sick of my dreads

Hi All

For the last few months ive been sick of my dreads. Im sick of people asking me if i wash them etc

I feel really unfeminine and really unattractive. This is not a post looking for people to tell me im attractive by the way this is me trying to find if there are any girls (or guys) who are going through or who have gone through something similar.

I havent posted here in a while, the site seems massive in comparison to what it was a year ago so ive been quiet

Karen

updated by @karen: 02/14/15 08:23:57AM

The way I see it is that you know you wash them or clean them and you know they are clean! That's all that matters! Everyone's gotta be a critic!

I hear it too and I turn around and say my dreads are so much cleaner than your hair! Yes, I get the occasional itch just like everyone does but I know I wash/clean them and I know I don't have bugs!

Be sure about whatever decision you make before you do or undo anything to your dreads! I had a fit of hormones and brushed mine out... a very long and painful process... ouch! I have not brushed my hair since November due to the pain I experienced from it. Which leads me to say, I am finally getting knotty again! Maybe you just need a new bead, or a trip to the beach! Or wear a tam for a while and then when it comes off you might be over it and so glad that you stuck it through! I sure wish I had! Also try changing your method of washing for a week or so, I know I felt differently about my dreads when they looked dull as usually my hair is pretty shiny. I like it shiny. Hope you get past this part soon! It is a process!

I have days where I think I should not have started the dreadlock journey. Then I go online and look at some pictures and I'm all hyped again. As for being "girly" I've never been a girly girl so I'm not too much help there but what about getting some of those flower clippies, or some pretty handkerchiefs, or some really nice scarfs to just spruce things up on a day you aren't feeling very feminine? I know you don't need to hear this but you're gorgeous as are your dreads, and I hope you take a long think before deciding to stick with or brush out your dreads, either way you are beautiful. Good luck in your decision!

I have certainly had the feelings you describe, days of looking in the mirror and going, "what was i thinking? i look horrible!!" and then i have days (way more often) of thinking "this is part of the walk i'm on, and things are going just right".

I work as a nurse in an ICU, and my coworkers have gotten curioser and curioser the longer i've been dreading, so questions have become more frequent and pointed. the washing question is by far the most popular one. fortunately, i'm pretty secure and don't value the opinions of others much, so if it's my coworkers asking, and being respectful, i answer w patience and continue educating on dreads. on the other hand, one physician who is always a condescending smart ass has made some comments about my having a head injury (i was wearing a wide white headband that day) and something else about the dreads which i can't recall at all (that's how important it was to me), and in light of our professional relationship and my lacking the need to always have the last word, i simply ignored him. on a positive note, he hasn't said anything else about it for a few weeks now.

so i hope you can find peace, whatever you decide. my advice is to go with your gut feeling, whatever feels right to you, but give it enough time that it is truly a decision and not a knee-jerk reaction to this negativity you're feeling.

peace to you!

how is backcombing any more natural than crochet??? anyways Karen do whatever you feel is right for YOU! Good luck with whatever you decide I'm sure you will make the right decision. Many Blessings

fancyAmanda said:

Hey Karen, sorry to hear... I can say that with my dreads, being natural, they look a lot less uniform and tidy than yours do and I've gotten the looks on the street, my family asking constant questions, all that jazz. But I don't feel ugly with them, I simply love them. Sure I'm very eager for my hair to gain some length and for my knots to really starting looking like dreads, but I respect the process and I want to take the time to grow into them because I know it'll be worth it.

It looks like your dreads have come along very well. I think they suit you. You have to take what others say with a grain of salt... you know yourself and why you chose to get dreads, and you're educated on the truth about them. Educate others when they approach you. Hopefully you decide against getting rid of them

stop caring what they think instead learn to get a lil pleasure out of it remember every negative comment just means your not conforming to the norm your different unique 1 of a kind..not a robot clone so take pleasure in the clones disconfort around you they fear what they dont understand they strike out at you cause they feel inferiur and trapped in theyre own lil conformity

in otherwords let your freak flag fly like they used to say

--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

Did I hear that you've cut them off? I am looking for real dreads to use as extensions..I know I lot of people will not agree- But if you want a new home for them please contact me

soaring eagle said:

stop caring what they think instead learn to get a lil pleasure out of it remember every negative comment just means your not conforming to the norm your different unique 1 of a kind..not a robot clone so take pleasure in the clones disconfort around you they fear what they dont understand they strike out at you cause they feel inferiur and trapped in theyre own lil conformity

in otherwords let your freak flag fly like they used to say

people always ask me if i clean them too i admit i get bothered but i dont let it bring me down.

I know your not looking for compliments but your hair is gorgeous, keep up the great work. I'm not even two weeks into my dread journey and I work at Target. I have to keep myself looking good and I do everything I can to make myself presentable but my hair I will not touch. I get asked why I don't brush my hair and wash it. I tell them I do wash it give it a smell and how my hair may even be healthier then theirs. I really don't care as far as the comment have and will continue to go. I walk past mirrors all the time and saying out loud "damn your looking good today, keep it up hair your doing good" and I always walk away with a smile on.
perhaps it is the fact that I am a guy and most guys really could give a fuck less what someone thinks but just remember, you are you. comments are not you.