they have the right to say anything about the way a person looks. We're all entitled to our own opinion, but to make it more than just a comment and actually say shitty things to try shaming the being into changing their mind is just selfish and ignorant...

SO after telling you my whole life story, my question for all of you beautiful souls is this; what can I do to my dreadies to make them look neater without hurting them and not messing up their health in the long run?

Less loops and loose hair might make it more "presentable" to my family. I know some of you will have the urge to say "Don't even worry about what they think! Love yourself and keep truckin'", and I am totally there with ya', however my family IS important to me, and before I leave the house in 3 months or so I'd really like to improve our relationship, without having to hurdle over "Your hair looks messy and gross" in every conversation. It is unfortunate that my appearance means so much to them, but it is what it is. (We're from Lithuania, Europe and people really like to take care of themselves there. If you don't look presentable, people stare and talk, so my moms conditioning when it comes to this matter is much different than mine, since I spent half my life there and half here in America.) Please help!

(I was thinking about crocheting the ends and bringing the loops in a little bit. Even just thinking about it makes me sad, because I love the loops, but I'm willing to do it to relieve the stress here. I think I can manage to do it without ripping hair our, you can really tell if you're ripping hair out, it's simple, it's not supposed to hurt, but my worry with that is will they start looking funny and kinky in the long run? Will they just feel "dead" and unhealthy because crocheted knots are more stagnant and don't move and breathe like the neglect-induced knots?)

I hope someone has the patience to read this, haha! I might have to repost a shorter version...

Thanks for your opinions in advance!

updated by @koko-earthling: 02/14/15 01:18:35PM

Hello, perhaps you could just wear a tam when you are around them. It would cover your hair and look nice. You could also just get it on a pony tail to get most of the hair out of the view. I have been going through similar things. After 5 months they don't say anything, and when they do I just stop them before they finish, say no and they stop "recommending me to cut my hair"

The only thing i can think of, is palm rolling, but you can't do that every day, it will damage your dreads. You should only do that if you're going to a very formal event. Like rafael said, the tam is a good idea too.

Whatever you do please don't crochet..its torture to your hair..just have patience and (judging by the pictures) it wont feel so long until they look tidier by themselves

Okay, changed my mind on crocheting Accessories are a good idea for making them look tidy, I think I'll also look into some different ways I could put up short dreads, I'm sure there are videos out there. Thank you both!

3 lil letters h a t

--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

I hadn't even thought of it before you guys mentioned it, and I even have one to use! Haha, silly me.

Loops are necessary in the journey to becoming mature dreads. The loops are caused by the sections shrinking, becoming fatter to the thickness of where the hair meets the scalp. In a year or two they will be gone. Accept them and know that they are making you awesome dreads for the future. ...peace

this is a very cute post

just tie them up or wear a tam or hat when u have to 'present' urself

How about just tie them up? or make a bun or something, then you dont have to necessarily do anything to your locks its what I always did with my mom - we had the same problem. I refused though to take them out or "fix" them, so just tied them up and it made it seem better

I have to "organize" my dreads for work. In the fabric section of departments stores they have rolls of ribbon. Before I started wrapping and beading mine I would take a ribbon and tie in like a headband, then tie it in a pony from underneath...If that makes sense. It always looked really nice and kept my dreads out of my face.