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Castaway J


Location: Las Vegas, NV
Zipcode: 89118
Country: US

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Blogs: 9
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hmm..nearly 16 months neglect. Reflection.

By: Castaway J
Posted in:

Namaste! Reading my first few blog posts..Its amazing how much i have changed and grown since then. My locks are doing great, i am feeling fanfuckingtastic! Not to brag or boast but locks really do effect life for the better! It has made it much easier to determine whos real and whos not, not to say it was difficult before, its just instantaneous you could say... the real people come to me now; with open conversations its something that was a rarity before dreads. And i love it. One person on the bus told me that i have a very humbling look with the beard and dreads, and i couldnt agree more! After all lead by example right?
One of the reasons that i began dreading in the first place is because it is natural. To further that point it is a daily, constant, reminder of the natural and truly organic life that i have been crying out for inside for..What seems my entire life.
When i first began, my dreads tested me and i failed. Sure, say its coincidence, but there is no such thing in this universe. Everything happens right when it should how it should, and doors open or thankfully close if you are open to it. We all have our battles to work out within and growing dreadlocks really assists you in bettering yourself. They have me.
No longer do i have to keep things to myself. I can say what is on my mind at that moment, and though it is related to the conversation, i say things in a way to get people to think more. Deeper.
Anyway, about my dreads. As they grow and develop, so do i as a human. Meditation has become a part of my life, a more dominant part anyway. Whether it be a ten minute session watching the sun rise which has become my favorite meditation practice, or trying to attain a meditative state throughout the day, I feel I can only thank my dreads for that. Ive always thought spiritually, but have not really practiced anything before, and when I did i was ridiculed. But I realize now that you cannot talk these things with people who have not strived to better themselves.. The great thing about having dreadlocks is that you do not care what anyone else would think if you told them you meditate, and are a spiritual being, whereas I used to hide it. at first people thought I was full of shit when i said Im dreading for spiritual reasons...all I can think about is "All you know about mes is what i sold ya" and it is so liberating to know that that is in the past!
On the way home tonight I thought about something and immediately knew it was my ego talking/thinking. Furthermore, I could literally feel my ego off to the side. Where it should be. This made me really happy, because for years my ego had a dominant say in everything, now it is a tiny voice that still has its opinions, but those are what society or Babylon has drilled into it. I simply say thanks for your input and it goes away. But I felt it in my mind like a tiny ball next to the mountain that is my awareness.
More and more I have been working on living in the NOW, the moment, and not think about the future for what may or may not happen. Always analyzing every possible outcome I can rarely lived in the now. Dreadlocks allowed me, over time, to let go more and more than ever before. Let go of concerns for money, making people happy, etc. never living in the moment at hand. Work does interfere with this as Im thinking about when I have to be somewhere, or when I can go home. I resent having a job. Its just playing the game. A game I have come to associate with less and less. Eliminating unnecessary, stressful bills and obligations. No longer do I feel SO tied down.

Thanks for taking the time to read if you do, everyone here is great peoples!

I could go on and on but Ill stop here :) peace!

Diego F.
01/17/13 09:04:13PM @diego-f:

amazing reflection!

Castaway J
01/16/13 12:59:44PM @castaway-j:

minumum you get ten years of life experience. i learned a lot bout the world. it opened my eyes, ill say that.

01/16/13 12:53:53PM @totheankles:
What?! Seriously?! YOU?!How do you look back on that period of your life?

Castaway J
01/16/13 12:42:46PM @castaway-j:

and having been overseas to iraz i dont care much for FPSs because i been there done that lol

Castaway J
01/16/13 12:42:18PM @castaway-j:

yeah dude i share the same sentiments about it. im stubborn about buying new consoles, its been since 360 first released that i bought a new one, and ive come so far since and grown further apart from the gaming world. my coworkers help though i live vicariously in the gaming world through them. i think i was content gaming so much when a kid because i was waiting to grow up and actually start living.

01/16/13 12:28:00PM @totheankles:
Yea same about games here. I used to be a massive gaming geek, since I started poker I just think "Why would I play this when I could play poker and earn money?". When I was 14 I would've never imagined quitting gaming. It was literally my life, and I was pretty damn happy about it.Games these days just piss me off, though. Same with those who dare call themselves "Gamers" with crap like COD, GTA and the worst that has plagued me since childhood: Fifa. I've become this old bitter man at 28 that talks about the "good old days" when games were cool.I don't really have the hardware for anything but 1 hour per year of retro-gaming anyway so it's real hard to get into new games that I do like when I'm too cheap and too lazy to buy a new rig, and too damn stubborn to buy a new console.

Castaway J
01/16/13 12:15:35AM @castaway-j:

@Melanie rose thank you very much for the reply. when you are on the right path you just know it. locks of hair on my head have really helped in this!

Castaway J
01/16/13 12:11:39AM @castaway-j:

@ToTheAnkles! yes, i love my beard very much haha its still got a long way to go itself. its going to be tough making it through the heat of summer in Vegas and not shave it off. it wont happen tho ;)

theres so much more i wanted to add to the blog post too but, you can see the tip o the iceberg from here.

thats kinda what i was getting at too, is how work interferes with the maintaining of that state, but its becoming easier and easier to achieve its surreal.

i like the office i work at, the people are very fun to be around, and we discuss things, mostly video games which i dont get into much these days, but its still fun to listen too! i try and get into a game when it comes out, but so few can keep my attention these days. and yeah haha it takes me forever to get home sometimes, its such a waste of time, but ill spend MY time waiting for a more economical means than have a car and pollute even more. dunno one of the reasons i havent gotten a car again, as easy as it would make life for me.

subways would be a step up from the bus me thinks lol thanks for the reply :)

melanie rose
01/15/13 02:00:15PM @melanie-rose:
Thanks for sharing castaway. Seems like youre on such a powerful journey. Congrats, you are very inspiring.

01/15/13 11:47:51AM @totheankles:
With a beard like that I would feel pretty fanfuckingtastic aswell.For me work is extremely stressful and frustrating, but at the same time it gives some real weird deep sense of happiness. I feel like shit right now for not having done any decent grinding in the last 2-3 days because I had to pick out my dreads and I'm in a hair crisis which is bad news for achieving the perfect "zen mindset" to do some profitable grinding.I remember when I had to go to office. It was absolute hell. No sense of enjoyment from that at all. But virtually no stress or frustration either. Regardless of how bad I would still have a paycheck that month. On the other hand, it was strangely enough more fun to go to work, minus the crowded subway and waking up at 8 in the morning (although waking up at 4 in the afternoon like now is even worse). Sitting behind the computer and grinding out 4 to 6 hours is just soul crushing at times.

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