I give up...

I give up.

I started this journey, some 5 months ago initially because all of my friends, my coworkers, my teammates thought that I should cut my hair.

I thought of all of the people occupying Wall Street and Washington DC and decided that I would rebel in my own way. I would rebel against all of the social constructs that constrain me today. I would rebel against corporate greed and fiscal irresponsibility, I would rebel against the politicians that claim to represent me but only meet with big businesses. I would rebel against the line of thought that says you have to cut, or brush, or comb your hair. Since Im not able to walk away from my livelihood and occupy the streets of New York or DC and protest then I would let my hair sit atop of my head IN protest.

So I had someone section out my hair, and I went and bought gels, and clips, and rubber bands and a hair net so that I could let my hair dread up in protest and well, I guess I had the thought that I needed to look good while doing it..

Hmmmm.

Something resonated deep within me. Something unsettling about this. My friends and colleagues liked my new do now (I no longer sported a tangled mess of curles) and no longer thought that I looked crazy. Why didnt this sit right with me? My hair rebelled against this process and I was determined to win this battle of wills. So I would palm roll, root rub, two strand twist, and do whatever it took to get my hair to look like an good acceptable dreadlo.

What? Wait!....

And then I figured it out it hit me profoundly! What I thought that I was standing against I was only feeding into.

I believe in freedom, I live for it, I am an advocate for it, and for the oppressed and yet I was trying to make my hair conform to an image presented to me by the media. An acceptable dread.

So I give up! My dreads arent about a look. My hair isnt a fashion statement. My hair is about a revolution, at least in my own life.

They are about freedom. They are about living, moving and being as free as I desire to be. why would I want to make them conform to an image that is completely unnatural.

So, as I free my mind, I free my soul, I free my hair, I give up control (as in controlling it).. and with this in mind I can say with a great sigh of relief, I give up. And if you are on this journey Iencourage you to do the same.

updated by @wayne-robert: 08/20/21 09:07:48AM

Brilliant you're right, if it's about freedom then you have to throw away all ideas of society's ideas of acceptable. It's great that you're able to see this and embrace it.

this is awesome man! When I first read this I was thinking you were giving up on the dreading process, so I initially was going to comment telling you that patience is needed. But man looks like you already got it figured out. Enjoy the process Glad you see the freedom in it all.

Thanks Tara and Isai. I've realized that we find ourselves in the journey, not at the destination. I'm still revealing pieces of me, every day.

ya man I know exactly what you mean. By the time I have mature dreads, I feel that I would be a completely different and better human being all together.

This is very helpful to everyone who fear the society.

this is why we coined the phrase 'natural surrender" for people who started out thinking they had to force dreads to be dreDs only to be beatten by nature and eventualy just surrendering to the natural process

some fight it every day poking away at them rolling them in wax doing all they can to make them unaturak as oossible

i guess tyhey prefer to fight that fight..

im not a fighter..i just let what be be

--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

I profoundly agree with you.

I started reading this with mild disappointment that someone was giving up... then nodded as a read about the gel and other whatnot you were trying to use... I'm happy to say that when I came to the end of your post I had a smile on my face. You hit the nail on the head. Its about letting go, giving up the fight of trying to make your hair conform to some ideal and just letting your hair be itself, and at the same time learning to let yourself be... well... yourself
Thank you
and
Blessed Be

I completely agree with australe. i was sad to think you were giving up after only 5 months but was happy to find out your "giving up" was really just letting go. its not an easy thing to do. letting go of control of something is scary but also liberating . good luck on your journey you seem to be learning alot. :0)