How to cope with all the negativity?

Hi,

As title Im beginning to fail at coping with all the negativity I get on a daily basis because of my dreads.
Dont get me wrong, there is no way in hell I would cut them off. They are as part of me now as my right arm.

However in all the time Ive had dreads (over a year overall, did a restart at 6 months) I'veliterallyonly had 3 people say anything positive about them. (One of those went on to criticise they dont look like 'neat' dreads)

Every day is the usual barrage of being told I look like a drug dealer, a birds nest and other suchderogatoryterms. It is really starting to grate on my already low self-esteem.

So, anyone else in the same situation have any tips on dealing with such numpties?

updated by @reppyboyo: 07/24/20 08:15:49PM

Well I just started last week but already have negative comments. From family mostly...not friends. And family is supposed to tell you the truth right? As lo v as I can keep mine neat I'm gonna keep on truckin. I don't care coz I'm the one who has to fix it everyday and its my hair. I'm sick of trying g to impress everyone else...that's why I started. I love the look so I'm doing for myself. So maybe try to remember why you chose dreads in the first place

u have a low self esteem so you only hear those comments that reinforce your low self image

heres an example on another forum a kid posted an am i ugly discusion he gort 1000 no your not uglies a few dozen girls hitting on him and 1 sarcastic idiot said yes youir the ugliest persoin i ever saw

out of all thousand replies he only replied to that 1 ..please tell me why you think im ugly and what i can do to change that

he ignored all the rest..in fact it was like he didnt tread them

so yoiur self esteem is self perpetuating the negativity you could have 10000 comments about how great they are but u dont even register them only the negative ones

adjust your filter to filter out the negative ansd only alow in the possitive

1 i love your dreads is all you need to drown oput a thousand you look like a drug dealers

just like 1 your ugly can drown out 1000 yoir good lookimgs..its all in what you alow in..you filter it withyour own attitude towards yourself

start with that inner voice if its saying negative things about you drown it out with a barrage of possitives..possitive affirmations drown out negative thoughts

wich causes possitive thinking wich drowns out negative outide influences

so what is needed is an adjustment in how you think about yourself

once thats possitive no outside negativity can hurrt you

--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion,
I jus choose to not let them bother me haha.
My dreads help define who I am.
If people don't like em, oh well

"Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind" -Dr. Seuss

well. what soaring eagle said was super legit. also, what kind of people do you surround yourself with? you will always find haters, but there is balance and there are admirers. or just people who dont care what your hair looks like and appreciate you as a person. alot of the way people percieve you has to do with how you percieve yourself. start carrying yourself in a way that says "i like me. im very comfortable with myself". people will notice and treat you accordingly...except those people who just are determined to make everyone as miserable as they are. you just gotta roll with the punches. wearing a smile all the time helps.

I just took a look at your pictures. Your dreads look great! The wonderful thing about dreads is the older they get the more beautiful they become!!

Hm. Well, if I'm in a pissy mood and someone's hating on my hair, I'll say something like "Well, I'm definitely not the biggest fan of the state of your hair either, but that's not my problem now, is it?" Heh. If I'm in a better mood, I'll ignore them or be like "Mmkaythanxbye." And get away from them as soon as possible. I understand that dreads do look kinda silly and aren't to everyone's liking, but the things people say about them really do piss me off sometimes.

When I get comments about my hair or tattoos, I tell the person politely: "you don't have to like it." They really don't have to, and the reasons for my self image has nothing to do with pleasing them. It can be angering that people so readily give their negative opinion, but I'd rather not waste my time and energy being upset about it. I'm only concerned about what I and a few select people I trust think. I agree that confidence goes far!

I think your hair looks great and I always tell people "all that matters is that I like my hair. And I do. I love it". That usually shuts them up
updated by @randi2: 07/23/15 05:20:36AM