Yesterday I arranged to pick up some of my stuff from my ex today. Its already been four months since we broke up.

Initially I thought I was doing great! I hardly thought about her, didnt feel much sadness when I did, so I surmised that todays meetup would be fine.

I chose comfortable clothes, forwent my tam, and brought my dog along.

As the time to the meetup slowly drew closer, I found that my heart was pounding and I was short of breath. I went to the meetup place ten minutes earlier than the stated time, and waited.

Annnd waited,

I decided to give her a call and realised that I still know her number by heart.

She had conveniently forgotten about meeting up.

At that point, I simply felt utterly defeated.

I hadnt been able to let go yet.

I was putting way too much thought into dressing down, having way too much nerves before the meetup, bringing Sammy along to have an excuse to leave, and I still cant even forget her phone number.

Moving on, it seems, will take a lot more time than I had expected.