Acceptance

Whoa boy... I'm only a week into my dread journey and my husband hates them. At first I thought he was going to support my decision but each day he has another wise crack to make about them. I can deal with strangers weird looks or reactions, but this is my husband. Any time I talk about them, or getting beads, or a tam... anything that has anything to do with "dreads" he rolls his eyes.

I am a happy person. Especially now that I am cancer free. I don't like negativity. I don't know how to handle this issue. We are in our 50's so we're not kids.

If any of you have had a similar situation, how did you handle it?

updated by @amy-jo: 10/29/18 10:48:45PM

I'm not married, but I do live with my family who (with the exception of my brother) isn't really supportive.

They make jokes and ask me 'When will you comb your hair already?' pretty often. My father even started making jokes when we talk about my graduation party which is to take place this time next year, telling me I can go to the thing wearing whatever, since I already look homeless, and this morning I got a lecture about the necessity of me taming whatever it is I have on the top of my head.

What I do with them is the following: I either tell them it won't be always this messy and try to explain dreading to them (for the god-knows-which-time), or I laugh and make jokes about my messiness too.

It bothered me at first, but then I came to realize I'm still me, and they know that. And whatever people decide to do, there will always be at least one person telling them that's wrong/ugly/pointless... But they won't be loved any less. And I think that's the only thing that matters.

What rlly matters is that YOU are happy. Explain to your husband how happyd this makes yoy, and how this is a true journey for your mind and soul. Maybe show him some pics of the beautiful dreads on this site my family gavw me the same looks, but because i showwd them how happy and free i was bwcausw of my locking, thwy grew to acxept them. My mom even makes all of my dread tams now . Mature locks take time, and so will his acceptance. Just be patient, and your husband will embrce your beauty just as you do . I hope this helped :-/

Totally, last year i had some non-natural dreads and my girlfriend would make similiar comments like homeless, doggish, etc. I cut mine and started over naturally and i think weve both enjoyed them this time around

amanda said:

What rlly matters is that YOU are happy. Explain to your husband how happyd this makes yoy, and how this is a true journey for your mind and soul. Maybe show him some pics of the beautiful dreads on this site my family gavw me the same looks, but because i showwd them how happy and free i was bwcausw of my locking, thwy grew to acxept them. My mom even makes all of my dread tams now . Mature locks take time, and so will his acceptance. Just be patient, and your husband will embrce your beauty just as you do . I hope this helped :-/

if u explain yoir dreads to him the way u did to ius..and he still doesnt understand or accept then hes pretty much heartless

i s the marriage based on love/ or convenience

if love its unconditional and your hair donrt matter i mean..u have hair still u coulda lost it and been bald wouldhe tease u about that/ as your walking round with cancer tearing u apaerrt would he joke about the baldy

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My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

Funny thing is HE'S bald!!

I lost a lot of my hair during chemo but it grew like crazy once chemo was done.

I am happy regardless if he likes it or not, and most important, I'm alive!!!!

Thank you everyone. I needed a little encouragement to just be me!

soaring eagle said:

if u explain yoir dreads to him the way u did to ius..and he still doesnt understand or accept then hes pretty much heartless

i s the marriage based on love/ or convenience

if love its unconditional and your hair donrt matter i mean..u have hair still u coulda lost it and been bald wouldhe tease u about that/ as your walking round with cancer tearing u apaerrt would he joke about the baldy

I wondering if your hubby is maybe feeling a little bit insecure. Did he look after you quite a bit during chemo etc? I don't know but I'm guessing that beating cancer has left you with a whole different outlook and maybe he finds that a bit scarey? You are alive and celebrating life. Enjoy your dreads...you deserve to enjoy them. He will just have to get used to them.:D xx

Yes, he did take care of me during all of my surgeries and chemo and was very supportive. I've always had such a positive attitude and that really helped with dealing with cancer!! He's doing quite a bit better now with accepting my dreads.

That's good news Your dreadies are about the same age as mine. My heads a lovely mess of loops and fuzz atm .

Yes, it is

Thanks!