So recently I went on a vacation to Puerto Rico and it was stressful at some points. My family isn't the most calming people to be around. Anyways we rode ATV's in the rainforest and it was absolutely beautiful. I know for sure that I want to live on the mountains and I'm honestly thinking about living some where like Puerto Rico because the rainforest is on the mountains and it's just amazing the people are jet typical islanders and there's so much life and community that it seems as though no one is sad or controlled. We went to take a rest near a river and the river was completely clear. Our guide said that when it rains the water becomes 95% clean water which is okay for people to drink and i just thought that was the coolest thing. If i were to go to a river here in VA or WV I'm pretty sure i would get sick if i drank the water. There was so much life and I sat on the roots of a tree and had my feet in the river and I immediately felt connected, with everything. I knew i wanted to surround myself in nature but there wasn't a real way i was feeling a full connection to it. I need experiences like the one i had in PR to keep this sort of spiritual momentum. I had no phone (which i will admit that I am addicted to) or anything else manmade to occupy my time besides maybe clothes or the parked ATV's but that's fine. It's just difficult to have these connections to nature where I live. My family has views far from mine and they're generally stressful to be around, everywhere i go there is something manmade, the trees and bushes are cut to look the same, there's usually cement paths to anywhere that looks promising. I'm not trying to complain, I do have a comfortable life that I'm grateful everyday for, it's just not the one I want. I don't want any of this, I don't care for being financially comfortable, I don't even use most of this stuff I don't watch TV and i don't need a movie theatre at my disposal. Id rather be like my stepsisters grandma who lives in sort of a box house in the mountains with home made meals, perhaps a garden, and a PA system to play music.

Anyways...

So on the root of the tree there was something that sort of made me feel like it was important. This was an important tree and i needed to pay attention to it. And it was after that, that I started paying attention to the way trees grow and how interesting and helpful they are. Sort of like the limbs of the earth. I felt like i was breathing with the tree and all the life that was on it and swimming through it. It was just lovely and there was something Emmerson said that i didn't really understand fully about being so overwhelmed by nature that theres a tinge of fear. I always thought that it was a fear of that happiness escaping but I felt a fear or more of a doubt but I'm not sure why. Like maybe I'm doing something wrong.

(rambling now)

In relation to this website:

I sort of came up with this analogy that trees are like dreadlocks. I wouldn't cut them or trim them, I want them to natural and grow and long as they can. Trees all grow differently they have branches and holes and bumps and they're unique but some people, especially in neighbor hoods like mine, try to cut them to look the same, strait up and down with many leaves. Just made me think that people who want their dreads to look perfect are going to kill their tree. It's like fighting nature. Trees are going to grow large and beautiful, and there's life in them literally and it's the same with our hair, it all starts from the roots and roots go pretty deep down.