Strangers and acquaintances are the worst and it keeps happening. I try to verbally educate them but it's like going in one ear and out the other... What do you say when someone says "you should go get them done again" or "Use wax" when they themselves haven't been on a dread journey before?
It's so annoying, I made a YouTube video about it...
Haha ! I get you ! lol
It does bug me too, I try to explain to them.. but if they don't want to listen,
then it's not my problem. Regardless, It's MY hair, I'll do what I want and I
won't let it get to me. After all, dreads are like a filter, they help identify the ones who
are open minded from the ones who are ignorant.
I learned long time ago , usually when someone tries to tell you how to correct what they see as flawed, It is just their envy.Kind
peoplenever insert themselves in your life with corrections they just go with it. Others try to fix everything to fit their world. Sounds life you got caught in the world of people who are doing nothing but making the perfect the world. Too bad they miss how beautiful imperfect really is.!
Don't despair, just see the fact they long for the freedom you have in finding your own path.Dreads teach you love and acceptance for all.Just enjoy the journey and realize as a person.you will be enriched by them in a way you cannot truly understand.
Graciela Moreno said:
Haha ! I get you ! lol
It does bug me too, I try to explain to them.. but if they don't want to listen,
then it's not my problem. Regardless, It's MY hair, I'll do what I want and I
won't let it get to me. After all, dreads are like a filter, they help identify the ones who
are open minded from the ones who are ignorant.
Oh, if I had a nickel for every time someone walked into my place of work and was like "Imma fix you up with some beeswax, no worries!" Ugh. But honestly, once I tell them that faffing around with my hair would directly contradict the idea behind freeforming, they usually leave me alone. I try to educate before I hate, haha.
My parents would constantly tell me I should comb them out until my scalp is better (I had terrible eczema on my scalp at the time) and then get them done at a proper salon, an African salon. Well, naturally I told them of the evils of salons (or ignorance, if not evil) and the products and methods and the risks involved. Naturally it went in one ear and out the other. I was saying the same thing every time they asked, which was literally more than 30 times. It was horribly annoying and tiring, and it hurts because it makes you feel like what you say is of such little value that it's not worth even remembering. But there came a turning point; my dreads started looking like dreads, and my scalp cleared up, therefore alleviating my parents' concerns, so they stopped. For them, the messiness wasn't ever a big deal, really, they just didn't see that they'd dread on their own.
For you, I've seen your pictures and good Lord, your dreads looked like dreads after one month 
so I'm guessing it's the mess that people say these things about. In which case, tell them it's your decision and you'd rather messy, healthy dreads than perfect-looking dreads that will fall off after a few years. You don't need to justify yourself to anyone.
Thanks for the supportive comments everyone. What spurred this was a cashier telling me to get them done by her daughter in law. She was trying to drum up business for her, I get that. I also get that many cosmetologists are tricked into thinking you need products andthat they are safe (which only about 1% are) to use on whomever and make a profit. I'll try and revamp my approach as to how negative manual methods can truly be. I agree that they are envious. Jealousy breeds envy. A waiter I knew from highschool was actually upfront about it this month when i stopped in a restaurant and said " wow, you have dreads now? I'm jealous, I wish I could do that" and I smiled. If only those people who don't embrace imperfection would say something like that... I have an awesome chat coversation from someone... he didnt want to listen. If you think you can not get enraged over his lack of a brain, then read on.
curiousgeorg3: its looks messy but once u get it done, itll look hott lol
me : there is no definite "done" with neglect, the journey goes on for a long time... no chemicals, no manual process, no maintenance, but yes, i will be happy once it locks up.
curiousgeorg3:wax it and keep dreading it i guess
me : yuck
(T) curiousgeorg3: white girl with dreads
me : wax is a dread killer
(T) curiousgeorg3: sexxxyy
me : so how many dreadheads do you know that have used wax and dont get mildew?
me : and dont cut em
me: and totally lock up?
(T) curiousgeorg3: mmm about 2 of them
me : I had a bf who had them for a year and a half, who waxed only a few times and they never locked completely using the backcombing thing
curiousgeorg3: one of them shes my friend she did it like 2 yrs ago and she waxed and keep dreading them daily
me : shit, im not going to shave my head, thats why i dont backcomb
me : you know how split that makes the shaft?
(T) curiousgeorg3: lmao why not?? bald girls is the new shit now days
curiousgeorg3: i see girls with half a head shaved
me : then you have the strange stage that comes along with BC and crochet
me : yeah, i just dont want to
(T) curiousgeorg3: why not take it to the next level. go bald ot go home lol
me : so mine come out with conditioner
me: until absolutley necessary for the health of our neck muscles we won't be cutting them... well, he might look okay but if my dreads get so heavy that they give me a wide neck, I'll probably start all over again for the fun of it.
me: straight hair is so overrated
curiousgeorg3: chances are youre gonna get rid of them in less than a year
me : fuck naw
me: im in for the long haul
me: im doing it with my hubby so there's a pact unspoken about not cutting them
curiousgeorg3: cuz after a while if you domt take care of them and do the proper procedures then you better off buy a free pass for the baber shop
curiousgeorg3: but it takes time so dont get all crazy about it... maybe your hair needs diiffrerent tratment
me : "take care of them" there lies the issue, see theres this mistakenly spread thing about maintenance... when there is none. i cant wait to put this on my blog.
