We all began this journey for different reasons. I am almost 9 monthes in and I am still amazed at how dreads have changed my life. I realized just today that without even knowing it I have completely distanced myself from most everyone that I used to call "friend". Over the last monthes, I have begun to see many things differently. This is not to imply that I think myself to be better than others or in some kind of bubble of perfection...it is just that somehow, many of the people in my life just don't seem to fit anymore. I think we all overlook faults of those we care about, but I also feel that there comes a time where we have to "draw a line in the sand" and decide where we stand in lifeand inwhat we believe. I have found many of my "friends" to be sorely lacking in the areas of love, forgiveness, tolerance, fairness and honesty.For example, someone I had called friend made a very nasty remark about an African-American man and I reminded her that I am of mixed race and she said, "Oh, I don't mean you, you're different." Or when another friend walked away from someone to instantly begin speaking horribly about that same someone to another person! Not to mention those friends who shake their head and ask me if I still plan on continuing "this dread thing". Seems that they don't get me anymore than I get them. The funny thing is...I don't really miss any of them. I have been spending a fair amount of time alone and I really don't mind. Am I alone in this revelation? Or am I being as critical as I perceive these individuals to be?
updated by @panterra-caraway: 02/14/15 03:31:19AM
Am I Alone In This Revelation?
dreads do seperate the worthwhile from the worthless
attracting the positive repelling the negative
they filter youir freinds for you
dont ya worry the good ones tht come around will outshine all those left behind
--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1
You are not alone! I don't know how much it has to do with the dreads for me, because I'm only 4 months in...but I had to tell my "best friend" the other day that our friendship wasn't working how it is right now. She was being opinionated, judgemental, patronizing and just plain unfair to me, like I need her to be my life coach or something. Oddly enough, when I expected her to react defensively and get upset, she apologized and tried to understand and has agreed to work with me because our friendship is important to her. In the past I have just let these things go and pretended she hadn't acted how she did toward me, but I finally felt like I had to share my feelings. I feel more open, maybe it is that "time" in my life where I realize the bull sh*t has to go, genuine is it, or maybe these locks really connect to spirituality...
no i completely understand, I've began to see how close minded some people are, this journey for me is all about finding peace in myself, getting rid of the stress and just becoming more healthy and happy as a whole. I had so much stress and drama that I could get rid of and I just never did I held onto it just like I did my vanity of my looks. I am becoming more comfortable with myself and not trying to make people happy all the time, just me and my family. Those who don't get what I am doing that's their problem, luckiliy most people I am really close to are embracing this change in me and keep telling me how "me" it is.
somehow...
i'm with you, sister! i think being so cal girls we have to deal with a lot of superficial, entitled people especially woman. sadly i don't even have friends because of this. i just don't have the need or want to "keep up with the joneses". i just haven't found any genuine individuals in my area. i refuse to be friends with people who are close minded, dishonest backstabbers. i have one person who i loosely call a friend but she lives over an hour away so we rarely see each other. i haven't even told her about my hair. i know exactly what her response will be. i'm not a confrontational person and she is. she feels that her way is the right way so i'm sure her response to my hair wouldn't be pretty. i just don't need that negativity in my life right now. dreading my hair hasn't changed me but thats probably because i tend to hide my hair because i hate it right now. i think it's age thats opened my eyes.
Wow...You have taken the words out of my mouth. The ones who judge are the ones who are unhappy with themselves. I am about to dread my hair and know I will come up against the same critisims and judgements. I hope I can be as strong and wise as you are about those who appose what you want to do. Made my day reading this thank you! xemx
Thank you SE! I value your opinions so much 
soaringeagle said:
soaringeagle said:
dreads do seperate the worthwhile from the worthless
attracting the positive repelling the negative
they filter youir freinds for you
dont ya worry the good ones tht come around will outshine all those left behind
You know Heather, I think that is so true about California! We seem to have a surplus of vain, self-absorbed types here. When I go to pick up my kids from school there are these litle cliques of grown women who seem to turn their nose up if you don't look just "right". They all drive these big, expensive SUV's and they display their money by talking about it or showing everyone pictures of it. I don't deny anyone success after working hard...but these people seem to think that success makes them a better person too. I feel uncomfortable with this whole mentality and I tend to sit alone...thus, I become a target for their comments and appraisal. It is sad that this is the reality of too many places in our world.
Heather said:
Heather said:
i'm with you, sister! i think being so cal girls we have to deal with a lot of superficial, entitled people especially woman. sadly i don't even have friends because of this. i just don't have the need or want to "keep up with the joneses". i just haven't found any genuine individuals in my area. i refuse to be friends with people who are close minded, dishonest backstabbers. i have one person who i loosely call a friend but she lives over an hour away so we rarely see each other. i haven't even told her about my hair. i know exactly what her response will be. i'm not a confrontational person and she is. she feels that her way is the right way so i'm sure her response to my hair wouldn't be pretty. i just don't need that negativity in my life right now. dreading my hair hasn't changed me but thats probably because i tend to hide my hair because i hate it right now. i think it's age thats opened my eyes.
